10 Style Rules Your Dad Didn't Teach You [0:00:00]
How a man dresses doesn't matter. No! What matters are my skills and that I'm a good
person. So, how many times have you heard those words?
Seriously, if I got a dollar for every time somebody said that in the comments, I would
be a multi-millionaire. Now, let me be clear. I want to agree with
those words, but the problem is, reality, it doesn't care what you want.
No. The reality is that human beings are visual creatures that use heuristics to make quick
decisions. What this means is we use an imperfect process that takes patterns, our history,
things we've experienced in the past and we try to make future decisions based off that.
Now, are these decisions always correct like a well-dressed man is successful? No, of course
not. But, this has helped get us pretty far in life and it's something that we're going
to continue to do because, again, it saves us cognitive energy.
So, rule number one that your father should have taught you is that style matters. Image
and presentation matter a lot. Often times, more than what you say and initially more
than even what you know. In today's video, gents, we're talking about
style rules your father should have taught you.
[Music] Now, gents, I'm going to re-emphasize that
first point. You've got to give a damn about style, because if you don't care, you're not
going to take the steps to actually improve your image.
Now, this takes me to rule number two. What matters when it comes to style? So, I break
it into three parts. You have the physical image and this is your clothing, this is your
accessories, this is the way that you adorn yourself, your grooming.
But, right with that, we've got mannerisms. This is going to be your body language. This
is going to be the way that you move. This is going to be basically how do you control
your body, your posture. All of these things go into what people perceive to be a good
presentation. Because, again, you can have a $2,000 suit
on and it could fit you, but if you've got really bad posture, if you carry yourself
like a slouch like someone that's intimidated, all of a sudden you're going to lose the power
of that image. And the third part of your style is your speech,
the way that you project your voice, the way that you speak. I mean, I'm sure you've seen
this, a guy that looks the part has presence walks into a room and opens his mouth and
all of a sudden his credibility falls because the way that he speaks.
And I'm not just saying that he has a particular lisp or he's got some disability, I'm saying
he just can't put two words together without throwing in a crutch. The guy hasn't thought
through. He doesn't -- hasn't practiced speaking. I had a good friend in the military, he was
an O3, and every time he opened his mouth he lost credibility because he sounded like
a Valley Girl, every other word was the word, like.
It just sounded so bad, it didn't matter that he was an incredibly smart individual that
had important things to say. Most of us were kind of just laughing because it was comical.
My point is, style is a lot more than just image. Image is one part. You also have to
get those mannerisms down and pay attention to the way that you speak. And if it's that
bad, find ways to improve it. Next up, don't just talk the talk, but walk
the walk. And what I mean by that is take action. Start to practice dressing well. Because
you may have all this information up here, you may have watched hundred of my videos,
read magazines, read books, but that knowledge is just knowledge stuck up in your head. You
need to actually put it into action. In fact, if you've watched more than a few
of my videos here at Real Men Real Style, you know I am all about practice. And what
happens when you start off when you're first practicing?
Well, you're unfamiliar, you're making mistakes, but still you are learning, you're taking
action in the right direction. And in fact, I'll use myself as an example here at Real
Men Real Style. It's not like I came out in my mother's womb knowing a whole lot about
style. I'm self-taught. I didn't go to school. And
what I focused in on is just simply getting started and every single day getting a one
percent improvement because over a year, you will be 38 times better at the end of the
year. That's compound interest. That's you investing in yourself and finding something
that you want to learn more about. A specific example here, watches. Five years
ago, I didn't even wear a watch. Nowadays, you will never find me not wearing a watch
on my wrist. In fact, I've got a tan line to prove it.
But, seriously, the story is five years ago I had a company The 5th Watches reach out
to me, send me a watch. I started wearing a watch on a daily basis, you know what? I
liked it. All of a sudden, I enjoyed being able to check my wrist for time.
