does this guy make anyone else want to
start a rock band welcome to
watchmojo.com
you like your anonymity though you're
like Banksy for this list we're scouring
Jack Black cinematic back catalog for
his most memorable and quote worthy
lines let's get out there and melt some
faces that's one nacho number 10 I'm an
overweight middle-aged man Jumanji
welcome to the jungle the idea of being
sucked into a video game may be a dream
for some of us but not if you're a
teenage girl who suddenly becomes well
not that Jack Black plays professor
Shelton Oberon who just so happens to
become young Bethany's avatar in the
game Jumanji and honestly you haven't
lived until you've seen him or her
learning how to relieve him or herself
or teach sexy okay now angle your eyes
down now head down tilta eyes big no
sparkle sparkle like an anime character
a sparkle but of course the sudden
realization that she's lost her youthful
looks and traded them for a pith helmet
and a belly is really one of the movie's
highlights so that means I I'm
I'm an overweight middle-aged man
self-aware on point and delivered only
the way Jack black can this line and
this scene set us up for a host of
hilarity to come it doesn't seem like
the most pressing concern at this moment
oh really you don't think this would be
a good moment to make a phone call or
text somebody or change your status
they're stuck in a freaking video game
number nine get off your ass let's do
some math school of rock what's up with
a stiffness man you're looking little
robe tronic okay let's grease up the
hinges and listen loosey-goosey baby
loosey-goosey this movie is basically a
Greatest Hits montage of Jack Black
quotes in moments almost every scene is
gold but when substitute substitute
teacher Dewey Finn
aka ned schneebly is forced to invent a
math based song on the fly we get this
genius line which has long been
engrained in the memories of moviegoers
music lovers and math students
everywhere whether you're trying to
motivate someone to do their homework or
just ripping through your favorite Jack
Black lyrics this one always seems to
pop up if you wanted proof of Black's
musical magnetism just listen to how he
makes math problems Rock three minus
four is negative one that's right and a
billion is 6 billion nailed it
number eight I didn't get into college
Orange County do you want me to get
naked and start the revolution slightly
manic stoner with a heart of gold is a
phrase that could be used to describe
many of his roles but Lance in Orange
County is so much more than that
he's almost a lazy lousy moral compass
to his brother Sean and as such he's
constantly appearing out of nowhere
offering words of wisdom and asking for
favors excuse me sorry Sean have you
seen my piss Jack Black's deal
the show is a given whether it's with a
starring role or a supporting one she
named Joe John what is it Joe John
name's Joe John but the scene where he's
trying to reassure his brother that
everything will be fine
even if he doesn't get into Stanford is
so quintessential and quotable we cannot
ignore it you're overreacting dude I
didn't get into college and check me out
I'm kick-ass well can't argue with that
number seven iris if you are a melody
the holiday if you've ever wanted to see
the softer side of Jack Black Mike we
direct you to the Christmas comedy the
holiday as a romantic lead Black gets a
bit sappy er than usual but seeing him
stretch some new acting muscles through
a sweet banter with Kate Winslet is a
blast so that makes it impossible to
forget him which is great for him but
sucks for you huh you see how great your
life is compared to mine okay let's go
I'm making you some fettuccine in this
scene the two are sitting at a piano
chatting and cracking jokes when this
line comes out of the blue and hits us
with all the fields iris if you were a
military
[Music]
I used only the good notes to any funny
guys out there looking to get serious
and surprise their love with a romantic
musical analogy this is a good place to
start but of course it wouldn't be a
Jack Black movie if there weren't at
least one or two very distinct line
deliveries brisket was great
who knows chocolate-covered macaroons
number six he was so deadly Kung Fu
Panda
if you thought Jack Black was animated
in live-action just wait till you see
him in cartoon form what I'm upset okay
the energy and bravado of blacks voice
are instantly recognizable in this
animated comedy flick where he plays PO
a wannabe kung fu hero stares who are
you buddy I am the Dragon Warrior and
from the opening sequence we get a very
clear idea of what kind of hero he is a
dreamer basically fantasizing about his
greatness po tells us the story of a
heroic warrior himself obviously and
while he attempts to stay humble his
tale is littered with fantastic ego
fueled lines like this one
it was so deadly in fact that his
enemies would go blind from overexposure
to pure awesomeness delusional but
loveable how is a great character that
allows blacks irreverent style to shine
