- Let's talk today about the no contact rule,
and I'm sure you all have heard about it.
So what the no contact rule is, how does it work
and why no contact rule is actually
a feminine
rule.
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Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite.
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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everything about the no contact rule that you need to know,
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So let's talk about
what is
a no contact rule.
No contact rule basically means
going no contact with the person that you broken up with.
So maybe after dating, after a relationship,
after the divorce.
And the intention
behind the no contact rule
is usually
to get a person back.
So let me share the two ladies,
which situations doing a no contact rule
is actually very good thing to do
and which situations it does work
and in which situations is actually does not work.
So if you think about
a no conduct rule will work every single time,
let me tell you this now, you are wrong.
So in this video, I will give you seven explanations
about the no contact rule.
What is a no contact rule, when does it work
when it doesn't work, when you should do it,
when you should not do it, who does it work on
and who it does not work on.
Rule number one.
Why do people love so much of this no contact rule?
Why does everyone go crazy about it?
Well, let me give you an example.
If for example, you have been in a relationship
and things were not working out
and you guys ended up breaking up with each other
and you, for example, go no contact on a guy.
So after a breakup, you don't stay in touch,
you don't stay friends,
you don't stay friends with benefits.
You basically
cut the person off
and you start to move on with your life.
Then your ex partner doesn't hear from you
for a long period of time.
Whether it's couple of weeks, couple of months,
sometime it's even half a year and longer.
After awhile, the bad memories start to fade
and the good memories start to overpower the person.
And after month or two or three months,
people actually start to miss their ex partner
and they start to focus on all the good memories
that you guys had together.
And by going no contact,
you're actually showing self respect, self value,
self worth, by not acting desperate,
by not chasing the person, by focusing on your life,
by focusing on your goals.
So in a way you're actually behaving high value
by going no contact with that person.
Which makes them not only miss you
and remember the good memories
but also makes them intrigued about you,
intrigued about your life.
'Cause they don't know what's going on with your life,
where as before they knew everything about you.
This is exactly when people who have broken up with you
they start to doubt their decision.
Did they actually made the right choice.
And these types of thoughts
influence them to contact you again
by coming with an offer.
Number two,
will he marry you if you go no contact on him?
A lot of ladies who had really bad relationships,
where they behaved toxic, desperate,
begging, pleading, crying, losing emotional control
and so on.
And let's say their relationship breaks apart.
And the girl finally gets herself together
and she stopped chasing and pursuing
and begging and pleading.
And she finally just let's, just tries to let the guy go.
These girls come to me and they go like,
"OKay, I'm going no contact with him right now.
I decided not to contact him at all.
And I will only take him back
if he comes back to me and proposes."
So ladies, I want to make this really, really clear, okay?
If your relationship
was toxic,
in way that you have done many things "Wrong".
As in, you acted desperate, you acted pathetic,
you acted sad, you've been begging and pleading,
you've been crying, pursuing, losing emotional control.
Even
a no contact rule
will not make him
run after you
in order to marry you.
Just because he's wondering about you,
just because he's missing you.
Men are usually pretty logical creatures.
They don't do
such impulsive offers
such as,
I'm missing them as a girl a lot,
therefore I'm gonna run to her and propose to her.
No, it's not gonna go like that.
Yes. A no contact rule will make him miss you
and we'll get him intrigued about your life.
Yet if he's a logical smart male,
he will still remember why the relationship broke apart,
why things didn't work out.
So the first step,
what guys usually do,
they get in contact with you
and they try to take things slow
to see have you made any changes in your life
and will you still behave in a desperate, sad way as before.
Or perhaps there is some improvement happening
and perhaps you guys should go back together
and try and start a fresh new, healthy relationship.
So my point is ladies,
if your relationship was toxic
and you went no contact rule
and are expecting now for him to run to you
and propose to you.
Yes, he might miss you
but that proposal is
very, very unlikely to happen.
Number three is, should you go no contact with your ex?
Well, it depends.
If you're in a situation where the guy has
broken up with you
and of course, you need to show self respect, self value,
self worth,
and respect his decision and step back.
Basically you look at this whole relationship as a breakup.
If that person doesn't want to be with you,
you should not be in their life.
What is the point to "Stay in touch"
and to drag along as a "Friend".
And a lot of times when guys break up with you,
because the relationship was toxic
and they feel they are still attracted to you,
they're not looking for a friend.
They're looking for "Casual."
They're looking for hookups.
They are looking for friends with benefits.
And you trying to stay in touch with him,
trying to "Keep the relationship going",
you actually could very easily fall
into a friends with benefits "Situation ships"
with no title.
And if you do fall into that,
your value and worth
will drop
even more
because you will be "Allowing him to take advantage of you"
just so you could see him a little bit longer.
Or perhaps thinking that
if you're gonna give a guy friends with benefits,
after awhile, he will offer you
to be in a relationship again.
This is not how it goes.