And I started to develop a relationship with watches. I started finding more interest in
them, so I started doing research, started reading about them. I wrote an entire ebook,
next, you know, I'm making videos. I'm putting out tons of information helping men choose
the right of the watch for them, what fits their lifestyle, the right size for their
wrist. The point is get started, take action, and look to improve every day.
Now, today's video, gents, is sponsored by The 5th Watches. And right here, I'm wearing
their Luminary Champagne Auto. Now, gents, if you haven't been over to The
5th Watches website for a while, you are going to be in for a surprise. These guys have really
upgraded, they've improved a lot over the last few years. And what I love is they've
got a Swiss made collection. This watch right here just absolutely beautiful.
I love the dimensions, I love just the really muted look. For me, I've got a lot of bold
watches, so I wanted something that's just going to actually work with my tones and this
one does. This watch right here just looks beautiful.
[0:05:00] So, this watch also has turn brushed lugs,
a hand polished belly case, sapphire crystal, and glow-in-the-dark super-luminova hands
and indices. And let's talk about that movement. That's
a 26 joule Swiss made automatic movement in there. It's also got a really nice Italian
leather strap that just looks great with the watch. And check out that see-through case
back. And notice the strap has this latch right here that makes it easily interchangeable.
Another watch I had sent to me, this Crisp White in steel. What I like about this watch
is the simplicity of the dial. This is a watch that you can dress up, you can dress it down.
You've got that steel band, so it's going to be tough.
Now, this watch as you can see the black steel is a bit more casual. Again, right in the
dial, notice we've got those numbers in there. Those indicators right there just make it
a bit more of a field watch. Still the steel overall the very clean look is something I
could pull this off with a sports jacket. But, definitely, this watch is going to be
a bit more casual because of that dark colored dial.
And if you want an affordable chronograph, check out their Vesper in the London Collection.
So, this is a versatile classic design featuring a 60-second stopwatch function and has both
a 30-minute and 24 counting sub-dial. If you think you know what The 5th Watches
is about, you're probably wrong. Go over and check them out, guys. I'm linking to them
down in the description with the best deal, again, you're going to find out there on the
web. So, use that link, go take advantage of this
deal. It's not going to be around forever. Again, the details right down there in the
description of today's video. The next style rule your dad should have taught
you, dress the body you have, not the body you wish you have.
Yes, I know you plan on losing 20 to 30 pounds or gaining 20 to 30 pounds of muscle. Point
being, make sure the clothing that you own fits you. And it's better to own less and
to make sure it fits you well, than have a closet full of clothing that's way too big
or worst case way too small. Most guys don't wear clothing that's too tight.
We're just conscious of it and it doesn't feel good, it gets, yeah, it's just hard to
do. But, clothing that's too loose, this is an epidemic and now it's even a fashion trend.
Be careful of this. You want to wear clothing that offsets your
let's just say less desirable features. If you have a big stomach, you're going to want
to wear clothing that's going to build up the shoulders. That's why jackets or even
shirts with epaulets, long sleeve shirts that actually don't draw attention to your, you
know, your kind of flabby forms. It's not going to hide everything. Nothing
is going to make a large man look skinny. That being said, you can look large and in
charge versus fat and sloppy. And that's what I -- I aim towards is to help you understand
how can you wear clothing that's going to make you look good today.
Now, of course, work to get in great shape. Work to build on more muscle to lose that
fat. But, until that day happens, wear clothing that's going to make you look your best.
Now your dad should have also taught you about the style pyramid. What? He didn't? Gosh!
Guys, show him my videos. And I really try to make this simple because if you nail these
three things, you are so far ahead of most people.
You know the Pareto Principle that 20% yields you the 80%? This is the 20% of style that
will yield you the 80% if your clothing fits you, which we just talked about dressing for
your body, if you choose the right fabric. And what I mean by this is quality made clothing
that drapes on your body and just makes you look good and that's more than just suits.
