*Mark giggles* Don't let the-
M: Like... no like - no it's not gonna - that's not funny...
*Ethan giggles*
M: Don't let the door hit ya where the... goo bit ya.
E: Whoo... fuck!
M: I told you! I warned you! It wasn't funny!
E: Very bad!
M: I warned you!
E: Very bad.
M: Alright.
M: Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier,
and welcome back to Mario Kart.
I'm in Ethan's apartment taking over his whole recording station
M: Uh... like I do.
So uh... we're gonna get into it.
We just got done with the video over on his channel.
So you can check that out; link in the description.
Umm, we're doing 50 cc!
E: Yeah!
gonna do better gonna win every game.
M: It's a big-ass juxtaposition between 50 cc and, uh...
fuckin' this one-
*Both giggle*
E: What?
M: Or 200 CC and fuckin' THIS one!
E: Fuckin' this one!
E: 50 cc is muuuuch faster.
M: Yeah.
My - my - problem with it
I - I did toad last time.
But I - I didn't change up the setup.
'Cause Toad's all about speed,
that's why I could never catch up to you because I was all about acceleration.
But Toad...
It doesn't work that way.
You gotta have -
You gotta max out your speed.
E: Rookie mistake.
Rookie mistake.
M: True dat.
E: Ready for the ride of your life?
M: Yeah
Yeah, I think I am.
Okay, which one you wanna do?
E: Uh... any of them...
that we haven't done yet.
M: *Lip noises*
M: Ahh... ooohhh!
I could do that!
E: Yeah! I love eggs!
..... *Awkward silence* .....
Egg cup~ *gestures to the screen*
*giggling*
E: Do you not understand? M: I love aah - eggs!
E: Do you not understand?
M: No! I get it! You know, I get it!
Like - like a lot of jokes that go around at Markiplier HQ.
I get it!
*giggling* I just don't feel the need to laugh at it.
E: *chuckling* It wasn't even a joke!
*Mark laughs* I was just like it's "Egg cup" and I was like, aww! I love eggs!
*Mark continues to laugh*
M: This is such - this is such an honest, like, statement.
You're like "Hey, I'm gonna present my - my love of eggs to Mark here-
E: *softly* eggs.
M: -and I hope he reciprocates."
*Both giggle*
*Ethan exhales*
M: Oh boy...
E: You don't share the love of eggs -
Oh I fucked it.
E: No I didn't! M: No you did good man!
E: Oohhh! M: You did good man!
M: You gotta believe in yourself more.
E: Yeah. M: Ohh it's so slow! E: Ah hell yeah-
M: Hey buddy!
E: Hey! How's it going? M: Urrgghhh I'm gonna drift off you!
E: Ohhhhh yee M: Fuck, did I fuck these up again?
M: Ahhhh! E: Ohhh got 'em!
M: Y-you backward shitting piece of shit. :D E: Hahaha
E: HOUGH. M: You metal lady...
E: Have you ever felt the rush of a green shell pop outta your ass? *giggles*
Into another soul?
M: You know, I can't say honestly I have.
M: But I guess when we're shooting them forward,
M: we're shooting them out of our dick with that same logic so... E: Mmhmm.
M: That *chuckles* have you ever sounded a Koopa Shell? *both giggle and laugh*
E: Sounding...
M: I - I had to explain sounding to Ethan!
M: From H3H3! E: Really?
M: Like, if there was ever a guy, and
I don't know *giggles* this is says about Ethan, but I'm like
I just expected him to know what sounding was!
E: Wait, sound-sounding is similar to docking, right?
M: ? I guess... Sounding is when you just stick things down your ur-EETH-ra
E: Yeah... yeah yeah yeah
So it's like docking but without another dick. M: Yeah.
M: W-you are WAY way, way ahead.
E: I've got the speed on my siiddee.
M: How the frick do you d-d-do that?
E: I don't know, you just gotta be... lady with skills like me.
M: Leaded with skills?? E: No, LADY with skills. M: Oh, sorry.
E: Yeah yeah yeah M: I was wrong.
E: mmmm. M: I doesn't help that I'm hitting every fucking banana!
