all right okay all right you don't know
where you're clapping for but I'm here
for it
how's everyone doing good a little bit
about me a little Kyle fact I am from
Missouri I grew up in alright yeah okay
go chiefs
okay this'll be fun well it's too late
they've gone I'm from Missouri I grew up
in a town called Lake tappa Wingo
Missouri you are not from there I would
know if you were and it is all red necks
my family is all rednecks like tap a
wing goes full already my uncle is the
King self-appointed of the rednecks my
uncle has a redneck rule this is true
all of his daughters are named after
different Allman Brothers songs so my
cousins are Jessica and Melissa and
Jessica live at the Beacon Theater 1973
yeah yeah give it up for her she's a
little louder and longer than her
sisters you know kind of bone
I like drinkin sometimes I get a little
too drunk I was at this karaoke night I
got very drunk my friend came up to me
he said this oh he's a black guy that's
not what he said I knew that already
what a reveal though right um he came up
to me goes Kyle you know was a white guy
it's cool if you say that n-word as long
as it's during your karaoke song that's
what he told me dad's my friend I was
drunk I believed him
so I did it and he actually he was very
wrong no one was happy at all I was like
will you told me I could say the n-word
he's like yeah you can't just add it to
a Weezer song
you wouldn't be clapping if you knew
this was real ah I was just like say
ding so we'll you know in say ting so
sometimes people get mad at that joke
people just kind of jump and get mad
real quick sometimes my friend screamed
at me he got so mad because I ate at
chick-fil-a he got so mad I love it I
love chick-fil-a I ate there and he's
like dude you can't eat at chick-fil-a
they hate gay people that's why I said
he was so mad he's like dude you can't
eat there they hate gay people and I'm
just like I can't eat at a place just
because that place hates gay people I
ate dinner at my parents house for years
it sounds like you might need a new
argument that's what this sounds like
my dad's almost 70 he's afraid to let
two meats touch like what are you
talking
so if you want two hot dogs you take
that back to college let's get back
to grad school it's hypothetical my
parents are actually great I feel like I
should say that I was talking my friend
and he told me that to come up with your
porn name your porn star name your porn
names whatever happens in it to come
over there porn star name it's a
combination of the street you grew up on
and your mother's maiden name he said
you take this tree you grew up in your
Mo's maiden name you put together you
got your porn name and mine's more
mine's not good it's like not funny I
wanted a funny one this dumb but does
anyone have like a funny net you kind of
like a guy is nothing it's okay a second
row guy what's your street you grew up
on mother's maiden name porn name
grindstone Johnson
[Applause]
Brooke grindstone Johnson Street damn
that's funny daddy I'm gonna write that
down that one is mine now rhinestone
Johnson I have a really unprofessional
email address there's like a lot of Z's
in 69s and it's just ice it's hard to
give it to someone in a professional
setting because you've got this
unprofessional it's very childish and I
just don't like giving it out it's I
need a more professional like even okay
I'm gonna ask you were nice a grindstone
Johnson do you have like a good normal
person email address yeah that's just my
name what's your name
Jeff's Coates Jeff's Coates yeah how do
you how do you spell that s k ot es Jeff
is that a gmail yeah
so that's your email that's the street
you grew up on and that's your mother's
maiden name good I have liked I have
like the most boring social security
number ever it's so boring
okay look weird Jeff just read this and
we'll get out of here all right this
this bit is over bid is over thank you
guys very much
[Applause]