That's like actually finding the shorts that have the right inseam length that look good
on making sure that whenever you put on a hat that it frames your face properly, if
you're going to wear a hat, even a baseball cap.
Function is choosing the right piece of clothing for the occasion. So, if you're going into
an interview, but it's a casual company, you don't need to have a suit, but you need to
have clothing that makes you feel good that you feel like a million bucks, so you go in
there and nail the interview. When you're choosing shoes, you want to make
sure that the shoes are going to work with the clothing. There is such a thing as having
too dressy of shoes with too casual clothing. It just looks off. People don't always even
understand what they're feeling or seeing when they see it, but they do feel that something
is off and that's what you don't want. You want your clothing to in a sense if you
nail those three things in the style pyramid, all of a sudden, your clothing is going to
fade into the background and you are going to be able to shine.
Next up, know the code. No, not this one. I'm talking about dress codes. And anyone
that tells you there's no dress code, they're wrong. There's always a dress code, otherwise
you could show up naked. Even at a nude colony, there's a dress code, be naked.
Point being is any place you go there's an expectation of how you dress. Most people
make it actually more difficult because they don't state what it is. And I love dress codes
because when a wedding has a dress code, they are making it very clear what you need to
wear. And this is where it gets confusing because
most guys haven't thought through this and all of a sudden they're not able to navigate
this. How about you take the time to figure out, okay, what is really the dress code for
work, where can I fit in it, and what message do I want to send?
This will be the next rule that I’m going to introduce you to is understand the message
that you want to send the world. And this is where you take a dress code for your company,
let's say, and then you say where do I want to fit in this and what message do I want
to send with my image and presentation. So, you're a lawyer, but you're a lawyer in
a construction firm. Does that mean that you dress like the other construction workers?
No, because this is a multi-million dollar firm and you make sure that everything is
taken care of with the paperwork, so that you guys aren't sued, you protect the company.
[0:10:00] So, you do have a certain type of presentation
you want to put on. You are going to probably be one of the best-dressed guys in that company.
And the CEO may dress down because he's on the job site, but that is not your job to
be on the job site. Your job is to protect the company.
If you're a high level consultant in New York City or you're over in Mumbai, you know, you're
going to probably dress a little bit differently. Why? Because you've got different types of
weather. So, understanding dress codes are oftentimes
affected by your culture, by your location, by the weather, but understand there is a
dress code. And then, think about the image that you want to send the world. Think through
this and put together a uniform, clothing that you can just default to and it sends
that message a professionalism of competence. Whatever your goal may be, understand that
there is a dress code and that there is a uniform that you can have, so you don't have
to think about it, you can just default to it and, yeah, this by the way, great fragrance.
I absolutely love this one. Now, gents, if you're enjoying today's video,
do me a favor, smash that like button. Show the algorithm who's boss. Seriously, guys,
when you interact with these videos, when you leave a comment down below letting me
know how I’ve messed up, how you would have added this point to the video.
I love hearing from you guys and I love interacting down below, but it also helps the videos do
well. So, if for nothing else, do it for the algorithm.
Next up, spending money does not make you stylish. It doesn't matter if the clothing
you own, the watches, the -- all that stuff is super expensive, if you don't wear it with
confidence, if it doesn't fit you, if it doesn't suit the needs at the time, all of a sudden
it will lose a lot of its power. And, again, I've talked about why fit is so
important. I have seen guys in multi-thousand dollar suits that didn't fit them and it looks
horrible versus a guy that was able to get a suit that was thrifted and he made sure
it fit him, guess what? He was -- he looked amazing.
Money does not buy style, but money can help expedite the process because you can get a
custom clothier. If you've got more time, but not a whole lot of money, like I know
a lot of students do, then in that case, go ahead and put in that time. You'll be able
to save on the money. But, if you don't have much time, be prepared
to spend more money, but, again, have that higher expectations, find the best menswear
store in your area. Just go in and work with a professional, who can help direct you where
you can have something that looks amazing. And that's when money can I think improve
style, but by itself, don't think that if you spend more, you're necessarily going to
get more. Next up, dress how you expect to be treated.