through there is no charge for
awesomeness
or attractiveness number five give us
one chance to rock your socks off
tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny if
you're anything like us and are looking
for a movie where JB is that his
ridiculous rock-and-roll vest look no
further than this tenacious d vehicle
inappropriate and awesome from start to
finish the Pick of Destiny is really a
journey of musical discovery culminating
in a rock off with Satan himself
insult sir traded deals are made and
just before the stakes are brought to
stratospheric Heights black hits us with
this line
[Music]
if you're ever playing a gig and someone
starts heckling you just drop this one
on them and you are good to go number
four a Cosby sweater high fidelity music
snobs unite high fidelity is a movie for
music fans by music fans
it's about obscure b-sides annoying
customers and top-5 countdowns essential
to the relatable atmosphere created in
the championship vinyl store is the
short-tempered Barrie played by Jack
Black Barry never with holds his opinion
on anything be it Bob Dylan albums or
items of clothing and in this scene we
get one of Barry's finest moments with a
Bill Cosby sweater put down that's the
worst
sweater I've ever seen it's a Cosby
sweater a Cosby sweater that you leave
the house like that his over-the-top
emphasis on the word Cosby is textbook
JB and if you ever see anyone wearing
anything like Q's X threads in this
movie it'd be rude not to pull out the
Cosby line number three no you can't
have any King jellybeans Tropic Thunder
this movie is responsible for giving us
fat and bald Tom Cruise simple Jack and
Robert Downey jr. oscar-nominated turn
as a dude playing a dude disguised as
another dude thank you movie gods so you
can see that the ensemble cast is
absolutely stacked among them is black
as Jeff Portnoy a comedian known
primarily for fart jokes as well as
inappropriate public behavior in
substance abuse fresh from his most
recent arrest for heroin glue and crack
possession Portnoy was almost
uninsurable when Portnoy is dropped in
the jungle with limited access to his
stash of jelly beans Jeff gets a little
testy let's say
nothing man it's jelly by meeting jelly
beans
he is constantly sneaking off for a
quick fix but it's the moment where he's
clocked by Jay Baruchel z' Kevin
Sandusky that cracks us up the most
jelly bean
they're mine you think you're the only
one to get sick honey does another
Jordan well bad or this I need to wear
so much skin like a unitard
number two get that corn out of my face
nacho libre jangchul when you are a man
sometimes you wear stretchy pants
tenacious d showed us the silly side of
rock and nacho libre gives us the silly
side of wrestling directed by Jared Hess
whose unique mind also gave us the dry
awkward comedy Napoleon Dynamite nacho
libre is littered with cringy moments
and true to form black makes each one of
them pop miss you
it was stinky but these are my
recreation clothes with so much
ridiculous dialogue to choose from it
was tough to nail down one quote from
this movie but we're going with this
corny line you know sorry anyway like
most of the movie this line has drama in
spades when it's totally unnecessary and
we love it
we asked Jack Black which of his movie
lines was quoted back to him the most
and he said get that corn out of my face
from nacho libre obviously we disagreed
so what is at number one let's run
through these honorable mentions and
then we'll find out
[Music]
walking down the street and you see a
little ghost what you're gonna do about
ghosts what what what is that
that's that Ghostbusters theme song no
I'm pretty sure it is I was wondering if
you would like to join me in my quarters
this night for some toast we're on the
verge of being called Kathleen Turner
overdrive
however this evening we will be Barry
jive and the uptown funk trust me
whatever you're doing it's working
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notifications number one well you're not
hardcore School of Rock let's get rockin
we're back to school for our number one
pick with jack black's erratic
substitute teacher rockin our world
while he is perhaps a questionable
educator and role model no I'm not a
licensed teacher but I have been touched
by your kids and I'm pretty sure I've
touched them he does excel musically and
our favorite Dewey Finn original is the
legend of the rent you're not hot car
unless you live hot car and then that's
where I want the backup singers to be
like well you're not hot but the legend
of the rent was way hardcore want to get
your head banging sing along with his
blunt but true line about what it takes
to be hardcore 1 2
[Music]
it's a helicase on in a movie filled
with hella catchy songs and watching
Jack jump side to side rocking out to
his own musical creation is the stuff
comedy dreams are made of shine on you
crazy diamond do you agree with our
picks check out this other recent clip
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