So what you're saying is I should beat myself with this swan?
[music]
Ok so today we're going to be reviewing a Back Point Massager
products. DAISO, we wish you health and relaxation.
Daiso's the name of the store we got this from,
and health and relaxation is what they wish you!
I see a lot of my coteachers using this, I mean,
it's just normal for them. They're typing at the desk,
and they grab this and they start beating themselves.
I've never actually seen anyone use that before. [really?] Yeah.
My co-teachers have it. But the problem is, if you do this,
like, this is really gentle: it hurts a lot!
See, like, I don't think you're supposed to bang it like that,
because it's got this little tip right here,
I think this is supposed to be, like, Acupressure,
that you're supposed to put on yourself, so you gotta, like,
not bang it, you gotta pull at points, but...
we don't know what to do, so we're worried we're gonna like pull and be like DERP
I don't know, like Korea has this concept of, like, massages have to be
very painful in order for them to be of any benefit to you,
and I don't like that idea.
I think we're just, uhh, we're too North American that way [I think so]
We're used to, like, "relax with the coconut oil on your body as I massage you"
and then in five minutes I'm like BAAGHGHGHGHGHG on the table swallowing my tongue.
That's what I want with my massage.
What I find really sad about this is that usually massages are something that you
do, like, couples or something like that,
you don't really do it to yourself, so like, if you're thinking to yourself,
"oh boy I need a massage, am I gonna ask that girl there?
No, let me just pull out my lonely massager. Ohhh!
LONELY! I'M SO LONELY"
Anyhow, I'm really worried about the pulling of the points here,
how do I know I'm not gonna do damage, like,
if anybody watched Xena Warrior Princess "AIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAIYAI!"
and she knows all the pressure points, how do I know I'm not gonna
paralyze myself or just, like, randomly urinate my pants,
I just got a great visual of Simon at school being like
"I am massaging my back. I have wet my pants!"
If you guys have any tips about this I'd love to know because this is
just really foreign to us. I don't know, I mean...OWWW!
That was a terrible idea! You're not supposed to hit yourself with it!
You're supposed to pull!
But I've seen people doing the beat method [highly inappropriate motion]
You know what? Even if you hit yourself or you pull with this,
it's not a pleasurable experience and I don't feel good right now,
and I'm worried what's gonna happen tomorrow morning
when I wake up and I can't get out of bed.
Well, I think this kinda reminds me of, if you guys have ever watched
Whose Line is it Anyways, it's like an improv show,
You know, when they give you something and you gotta guess what it is,
you almost hit me in the eye with that [oh my god!]
Ok ready Simon? Here's my first one, ready?
HONK! The swan arises from the pond. HONK!
Is that the sound of a swan [I'm pretty sure]
or of a dying baby elephant? [No, I'm pretty sure swans are really awful sounding.]
Batman was legitimately confused as the Riddler has acknowledged
his new feminine side. YOOHOO BATMAN! I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU HOO!
RIDDLE ME THIS!
Simon met his online date, and little did he know that she was horribly disfigured,
because she had one gigantic right ear. DU NU NUN!
That's kind of gross.
EHH! I'm fishing! I'm fishing.
And we've got a big sucker fish here. Alright, got one.
Uhhh, oh it's a it's a thrasher, it's a thrasher,
oh. That's a pretty ugly one let's put it back in the water.
HEYYYYYYYY!
You're beautiful! I'm joking!
You know what this looks like, also?
This is like those birdies that like drink water.
Oh yeah? Ok, ready?
[sounds of bird dipping beak in water]
It's going back for more!
I just hit you in the knee with it.
I think I can make a better sound than you when it comes to the water.
I thoroughly disagree with that.
Ready? [crappy water sound] Ready? [awesome water sound]
Mine's a lot better right? [another awful stupid water sound]
[THE BEST WATER SOUND EVER!]
Ready? Should I start doing this? [again, shameful, shameful representation of water]
OWWWW!
[gong!]