So, you're taking your wife out for an anniversary, you're taking your girl out, you are going
to have a great time. Well, dress the part. Look like a man.
If you dress like a boy, you're going to be treated like a boy. You walk in and you are
looking good, people call you sir. And you guys know what I'm talking about. In fact,
if you've had this happen to you, let me know down in the comments, so that we can reinforce
and show other guys that this is real. Just the other day, I'm in a store and I was
asked, “Oh, do you work here?” And it was I thought actually a nice thing because
I was actually dressed well. I wasn't actually pushing a cart, I had a few things in my arm.
So, I see where the mistake happened. Point being is I would rather look like a
person in charge and be mistaken for a person in charge than be mistaken as somebody that
shouldn't be there, somebody that they don't want to associate with.
Dress in the way that you want to be treated and amazingly, many times people will treat
you that way. Next up, own your clothing, don't rent it.
Pretty simple, right? That being said, if that bridezilla really wants orange tuxedos,
do not buy that, instead, either opt out of the wedding or swallow your pride.
The next style rule your father should have taught you, life has seasons, so don't be
afraid if your style is going to evolve. In fact, when you're younger, experiment, have
fun. I had a friend in college, Scotty Jay. The
guy would go from cowboy to preppy to Goth. He changed every single year, every few months
his style changed. And I'm not saying that, you know, we actually kind of made fun of
it. But, he still went out there and tried it.
Point being is you're not going to know unless you try it. And as you get older, again, your
style continues to evolve. Maybe not as fast, but you may say, “You know what? My hair
is changing color.” Maybe you lose your hair. Okay, maybe change
the image. Especially as your skin your hair starts to change in colors as you get older,
definitely, you're going to find you're going to go towards different colors.
But, even young men can find that, you know what? I've got kids now and I know for me,
I’ve defaulted to darker clothing. Why? Well, dirty little hands don't stain as much
on darker clothing, so it's just something I go to.
Yes, at some point, I will start wearing white shirts and a lot of light-colored clothing
again. Life has seasons and don't be afraid to move with them and let your style evolve.
Next up, we've got imitation. And this is where you're looking at the outfit combinations
these guys are putting together and you are copying. It does help if they've got the same
complexion because it's going to give you a similar feel, a similar look. But, you don't
have to stick with that. And a lot of people are worried, well, if
I do this, people are going to notice that I’m copying George Clooney that I'm copying
Chris Pine's look. No, nobody is going to notice.
Maybe Harry Styles, if you copy some of his looks because they're a little bit outlandish
and crazy. Yes, somebody would pick up, but you could choose one piece. And that's why,
you know, you walk in the stores and you're like, you know, I like that statement piece.
I like what he did there, I'm going to find a way to copy it to imitate it.
And believe me, whenever you do this, you build -- what you're doing is you're building
up confidence and you're starting to by taking action learn. And then, after you've done
this for a while, all of a sudden, you start to experience self-realization.
And that's where you start to just feel what is your style. You start to know, hey, I gravitate
towards this. This is when I put it on, I feel like a million bucks. And all of a sudden,
you start to understand what image you want to project.
And, again, within sticking with it maybe bounds at work, understanding, okay, I am
wanting to project this image, but I want to have a little bit fun. I want to go with
something a bit edgy. And this is where a person really can start to develop their own
personal style. All right, gents. So, if you enjoyed today's
video, you're going to love this one, 11 skills I wish my father would have taught me. So,
like a lot of you guys, I didn't really have a father figure growing up.
And in this video, I share with you the skills I wish I would have learned as a young man.
And if even if you're an older guy, you're going to love this video. So, check it out,
guys, 11 skills I wish my father would have taught me.
[0:15:45] End of audio