[BURNIE]: One of the most beloved video games of all time
is Mario Kart.
And for good reason.
It has everybody's favorite Nintendo characters
battling it out in suped-up go karts.
The most important part of the game:
Handling your kart.
Which got us thinking --
we all know that if you press the gas pedal
just the right moment during the green light,
-- you get a boost.
But that wouldn't happen in real life.
And what about one of these things?
A banana peel isn't going to make a REAL car skid out in the REAL world. (exaggerated laugh)
Or would it?!
[IMMERSION THEME PLAYS.]
[BURNIE]: So, we've come out to our original Immersion test track
to run not ONE, but two tests today.
In the first test, we're going to find out exactly when the driver would need to hit the gas
to get that perfect green light start.
And in the second test --- Welp. We're going to figure out just how many banana peels we need
to spin out a real life Mario Kart.
Okay, let's get to it.
First test:
The perfect launch.
In Mario Kart, there's three different possibilities for the start of the race.
You can either wait until the light turns green,
hit your gas, and get a normal slow acceleration out of the gate.
Or -- the moment your car appears, you can jam on the gas,
-- BUT, when the light turns green, you're just going to end up skidding out.
The best scenario in the game is the last one.
Wait until just before the light turns green, hit the gas --
You'll get that PERFECT Mario Kart boost.
In our experiment today, Gavin is going to be simulating
all three different scenarios.
Our first scenario is our controlled round.
Gavin is going to wait until the light turns green -- then he's going to hit the gas.
He should get a normal racing start.
[MARIO KART THEME PLAYS. ]
[GAVIN]: Hi, Lindsay!
[LINDSAY]: 'Sup?
[GAVIN]: ULTIMATE SPEEEED!
WHEEEEEE!
[BURNIE]: Okay, in this next scenario,
Gavin is going to try to floor the gas from the very beginning.
Now, the only way that we can actually simulate this
in real life is to have two of our scientists drop
the rear wheels at the beginning of the race.
That will allow Gavin to give the car as much gas as possible
without actually moving it.
[GAVIN]: Oh, my GOD --
(excited hollering)
WOOHOO!
[GAVIN]: I'm Luigi. Number one.
Innit.
[BURNIE]: Okay, well not only did Gavin not spin out,
but he actually beat his time during the controlled experiment.
In the third scenario which we're going to try right now
Gavin is going to wait until just before his wheels hit the ground,
he's going to hit the gas and -- that should simulate that sweet spot that's in the video game
that gives him that perfect Mario Kart boost.
[LINDSAY]: Good luck!
[GAVIN]: (excited screaming)
I think I nailed it!
I think I nailed it!!
Well, I'm not going to lie, I think I nailed it.
I think my wheels were spinning before they hit the ground,
but not before I was dropped.
So, I think it was great.
Something about this go-kart -- I can't drive it without shouting 'woohoo'.
Which is something that I need to work on.
[MICHAEL]: IT'S-A ME!!
(groans)
[GAVIN]: Hi, Michael!
[BURNIE]: Alright, well that's our three rounds of the boost start.
We have our results.
Before we reveal them, let's go see Michael's experiment.
Alright, Michael -- nice overalls, by the way.
[MICHAEL]: Thank you.
[BURNIE]: You are a seasoned Mario Kart-ist, is that correct?
[MICHAEL]: Absolutely.
[BURNIE]: Alright, well, what is your favorite special item to use in the game?
[MICHAEL]: --- Red shell.
[BURNIE]: (laughs) No, you can't test that.
That would be --- impossible.
[MICHAEL]: Green shell?
[BURNIE]: No, that's pretty much the same thing.
No, you can't do that, either.
[MICHAEL]: Blue shell?
[BURNIE]: How do you feel about banana peels?
[MICHAEL]: They suck.
[BURNIE]: Well, what a coincidence, because we're going to be testing to see
how many banana peels it's going to take to spin out your Mario kart.
[MICHAEL]: Oh, so it's a Mario thing?
[BURNIE]: Yeah, it's a Mario thing.
[MICHAEL]: Okay! I thought it was M for Michael!
[BURNIE]: (laughs) No!
[MICHAEL]: Is it not?
[BURNIE]: There's a whole theme with this thing which is video games.
Well, what is your prediction? How many banana peels do you think we'll need to spin this kart out?
[MICHAEL]: I think there's no way we have enough banana peels.
[BURNIE]: -- I guess we're about to find out.
Why don't you gear up in your safety gear, mount up, and then let's
do this, okay?
[MICHAEL]: This thing's half made of plastic!
[BURNIE]: Nah, it's fine.
In the game, it's made of pixels!
You'll be good.
[MICHAEL]: In the game, they die.
[BURNIE]: -- Okay!
For our first lap, we're going to try to emulate just the way it is in the game.
Gus, what do we got out there?
[GUS]: The first turn, we got one banana.
In the straight-a-way: three bananas.
And then, final turn: one last banana.
[BURNIE]: So he's going to face a total of five bananas --
Lindsay is ready on the starting line.
Alright! Here we go.
[GUS]: And he's off!
[BURNIE]: He's heading into the first turn. This is one banana.
[GUS]: Looks absolutely disgusting in slow motion.
[BURNIE]: That is pretty freaking gross.
Now he's heading into the straight-a-way.
There's three bananas here.
[GUS]: --- And, nothing.
[BURNIE]: Nah, I wasn't expecting much.
And the last banana, of course.
[GUS]: Took out a cone, though?
[BURNIE]: I think that's 'cause he's an asshole.
