Hello there, everyone
Look today. I'm just gonna get super real with you. I'm gonna blow the whistle
We've got a serious issue. It's in the spiritual Community and Shall we say within the world at large
And it goes a little something like this
unless everything in your life is going perfectly you're doing something wrong and
In order for you to be doing something right everything in your life has to be going well
Pretty much the second that we decided or figured out shall
I say that mine creates reality and pretty much the second we
Realized that law of attraction was the basic principle that our entire time-space reality
Operated according to we took that to the worst
possible
scenario and what we did is
we made that mean I
Have to focus positively 24 hours a day and filled it all the time or else my entire life is going straight down the tubes
We became spiritual perfectionist to the degree that we were actually
More self loving when we were unconscious and believed the world was separate from us and that bad things just happened to us
So essentially we believe that everything is about positive focus in feeling good, and if we aren't feeling good
We're out of control and failing miserably
The law of attraction is essentially the law of mirroring. It was a genius construct
We came up with for this time-space reality because it would enable us to become more self conscious than ever before
How genius is that that whatever is inside me is going to reflect externally so I can actually see it and recognize it
genius Idea, right
Awesome, but almost everything comes with a catch the catch is
If your external world isn't perfect, whose fault is it?
your fault so much of the stuff that reflects in our external reality are things within us that we actually have no conscious awareness of
Until it shows up externally we call this post manifestation allah Wareness
But let's just say you do recognize something because it shows up externally even when we become she's aware of it
As we all know it's not that easy to change
I mean
You can recognize that your spouse living is the reflection of abandonment issues you have but did that awareness caused you to feel great about?
Your spouse leaving hell
No
The bottom Line is we don't feel good
24/7 but we've been told it's our choice to feel good or bad at all moments of the day
So what do we do we feel like failures because our life isn't picture-perfect, but all we know how to do is try harder
So we become self abusive on the name of spirituality
What exactly are we expecting of ourselves?
Let's get present to it number one we expect ourselves to be completely aware of everything within us
So that there's never any surprises we have total control over our reality
- we expect ourselves to consciously choose everything in our life?
So we're expecting that nothing unwanted ever crosses our path
3 we expect ourselves to change our focus and change the way, we're thinking
Instantaneously, so that we instantly feel good and in fact we maintain this thing - feeling good no matter. What happens to us
For we expect ourselves to be the quite literal image of spiritual perfection that we have in our heads
Ok so after saying all that if you're anything like me, you're probably thinking
ok
That level of pressure has got me actually regretting the fact that I ever became spiritual in the first place like is
consciousness worth it is
Enlightenment worth it. I don't think so if it isn't bad enough that we expect this over selves
We expect it of other people, too
We face the judgment within the community all the time is if it isn't bad enough things aren't going well
We get to add
Oh guess what you're creating all of it to the mix so we can essentially burn in the hell fire of self blame
So we have a belief that if we weren't doing something wrong our life would be going
Perfect in other words if life, isn't going perfect. I'm doing something spiritually wrong. I should be feeling good no matter
What's going on? And if I'm not?
I'm doing something wrong and bad things are gonna manifest, and I can't seem to get it right because look at my life
So something must be wrong with me. Oh
My God ok just like stop for a minute and look at that level of pressure
If you to turn this video off to realize what I just said and to realize the amount of pressure
You're under do it because you got to get present to the fact that this is quite literally
shame
Guess what I did a video on that go take a look at it
It's called how to overcome shame, but this is shame the spiritual community actually supports
So depending on your particular
Spiritual practice you have an idea of how a spear sleeper fected person should look should act should be feeling what their life should look
like essentially and if you're doing anything less than that your family miserably
For example if you're in some buddhist circles if you're not at total Peace and a state of non
reactivity free from attachment living as a minimalist and brown robes
There's something wrong with you
or if you're in the positive focus law of attraction
community if you're not a millionaire by now with a perfect partner and the best possible career and
Wonderful friends and perfect health feeling unconditional love as you drive your new Ferrari down the freeway with positive forward-thinking
Attitude there's something wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you
You are not failing if your life is not the image of absolute perfection, especially
Spiritual perfection what has happened? Is that your ego has hijacked your spiritual practice
It does so all the time
So essentially the ego is the only one that is concern was being good versus being bad being right versus being wrong or being
Successful versus being a failure and the deeper truth is that you're still desperately trying to get love by being right good and successful
So what should you do you should give yourself that love give yourself compassion and loving care to the
aspect of you that feels so unlovable and
So much in need of love that it is
Desperately trying to cram you into the image that it believes is lovable and perfect and good that
Perfect image of the person who is spiritually enlightened the person who has at all the person who's doing life, right?
Realize that you're dealing with yourself the same way adults in your childhood
Did you're expecting perfection from yourself in order to believe that something is right and lovable about you
Sit down and have a come-to-Jesus moment about the pressure that you're actually putting on yourself
You have to realize what you're actually expecting from yourself for example
There's a major difference between actually feeling forgiveness and expecting yourself to feel forgiveness
I'm going to give you a personal example a
While back when I had one of these come to Jesus moments about the pressure I was actually putting on myself
I realized that as a spiritual teacher. I thought that it was
Really important in fact I expected it for myself that I would feel good no matter. What happened
I mean, I was in a total state absolute joy regardless
And if I wasn't that meant something was wrong with me
So just so you get the pressure that even I as a spiritual teacher put on myself
What I was expecting is that I felt good regardless of what the people slandered me on the internet
Bert my paintings in public demonstration or sent me death threat letters
That's Super Fair Mm-hmm
It's also super tempting when we have an idea in our heads about how things should be
Going or how we should feel or how we should act or what spiritual perfection should look like?