If after a breakup, you're going into friends with benefits,
you're actually reducing your value and worth even more.
If after the breakup you go like,
"Look, I respect your decisions.
You know what? I value myself
and I don't want to be with somebody
who does not want to be with me
or who does not see my value and worth."
You remove yourself from that person.
Automatically, you will feel more valuable
and worthy yourself,
because you are doing a self-respecting act
and automatically, he will feel more respect
and value towards you.
Number four.
Why no contact
is actually a feminine rule.
No contact
is a feminine rule because
you're behaving feminine, by not chasing
or pursuing a person.
Whenever a guy breaks up with you
and you not running after him, not chasing him,
not acting desperate, not pleading or crying,
"Sending him poems", showing up at his house,
showing up to the places where he goes and so on,
by not
doing these things,
you're behaving in a feminine self, respectable manner.
A lot of men would argue with me and they would say,
"Well, you know, no contact works with women also."
And yes, it does work with some women
who are very masculine women
or who are pretty desperate woman.
So when a guy decides to go no contact on a girl,
hoping that she will chase him and she will pursue him.
Yes. A masculine girl will chase him
and will pursue him.
A desperate girl who doesn't value or respect herself,
yes, she'll probably chase him and pursue him also
because she's desperate.
But no
high value,
feminine woman
will ever
chase or pursue a man.
If he is doing no contact with her intentionally
so she would chase him, this is just not going to happen.
First... (smooching)
Number five, should you go no contact
if you actually really want to get over somebody?
The answer is simple, yes, you should.
when you came out of a toxic relationship
but you still feeling really attached to that person.
Maybe because you bonded over your "Wounds"
or toxicity, et cetera,
you might tend to feel even obsessed with you ex,
obsessed with that person.
If you feel like that,
then no contact is definitely the right thing to do,
especially if you know that the person is toxic
and they are not good for you.
That you need to move on from them
and not blaming the other person.
A lot of times we get into toxic relationships
because we are toxic ourselves.
And the best way
to get over a person who is toxic
is to change
ourselves,
so we are not toxic anymore
ourselves.
And we don't relate
to toxic people
anymore.
We don't create bonds with them because when you are healthy
and we ever person is toxic,
you might want to help that person.
You might want to guide them into the right direction,
but you're not gonna be bonding with them
on emotional level.
You're not gonna be bonding with them through your traumas,
through your toxicity,
simply because you are not toxic anymore.
Anyway, so let me give you an example
why going no contact after the breakup really works,
especially if the person was very toxic.
Look at it like this.
So you've been addicted to drugs, right?
And now you decide to go clean,
but you're still keeping drugs in your house.
How are you going to get cleaned?
If you want to go clean, you must get rid
of
any kind of drugs
in your house first.
Then you must stop going to the places
where the drugs are available.
Then perhaps you need to cut contact short
with people who can provide you with those drugs.
So the same goes, if you want to get over somebody,
first, you cut their contact off.
Then you stop going to places where they might be
then you start limiting the contact
with the mutual friends that you guys may have in common,
who can give you a lot of information about your ex.
And whether it should also include
their social media platforms.
So not stalking his Facebook, not stalking his Instagram,
et cetera.
Number six, will you get over someone amazing
if you go no contact with them?
So in number five, we were talking about
getting over a toxic person.
Getting over somebody toxic is easier
because you have a lot of pain and hurt
from that relationship.
There as, if let's say maybe someone
was really good, he was pretty amazing,
has broken off at you.
And now you want to get over them
and you're trying to do no contact with them
to get over them.
Will it help?
Yes. It might
help a little bit.
The truth is, if you broken up somebody
or someone broke up with you,
who has been a really amazing partner,
I think the only way to finally let go of someone like that
in my opinion,
is through time.
While in the meantime, improving yourself and
having faith, that in a future, you meet someone better.
And I think only when we meet someone better
than that amazing ex that you had,
this is when you can truly be over that person.
And here comes number seven.
Does no contact work
if he was never that interest?
Well,
yes and no.
Sometimes the no contact will make a person
who never was that interested, intrigued,
and make them to check in with you,
because we kind of miss you
and they're feeling a little bit intrigued
with what's going on in your life.
Or perhaps they need a bit of an ego stroke,
you know, and might get in touch with you.
Saying this, if
someone was
really not that
interested in you,
going no contact is not gonna make a huge difference.
The no contact usually really works
if people were really into each other,
if he had
a close bond
at some point.
Like maybe in the beginning, but things along time
just didn't work out
because there were a lot of mistakes made
or a lot of toxicity or drama and et cetera.
But if you guys just had couple of casual hookups
or a very casual relationship
and the bond was never about strongly developed,
then no contact usually doesn't make a huge difference.
A blunt answer would be, if he was never that much into you,
then no contact will make much difference.
So ladies,
this is all that I have to say about the no contact rule.
If you like my video, please press like,
let me know in the comments below what did you think.
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Thank you so much for watching,
kisses from
Dorset.