E: But he didn't - he didn't - did he know about docking?
M: I didn't ask him, *both giggle* it didn't come up in the conversation, oddly enough.
M: You know, but it was super weird like, you didn't expect anybody - uhhh like... like
M: I loved going on that podcast, by the way, because I love any opportunity to just
talk about how weird YouTube is with YouTube people. E: *laughs* I literally thought that you were going to say:
"I love any opportunity to talk about myself."
*both laugh* XD
M: I mean that too, y'know that too, no...
M: but like i-i-it's a, it was just a really like cool conversation to have with, um...
with, y'know with these guys that I respect so much, and
i-it's, it's just fun because it's, it's a... it is a WEIRD job that we have.
E: Yeah. M: It's weird what we do, and uhh...
You gotta take enjoyment where you can out of it, and not take it too seriously all the time.
E: Mmhmm. Mmmhmm. M: Which is a mistake that a lot of people do, they take YouTube WAY too seriously E: Yeah
M: Like, as if it's a competition, as if it's, like...
Uh, people are - actually, what's weird is that in this last year, it's turned into more of a celebrity-fest...
then it has... like, it used to be like, y'know, there was always a little bit of celebrity status here and there, but uhh, lately
- oh you got, you got a whole lot of 'FUCK YOU' coming your way E: Oh no!
M: You got a like a legendary amount of 'FUCK YOU' - E: Oh NO!... OHH NOO!!
M: *laughs* E: that was two in a row
M: I don't think it's gonna impede your lead though, you are just BLAZING past everybody. E: Oh yeah...
M: How are you so fucking far ahead?
E: I don't know. I don't know. M: Yeah?
E: *sighs* I've got so much skills in me. *sudden realization* This is still first map. I feel like we've been playing for years.
M: *laughs* I mean we've been having a good 'ol time here... E: Oh yeah... *even quieter* oh yeah.
M: Gandering... talking about goo a lot...
E: mmhmm M: Talking abou- E: No, we're not making any goo jokes this time.
M: Oh okay E: None, none M: *laughs* E: It was YOUR decision!!
E: YOU are the one that said "No goo!"! M: If anybody's been following this chain of- of uhh... I hit you with a red shell
after you'd gone through there, I just wanted you to know that. E: I did better
M: Yeah if anyone has been following *laugh* the goo thread, the trail of gooooo *laughs harder* *both laugh*
E: THE TRAIL OF GOO! How do you find - if you want to find out where either Mark or I live M: *laughs*
E: Just follow- follow the goo! * XD * It'll lead you straight to us. M: *laughs harder*
M: *laughs harder* Both: Oooof. E: Funny M: Oh yeah
E: *breathes out. M: It's actually disgusting, if you think about it. E: I really, really- M: I can't tell what the analogy is anymore!! *giggles*
E: It's up for interpretation. M: It's a ubiquitous goooo~ could be anything. E: Could be any kinda goo.
M: And it rapidly deteriorated to semen... E: *Sigh* M: And - but, now I'm not sure.
E: Maybe to you, get your mind out of the gutter. M: I'm SORRY.
E: *three short exhales*
E: Okay, okay, okay. M: I'm not sorry. E: Here we go, here we go, here we go. (Satellite Radio) M: *giggles*
E: Gotta get myself in the game, huff. Game face, Game face, game face.
M: You think you're slay some puss when you beat 50 cc? *giggles*
E: Dude... All the puss
E: Like, did you see how many ladys were in my apartment
when you walked in?
M: No.
E: Yeah, that's because you can't see em'.
*Both laughs*
M: They're invisible?
E: The're invisible, dude.
M: NO!
*Ethan laughs* M: Oh that was for you, okay you're fine.
*Both laugh*
M: I thought that was coming my way.
E: No I'm NOT fine!
M:*Laughs* I don't care about that! E: HEUUGH...
M: I was just worried about myself.
E: This is spooky!
*giggles*
E: This is spooky trails.
E: Urg, I don't like this. M: Yeah,
E: i don't like this
E: *blows air*
E: Back at what we were talking about. What were we talking-
M: Just the-the difference between goo and semen. *laughs*
E: Oh yeah
M: And how much puss you're gonna slay. E: Yeah *Giggle*
E: OH yeah!