To create a facade for ourselves to make ourselves believe we do feel that way
We are that way or we think that way when truth?
We actually don't we have a word for this in the spiritual business. We call it spiritual bypassing
So if you have this issue with putting a hell of a lot of spiritual pressure on yourself
You can believe that the door is wide open for you to fall into the trap of spiritual bypassing for this reason
I want you to actually watch my video on YouTube titled spiritual bypassing it is tempting to look at people
who you think fit the stereotypical image of your definition of spiritual perfection and to make that the new standard you compare yourself next to
But I need to break open this particular shall. We say live for you today
This is part of my authenticity movement guess what hate to break it to you so much of it is total pretense
I'm around other spiritual teachers all the time I
cannot believe how much pretense
Exists amongst those of us who are selling to you the idea of the perfect?
Spiritual person or the perfect ideal way of living or life?
It actually made me nauseous when I entered this particular sphere
Now think about this for a minute you may think to yourself. You know what no, I'd actually be able to tell would you?
Would you know if I hadn't just quite literally flat-out told you that I have an issue when the people who are you know?
my hate groups essentially when they're focusing their negative energy at me or slandering me would you expect that that makes me feel good or
if I didn't say anything would you expect that I have such a
Transcendent perspective as a spiritual teacher that it would not affect me at all
you don't know what's really going on with other people when they don't flat out tell you and
Most people won't flat out tell you because they don't want to be seen as failures and so you assume
You're the only one that can't get it, right
Here's another story
When I first entered this particular sphere the spiritual teachers fear and I started interacting with other spiritual teachers
They would come up to me all the time and say I love what you're doing with your authenticity movement. It's so brave
It's so cutting edge. It's so awesome, and I'd say why aren't you doing it? You know what they'd say to me? It's too risky
because if people actually saw how we
felt and the stuff that happens behind the velvet curtain they wouldn't listen to our message and guess what they're right a
Lot of times people they will hear the truth about what's going on behind the velvet curtain
With those of us that are supposed to be spiritually perfect
And they say wow that person feels negative emotion in the scenario and they shouldn't if they had such transcendental perspective
So I don't really want to listen to what they have to say
So no wonder there are many of us who are selling you the image of spiritual perfection who continue selling it?
It's the only reason you listen to us
So what happens when other people don't flat-out tell you what's going on because they don't want to be seen as failures
You assume you're the only one that can't get it, right
What if no one can get it right and on top of that in this universe there is no ultimate right?
Let that sit in for a minute, right as a matter of perspective, and if you haven't noticed yet
No one agrees on that perspective so right versus wrong is an entirely subjective experience
Let yourself off the hook
There is no way to get it wrong. Why because there is no writing in the sky that says what's wrong
Have you noticed that?
Yeah, if you knew what was wrong, and knew it was right it would be pretty freaking easy to live your life, right?
But that doesn't exist
So if you can't get life wrong, then you can't get life, right?
That can either cause you pain, or it can set you free
What if you stopped expecting yourself at this very minute to feel good because feeling bad doesn't mean there's something wrong with you
Would it be okay not to feel good?
What if you stopped expecting yourself at this very minute to have the perfect job at the perfect partner to be a millionaire by now?
Because not having those things doesn't mean something's wrong with you
Would it be okay to be where you are?
Right now at this minute?
I want you to make a list of the things you disapprove of about yourself
To find that all you got to look at is. What do you expect of yourself that you're completely failing at?
after you write that list for each point
I want you to find approval for it if
You can't do it on your own involve other people in this process because they are all coming at this from a different perspective
Maybe they can see some angles you can't see
But what I want you to do
Is to think about this, how is it good not just okay? How is it good to feel bad?
How is it good to be reactive? How is it good to have no money?
If you flat-out disapprove of an aspect of yourself that is true in this moment
You're in resistance to it is all you get is more of what is
When you look at the things you expect from yourself or desperately want to reach
I want you to have another come to Jesus moment, but this time about why you want those things
also, take a look at what you're trying to get away from to the opposite side of those things that you want for example a
Person may want a perfect partner because they want to feel a sense of being loved and valued because of the opposite side they hate
The feeling of being alone with the feeling of being unlovable and worthless which is the truth of how they actually feel about themselves
The bottom line is you have been trying to do it this way for a really long time
And in case you haven't noticed yet. It's not working. You've just added your name to
another
Incredibly long list of people who enter this spiritual field specifically because they think that spirituality is going to somehow
perfect them so they become more lovable which means you've just added your name to the
psychotically long list of self haters in the spiritual community
it's full of them if you knew you were never gonna be able to get it right what then
What would be possible then?
What would you do instead?
Take the pressure off because you're not failing
Imagine a world
Where everything you experienced was okay the way it was
Imagine accepting what is, that doesn't mean
surrendering in a state of defeat to what is. It means embracing what is.
Imagine if it was okay, and correct to feel the way you feel
Imagine if it was okay, and correct to experience the things you were experiencing
Imagine a world were everything the way it is in this moment
was lovable the way that it is and
valuable
Have a good week