Hi there…
I’m Brad Browning, relationship coach and author of The Ex Factor Guide.
This video is going to be focusing on how to win back an ex after months or even years
apart.
So if you and your ex broke up long ago but you want to rekindle that spark, this video
should give you some tips and advice on how to make that happen.
Let’s start by talking about one of the benefits you’ll enjoy because of the months
and years that have passed since your initial breakup.
Remember that the old saying, “time heals all wounds”?
Well, that saying is indeed true, at least to a certain extent.
Often times, the months or years that you were apart from your ex can help erase some
of the negative memories your ex may retain of you and your relationship.
This time apart is especially helpful if your relationship ended on poor terms, with a breakup
that involved a whole lot of fighting and tears.
While time may not heal all of the negative memories and hostile feelings that your ex
may still harbor – especially if your relationship ended due to cheating, infidelity, or other
major events that rock the core of your mutual trust – it usually does a great job of helping
your ex forget about the more negative aspects of the time you shared together.
What else is good about time apart?
Well, one or both of you may have dated other people since the breakup, giving you time
to reconsider and maybe even appreciate the relationship you had with your ex.
You've also probably missed him or her... and, similarly, your ex has probably missed
you (at least to some extent).
So, that’s the good news.
The bad news, unfortunately, is that time can also be your enemy… depending on how
long it’s been since the breakup, it’s always possible that your ex has found someone
new and simply isn’t going to respond to your attempts to reconnect.
So, while I definitely think there’s often a very good chance at getting your ex back
even if its been a year or longer since the breakup, you need to be prepared for the possibility
that things simply won’t ever work out, no matter how hard you try.
If you want to find out what your chances are and how likely it is your ex will take
you back, I recommend you use the free quiz on my website…
it’s free and only takes about 5 minutes to complete….
just answer a few questions and then click submit to see your results and get a better
idea of where you stand with your ex and what your odds are.
I’ll have the link to this free quiz in the description below this video, but the
URL is www.BreakupBrad.com/Quiz
Anyway, let’s move on and talk about re-establishing contact with your ex.
Re-Establishing Contact With Your Ex
Depending upon how you broke up, and who initiated the end of the relationship, re-establishing
contact with your ex may be a bit challenging.
If it was you who got dumped, contacting your ex should actually be easier than if it were
the other way around.
Presumably, with many months having passed since the breakup, it’s unlikely that your
ex will question your motives.
You should be able to make a friendly phone call to your ex without arousing any suspicion.
If you’re going to call or message your ex out of the blue, it’s best to have a
legitimate reason for the message (ie.
ask a question, suggest a movie, etc) so they don’t wonder why you’re suddenly wanting
to talk again.
While I’m a big fan of text messages, emailing or texting your ex isn’t necessarily the
best option here.
Ideally, it’s best if you can arrange to run into your ex in a “coincidental encounter,”
where you “just happen” to bump into them at the supermarket or a coffee shop.
Whatever your chosen strategy, face to face (or voice) contact with your ex is what you're
looking for.
You need to impart feelings of familiarity again, and this is hard to do electronically.
You also want to show your ex the “new you” so that they can see how much you’ve changed
(for the better) since the breakup.
How To Handle The In-Person “Date”
When you finally do arrive at the meeting with your ex, there’s a few simple things
that you should keep in mind...
Try not to become overly nervous.
Be casual and try to act as calm and cool as possible.
Try not to get emotional.
You should have been apart long enough that this won’t be an issue, but if you’re
prone to tears and emotional outbreaks, do your best to keep these in check while you’re
with your ex.
Keep the conversation light, upbeat, and casual!
One of your primary objectives here is to remind your ex why they fell in love with
you long ago, and that means you need to show them the lighter, more fun side of your personality.
Just try to have fun and keep your conversations light-hearted.
Flirt with your ex!
Flirting is good, especially if things are going well and you’re both having a good
time.
Laugh, gently touch your ex’s arm, give them a causal punch in the shoulder when you’re
joking with them, make eye contact, etc.
Bring up some happy shared memories and inside jokes.
This will help remind your ex of some of the fun you had together.
If things are going well, don’t hesitate to drop some sexual innuendos and possibly
reference some of the fun you had in bed.
Sexual intimacy is important and if your ex seems receptive, then this is a good chance
to remind them how great your sex life was.
Aside from happy memories and inside jokes, leave the past in the past.
You don’t want to bring up old drama or remind your ex of the problems that led to
the initial breakup.
So, try to steer clear of these topics and instead focus on showing your ex a good time.
Give your ex the impression that your life is awesome.
Don’t be afraid to talk casually about someone you’ve dated since the breakup…
don’t linger on the topic or go into detail, but don’t be afraid to share details about
your awesome love life or your busy social schedule.
Show your ex that you’ve changed for the better… but do so by using actions, not
words…
demonstrate the ‘new you’, and infer that you’ve realized your past mistakes and are
more mature now.
And Finally, Sex
The goal of in-person meeting(s) with your ex is twofold:
1) To get them to think about you again and to foster some nostalgia in the back of their
mind; and 2) To set the stage for physical romance.
Ultimately, sex and physical contact is what differentiates friendship from a romantic
relationship, so it’s important that you move towards this eventual goal.
It’s tempting to just enjoy your time together and then allow yourself to fall into the ‘friend
zone’, especially if your ex isn’t looking to get back together with you (yet).
So, while you may not be able to bring your ex back to your house and into bed after just
one meeting, that should still be your ultimate goal.
Continue to ramp up your flirting, drop more innuendos, and reference past sexual encounters
with your ex until he or she gets the message and accepts your advances.
And once you do finally win back your ex’s heart, make sure you get things right this
time… hopefully you’ll never have to go through another breakup!
Unfortunately I’ve run out of time here for this video, but I know there are lots
of “what if” questions that I may not have covered… if you’re looking for a
comprehensive guide to walk you through the process of winning back your ex and rebuilding
a new life together, consider investing in my Ex Factor Guide program, which is a complete
step-by-step system that leaves no stone unturned.
You can grab a copy at my website, again the address is www.BreakupBrad.com
Thanks very much for watching this video… hopefully you learned a few helpful things,
and if so, please click the “like” button or subscribe to my YouTube channel for more
videos.
Thanks again for watching, and best of luck!