E: Because I'm a Youtube celebrity!
*Mark laughs* E: Right?!
E: That's exactly what we were talking about.
M: Yeah, that's how it works man, that's how it works.
E: *weird noise* NO, I didn't use it... close enough.
*Mark laughs*
*Ethan sighs*
M: Man, the tables turned.
M: I am now in the winner.
E: Yeah? M: Oh, uh oh...
E: Well, uh ...ou've got another thing coming- M: AHH! Muh A-SSS!! E: up, BUCKAROO.
E: *weird chuckles*
M: My BUCK! It's been ROO'd!
*Giggles*
E: It's been ROO'd?
*Mark laughs*
E: Oh no. Oh no..
M: Your mom comes over to talk to you about your.... *Giggles*
*Mark giggles*
M: No i'm not gonna finish that one. E: What?
E: What is my mom coming over to talk about?
E: What is it my mom flying all the way from Maine to come over to talk to me about?
E: An issue SO pressing,
M: *laughs* I don't wanna- i don't wanna cover that topic. E: S-She feels....
M: She's gotta come over and talk to you about your *weird voice* weird GOO!!!!
*Both laugh*
M: I Just imagine, Yo, Yo, Cause I know-
M: I know your grandma *giggles* watches, like, a lot of these videos.
E: Yeahhhh...(weird noise)
M: *Giggles, then inhales* And I just like... I think back to the "Grandma's
M: Goo Recipe™" and I'm just so sorry!
E: * BIGGGG INHALE*
E: WAIT- GRANDMA'S ......OOOOHHHHH noooo
E: THAT one.... Was that on my channel or your channel??
E: I mean, it doesn't even matter, because she watches BOTH of our channels!!
M: Oh she's such a dedicated fan..
E: SHE IS..
M:SHES SO SWEET
E: SHE IS!
E: She watches each of our videos every single day.
M: Yeah..
E: all of em.
M: I met her, she was the nicest.
E: Yeahh...
E: She was asking you ALL sorts of questions..
*Weird Markiplier grunting noise*
E: She was so excited!
M: You're crawling up my ass here.
E: Aww yeah. Get ready, Get ready, Get ready
M: *The famous Mark grunt talk* I'm not ready.
E: I'M READY, I'M READY, *UM.. weird noise??* Awhhhhhhhh YEAHHH~
M: Yeah, AHHA!! GET BLOCKED, dick.
E: Noooo! ....
M: YEAH, that's right, i know the mad skillz with the blocking GREEENSS! E: *purring or moaning*
M: oh FUCK yeah, get back there.
E: OooOooOo M: OOOOOOO!!!
E: this goo only went to one side of me!
M: Oh, yeah, thats weird
E: Thats nice! Only one eye!!
*Both Giggling*
M: He's running low on goo!
E: Running low...
M: WE GOTTA HELP HIM
*Ethan sighing, Mark giggling* E: -Rejuvenate that gooo.
M: Just like Goku with the spirit bomb,
M: you gotta' lend your...
M: Lend Goku your GOO.
E: Lend him my GOO. M: Do you remember when he-
he did, like, the spirit bomb in, like,
every episode? E: I never watched Dragon Ball!
M: Really! E: NAU!
M: Wha-
M: What the fuck? *both laughing*
E: NAU! Never!
M: It's IMPASSBLE!
E: It'z naht passblee fur me t'wach Dragun Ball!
*Giggling*
E: Yeah, no, I never wa- I watched like, an episode here or there, but I never like WATCHED it-
M: Just- watch DBZ Abridged. (Seriously, do it. It's awesome) Like- E: Okay.
M: You'll get the whole story... and you'll laugh way harder along the way.
E: Mhm
M: But, like, in appreciation of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z... and now Dragon Ball Super
Which I- I'm fascinated that I'm still watching Dragon Ball Super...
CUZ', I really didn't- E: Still watching it to this day?