[GUS]: He aimed for it, I think.
[BURNIE]: What did we learn from the first lab?
We basically learned that Nintendo is --
well, they're basically a bunch of liars.
Gus, what do we have for lab two?
[GUS]: So here in lab two, we went ahead and increased everything by a factor of ten.
At the first turn, we got ten bananas.
[BURNIE]: Ten bananas.
[GUS]: Straight-a-way -- thirty bananas.
[BURNIE]: Thirty bananas.
[GUS]: Final turn -- ten more bananas.
[BURNIE]: Ten more -- so that is some amount of bananas that I should be able to add up in my head.
[GUS]: Fifty.
[BURNIE]: Let's see how he does.
Alright, Michael's ready for the second lap!
Here we go!
[GUS]: He's really taking off.
[BURNIE]: Yeah, he seems to be a little over-confident for the first lap.
He's going pretty fast.
[GUS]: Yeah, he's ramping up speed now.
[BURNIE]: Here's the straight-a-way -- thirty bananas.
[GUS]: Really starting to go --
[BURNIE]: Yeah, he's going really too fast.
[GUS]: Way too fast.
[GUS]: Woah, woah --
[GUS & BURNIE]: WOAH, HEY --
[Operatic singing]
[BURNIE]: ---- Gus, you killed him.
I'm pretty sure you killed him.
Luckily, he landed directly on his shoulder.
That's the most cushioned part of the body.
"You alright, buddy?"
[MICHAEL]: Yeah, I'm good.
[BURNIE]: He appears to be okay.
[MICHAEL]: Sorry about that.
[BURNIE]: (groans) I'm disappointed.
He did crash, but I feel like the reason he crashed wasn't
because of the bananas. It was because he drives like a fucking idiot.
We're going to need a lot more bananas.
[GUS]: We got it covered.
[BURNIE]: How do we have it covered? How are we going to get enough banana peels to spin out a Mario kart?
[BARBARA]: Peach has got it!
[BURNIE]: Wha--
[BURNIE]: Where the hell did you get all those?
[GUS]: Well, we KNEW the internet would be upset if we wasted food,
so what we did was we got everyone in the office to eat nothing but bananas
for a week.
[BANANA MONTAGE.]
[BURNIE]: You know, in hindsight, that seems a little --
exploitive.
[GUS]: It's okay, though. Only one person who got potassium poisoning.
[BURNIE]: Oh, that's cool.
Statistically -- that's normal for a workplace.
Alright, well, let's do it.
Let's get these bad boys out in the course.
C'mon!
[GUS]: Sick!
[MICHAEL]: I'm attempting lap number three of the Mario Kart banana test.
Lap number two did not go so well.
Lap number three, however -- I don't think I will flip.
--- As there's a THOUSAND FUCKING BANANAS.
[BURNIE]: Any predictions, Gus?
[GUS]: Spin out.
[BURNIE]: Total spin out.
[MICHAEL]: Considering that this might be my last will and testament --
tell everyone I know to go fuck themselves.
[GUS]: And he's off!
[MICHAEL]: Here we go. Here we go!
Into the naners!
INTO THE NANERS!
FUCKING NANERS!
[GUS]: Looks like he's got a rough ride.
[BURNIE]: (laughing)
[MICHAEL]: OH, SHIT.
SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.
FUUUUUCK!
[BURNIE]: Are we getting our spin out?
[MICHAEL]: Holy shit!
[BURNIE]: HEEY! We got our spin out! Alright!
[GUS]: I told you.
[BURNIE]: It actually delayed him about the same amount of time as it does
in the game.
[GUS]: Yeah.
[BURNIE]: Alright, let's see what Michael has to say about it.
[MICHAEL]: (groaning)
That was, uh ---
-- pretty textbook.
Now, kids -- don't try that at home.
I am a professional.
So, I found out one banana -- okay.
Two bananas: you're fucked.
And like a thousand bananas: that's actually not that bad.
HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT ASSHOLE?
YOU DIDN'T KILL ME, YET, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
[BURNIE]: Alright, well let's go over what we learned today.
Gavin, you were part of the quick-launch test.
How did that work out for you?
[GAVIN]: Pretty well, actually.
My timing was absolutely perfect.
[BURNIE]: Very humble test, as we can tell.
So, what was the absolute best? What was the optimal conditions for hitting the gas?
[GAVIN]: Being dropped, flooring it right before the tire hits the ground.
[BURNIE]: So, just like in Mario, it actually held true to real life.
You want to hit the gas right before the green.
[GAVIN]: And I didn't flip over.
[BURNIE]: You did NOT flip over.
So, Michael -- for your test, we tried to spin you out with one banana peel.
How did that work?
[MICHAEL]: Not very well.
[BURNIE]: No. However, when we added more banana peels ---
[MICHAEL]: A little bit of a problem.
[BURNIE]: That effected you a little bit.
So, here's the problem we're having with your test:
We can't figure out when you flipped over the car --
whether it was because of the bananas or just your shitty go-kart driving.
[MICHAEL]: I mean, I don't think I have to HIT the bananas for the bananas to flip me, right?
Just being there probably caused me to flip.
[BURNIE]: What? Like spectator anxiety or something?
[MICHAEL]: Well, I think they definitely contributed to the flip because I don't see how it could have happened without them.
[BURNIE]: Well, we do have to declare a winner,
and so, for the first time ever --
Mr. Gavin Free is the winner of science.
Well, join us next time on Immersion when Michael will probably break some other part of his body.
If we're lucky.