Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business
and a life that you love so much that you’re gonna do a dance with it.
Yes.
Today’s question comes from Miss Christine and she writes:
“Hi Marie, I would love you to A this Q. How do you deal with criticism when you’re
putting yourself out there all the time?
I know everyone’s entitled to their own opinions, but when you get someone that is
very critical and it feels like they’re trying to define you by their own beliefs
rather than the message you’re trying to get across or who you are or what you represent,
how do you not let it affect you in a negative way?
Even more so when these are people that are close to you.
I have a really difficult time with this.
Thank you.
Christine.”
You know, Christine, most people have a tough time being criticized, so it’s very normal
that it doesn't feel so good.
And you’re right, I’ve been putting myself out there for years so I do have some experience
on this topic and, of course, you made it very clear that you would like to know how
I personally deal with it.
So here we go.
Number one, you’ve gotta realize that criticism comes with creativity.
It was Aristotle who said, “If you want to avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing,
be nothing.”
So if you’re gonna do anything in life you’ve got to realize that this is part of the game.
I don't want you to resist that face, just embrace it.
Number two, not all criticism is bad.
Constructive criticism can really help you grow.
So I don't want you to be so sensitive that you dismiss it all.
Here’s the thing though, the people that know you and love you and support you, they
will offer constructive criticism most often in private.
I mean, that’s what my friends do for me and I try and do the same for them.
Now, as for the clown holes who offer you criticism and they don't even know you, you
wanna be strong enough to be able to skim any morsel off the top that could possibly
be useful to you.
Now, as for these kind of clown holes who don't even know me who publicly criticize
me online, I honestly kinda feel bad for them.
I’m never sure what they’re actually trying to gain from it.
It’s clear they have little to no emotional intelligence and way too much time on their
hands.
Plus 99% of the time these people are not creating anything positive for themselves
or others, so it’s not like I really respect their opinion anyway.
But my most important strategy is this:
Number three is don't give away your power.
So anytime some nasty criticism or BS comes your way you have to say this.
“You cannot take me down.
I will not give you that power.”
I want you to make that your new mantra in life.
You’ve gotta realize that people can say whatever they want, but you do not have to
take it in and you don't have to let it ruin your day.
Your time on this earth is so precious and it’s really, really important that you protect
your soul.
Number four is take a stand for kindness.
So I have a secret imaginary organization that not many people know about until it’s
too late.
It’s called MF’s Ministry of Kindness and the basic tenet is “be kind or leave.”
So if someone is unkind they get a letter from my organization that says this:
“Dear Ms. Clownhole, MF’s Ministry of Kindness invites you not to stay.”
Or if I think they’d respond better to something a little less formal, I send them this video
message from my friend Eddie.
Here’s the deal, Christine, do not let anybody come into your house and basically squat down
and take a hot, steamy dump on your living room floor.
Do not tolerate people being mean or cruel to you, your friends, your family, your team,
anybody in your world.
So how do you do this?
You delete people, you disengage, you block them, you unsubscribe them.
Number five, and this is really probably my favorite, you need to have a good laugh.
So one of my favorite things in the world is what Jimmy Kimmel does where he has his
mean celebrity tweets where celebrities read out loud the awful things that people write
directly to them.
Take a look at Ethan Hawke.
Now, you can see the full video below.
It is hilarious.
The best thing is how all these celebs deal with it.
They just read it out loud, they share it with us, they laugh about it, which is the
perfect way to remove the sting.
And to prove it to you I’m gonna join in and read some criticism that people like to
share with me.
So here’s a comment from one of our subscribers, Karen, who actually signed up to hear from
me.
She writes, “I find you obnoxious and your style is deceiving.
Karen.”
You know, she’s right.
Don't trust this skirt.
And here’s another love note.
“Does anyone know how much of Marie’s hair is false?
I’d guess that mane she tosses over her shoulders is 70% extensions.”
And then someone responded saying, “Ding ding ding!
I’d go with around 80% actually.
I’ve always found her gobs of fake hair very distracting.
And I’ve been surprised to see her being praised for her great hair when it’s obviously
almost entirely extensions.
Her natural hair, it’s just the layers around her face.
I’ve never seen it longer than past her shoulders.
Her natural hair is not that thick at all.”
Ow, Greg.
“She covers it up with teasing her hair so to make her hair look fuller.
This is obvious even in the pics without extensions.”
Greg, I know.
I know.
Now they know it’s not fake.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but this is the hair that I was born with.
Pretty awesome, right?
Now, I know when sometimes somebody says something really mean or cruel to you it can stay in
your head for a while.
So if you just can’t laugh it off or brush it off I want you to remember this Tweetable.
“If mean words keep popping up in your mind, don't let them drop down and poison your soul.”
One last thing.
We did another awesome episode on criticism, it’s right here, so if you want more just
go and check that out.
So, Christine, that was my A to your Q. I hope it helps.
Now I would love to hear from you.
How do you deal with criticism in your life?
Have you got any really priceless tweets or comments or shares that make you laugh now?
If you want to, put them in the comments below.
Now, as always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com,
so go there and leave a comment now.
Did you like this video?
I certainly did.
It was one of my favorites.
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
gift that only you have.
Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.