M: Yeah well, they're coming out with new episodes with Dragon Ball Super 'cus it started it back up like three years ago,
M: *burp* And I've been watching
*both laughing*
E: *mockingly fake burps* M:*still laughing*
M: I've been watching, like, and I'm actually shocked because I did not think that I was going to be watching it
But-
It's not GOOD, but it's just like- Hey! It's just like more Dragon Ball.
E: It's not bad either?
M: Yeah, it's not... it's not the worst that it could be.
E: Hmm
M:There are a lot worse fates then what happened to TV shows that went on way to long.
E: *mumbling* Yeah...
M: Which- Speaking of which, I NEED to watch ALLL of The Simpsons.
E: Do you though?
M: I do! Yeah I REALLY do because - I've never actually watched...
Like, sat down and like, plowed through all of the episodes. E: Mhm.
E: Did you ever watch it, like when it was in its prime?
M: I tried *sigh*
Um. Not in it's prime, definitely
but like, I tried to catch up on episodes when I could
But TV was never, like a big thing in our household,
like even before the days of Netflix.
E: Yeah. M: Please tell me that that hit you E: nope :) M: Fuuuuuuccckkkk! God dammit!
E: Nuthin, nothing-noooOOOOooo..
*mark laughs* E: You stole my swole...
M: I would never. E: You stole my s w o l e-
E: I would never take that from you.
E: Oh, you've got another thing coming.. M: Oh, FUCK. NO-ho, you can have first! *laughs*
E: *Raspy laugh* HEUUGH... M: Fuckin' hell, fucking blue shell p-
M: WOAH. O.O
That green shell, like, daaah- danced around me.
E: *whispering* dance, dance, dan-dance for me, monkey-man...
M: I'm a TOAD, thank you- Err, no, I'm NOT even a toad, I'm a fucking mushroom.
Err, no, I'm a HUMAN with a mushroom infecting my brain.
E: Ooooh... M: According to the Game Theory™.
E: Is that yo- Matpat's Game Theory™? M: Matpat, yeah.
M: According to Maatpaat...
M: And a laaarrge subset of the interneetttt....
E: (A la Roz from Monster's INC) I'm always waatchinngg.....
*A long, drawn-out, uncomfortable silence*
M: 'kay..? *both laughing* Anyway, back to MY thing.. beeeoooooo! Get hit!
M: Get hit!
*gets hit* E: NOOOooo. Was that a green shell? M: Ha-ha, those green shells, babeh!
M: BONGF. E: FUck.
E:Noooo
*Both giggling*
E: *deep inhale* BOOOMP M: I've never
actually hit someone with that thing
E: You've never hit anyone with that M:No
I probably should've saved that for another *giggle* blue shell
M: But uh was too satisfying man
E: I dont think rid of it with a blue shell M: Yeah, no
That is actually THE blue shell get ridder thing
M: The horn yeah thats
exactly what its meant for E: *pleased* the horn
M: eeeeehhh fuck
M: lap 2 godddammit E: are we really only on lap 2
M: yeeea wee are *mark noises*
*blowing noises??* *other sounds idk*
M:alright alright alright alright thats fine thats fine
M: no no non oo nonono no non no non no no no
E: im gonna getcha im gonna getcha, ReAdY
E: GeT gOt?? ohohohohHOH
M:Get gotten
E: i gotcha M: all of my got
E:???
M: *confused laugh*
something about gorgeous Locks of hair idk
M:aah aahh you got income
wooah ah NOOOoo
M:see it works!
E: yeah no dammit akdsufh fuck
E:*moans* we are so close to the end too
*mark noises*
M: no you cant you cant beat this
E: shiiii NO
M: This was fun. Uhhh. We're gonna go on tour after this. E: Yeah. M: Literally that's the next thing we're doing E: Well,
E: I mean by the time that this comes out we're probably there. M: Yeah, probably. E: Or done.
M: Yeah. So check out Ethan's stuff in the description below
{Outro starts playing silently} M: We already did a video before this so I'll put a link to that as well. And,
thank you everybody so much for watching. And as always we will see you, in the next video. Buy-bye! E: Bye!
ALSO ETHAN SAYS SUCK MY DICK WHOLE
IM A STRANGER DONT READ ME M: Don't let the door hit ya where the... goo bit ya.