If you are single and dating, you have probably had the experience of a man losing interest
and pulling away just when everything was going great. It’s very common. Things start
off wonderfully...he’s really attentive and affectionate, and you have a great time
when you’re together. But then, just as everything is going so well, out of nowhere,
something changes and you can feel that he’s pulling away and less interested and you can’t
figure out why, or how to make things go back the way they were. Well stay tuned, because
in this video, I’m going to explain the top 5 reasons why men lose interest and then
I’ll tell you exactly what to do to turn things around. Don’t go anywhere because
we are starting right now.
hi everyone.. I’m dr Antonio Borrello, and I’m a psychologist and relationship coach.
This channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy
with the people you love. So, if you’re interested in making your love life the best
part of your life, start now by clicking the subscribe button and the bell notification
so you aren’t missing anything. OK… on to the reasons why he pulled away.
If you’ve had the experience of a man losing interest just when everything is going great,
you know how unsettling it can be. He stops texting and calling as much. He’s not as
affectionate as he was before. He doesn’t want to make plans this weekend. Whatever
it is, you can sense it, and it feels horrible in the pit of your stomach.
And that’s when you start questioning everything… replaying your interactions over an over…
trying to figure out what happened. was it something I said? Did they learn something
about me that they don't like? Why is he losing interest and what can I do to get him
back to the way he was? Well, without further ado, Here are the top 5 reasons why men pull
away. Make sure you watch until the end because after you learn the 5 most common reasons,
I’m going to tell you exactly what you can do to get him to be back to what he was like
before.
5. It’s a triggered emotional response… A sudden change of heart without an obvious
reason is often a triggered emotional response. In other words, Some behavior, interaction
or new information triggered a negative emotion in him and caused him to experience anxiety.
This uneasiness gets associated with you, and poof, he’s gone. And this isn’t
something you could ever control. Unless you were offensive, did something really
weird or appeared way too interested or needy, the trigger is related to something in your
partner’s past and has nothing to do with you. A trigger could be almost anything:
behaviors, gestures, expressions, differences of opinion, or even the way you laugh. And
often they are ridiculous... I know... it’s happened to me many times.
Sometimes a trigger is an alert to important difference between two people. But many times,
a trigger is simply an irrational emotional response to something your partner isn’t
even aware of. Often, the person who loses interest doesn’t even know why it happened..
doesn’t understand why their own feelings have changed. they just know they don’t
feel the same. So, how can you tell if this is what has happened? Well, if it’s a triggered
emotional response, more than likely, he will find a way to end the relationship by making
an excuse.. the it’s not you, it’s me excuse.. or they might tell you things aren’t
working out.. or they might even ghost you. And I can tell you first hand.. this is really
difficult to deal with.
But if you are a subscriber struggling with a dating or relationship problem that you
have a question about, you can get my opinion about your situation by sending your questions
To antonioborrello@icloud.com. It might take me a day or two, but I respond to every email
personally. And of course it’s private.
4. You think you’re more compatible than you really are. This is a big one..
you start dating a person who you find super attractive and you believe they have a lot
going for them…and that they are a very good match for you…. you believe would make
a great couple and have beautiful babies together... but wait... really? Are you that compatible,
or are you just really attracted to him? Don’t get me wrong... having amazing chemistry with
someone is exciting.... but do you have non stop amazing, stimulating conversation? Are
you both really that similar?
let’s be honest with ourselves… the more attracted you are to a person, the more likely
you are to try and forgive the differences between the two of you. And, before you
really know a person, you’re more likely to imagine this person has these great qualities
and attributes that are perfect for you. But In reality, he might not be that compatible
with you, despite the fact that you really really want him to be. And for whatever reason,
he was able to realize and accept that fact before you were.
3. He is in love with somebody else. This is also common when an ‘on-again, off-again
ex’ shows up asking for another chance. In fact, that’s happened to me once….
I met this woman online.. we started texting and talking. we went on a few dates and things
were going great. .. and then one evening a few days after our 4th date, we were texting
back and forth and then she suddenly disappeared. she stopped responding to my texts and calls..
No communication.. no explanation.. nothing. Just radio silence... So what happened?
Well, Apparently that evening while we were texting, her ex boyfriend just showed up at
her door and wanted a second chance.. and of course, she then deleted all of our communications..
guess how I found out? Well, she started texting me again when they broke up again..
and guess what I did… I ghosted her back.. no… lol.. I found out what happened and
then told her I was not interested in dating her.. of course I understood why she didn’t
want to date me at the time, but certainly, she could have let me know rather than ghost
me. but at least I knew for certain that it wasn’t something I did. So, if you’re
dating a person who was recently in another relationship, be careful.. they could be totally
into you one day… and then totally disappear the next.
And If he is in love with another woman, that does not mean you are inadequate, ugly, uncaring,
or unsexy. It means he is caught up with another person. It’s his responsibility and it is
not a reflection of you at all. It is a sign of something going on within his own heart
and mind. You are not responsible for using your magic powers to break that bond of love.
That is something he will have to deal with on his own.
Ok.. so you have little control over the first three scenarios. … in other words, it’s
not you…but keep watching because if the next two sound familiar, I’ll tell you exactly
how you can immediately fix the issue and turn things around
2. You’re Attracted to Bad Boys. Are you someone who is always attracted to
men who are unavailable or otherwise bad for you. In other words, you keep picking the
bad boys. You know the scenario.. The nice Guy is handsome, sweet, interesting, smart,
and available and he is interested in a relationship with you. But of course, you’re just not
that into him. On the other hand, you can’t stop thinking and obsessing over this bad
boy. Sure, the bad boy has a some good qualities, but he is either unavailable for
a relationship in general, or unavailable for a relationship with you. So, if you
have a history of picking these guys, perhaps you’re more likely to subconsciously seek
out similar scenarios, hoping that the story will have a different ending next time. Only
it does not. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate how and where you’re meeting these bad boys
and make some adjustments. Give the nice guy a second date and see what happens.
1. You’re Working Much Harder than He is.
When we are really attracted to someone and we really want things to work out, we have
a tendency to go out of our way to be super nice, attentive, available…. And sometimes,
we do all of the work to make things happen,… like always driving across town to see him,
arranging our schedule to make time for him…. And even cancelling plans with friends to
see him. This may be an exaggeration, but if a guy thinks you’ll drop everything for
an opportunity to see him, the message it sends is that he’s the most important thing
going on in your world.. and this has two bad consequences…. 1, it lowers your value
in his eyes and when your perceived value goes down, so does your level of attractiveness.
when you show a new man you’re dating too much interest, too much excitement, you’re
perceived value (relative to his) goes down. Does that make sense.. and number 2, He
doesn’t have to invest into the relationship. Remember, People care more when they put more
effort and invest into their relationships in terms of time, energy, effort.. commitment.
So.. if you recognize that you have been trying harder and working harder than him, and he’s
not investing, what can you do to fix this? Well, first, Prioritize You and Become someone
YOU would miss. BE yourself and make yourself a priority. This is easier said than done,
but start with taking the attention off of him, and put it back onto yourself. Take
care of you first… pick up some hobbies, make and KEEP plans with your friends.. fill
up your social calendar…. Cultivate your OWN rich life, one that he would be fortunate
to be part of. Take care of yourself and do the things YOU like to do. Spend time
with YOUR friends and family. Advance YOUR career and interests. He’s got to know
how full and complete your life is. And, if he becomes part of it, it is because you
WANT him to be part of it, not because you NEED him to part of it. And secondly, make
him invest in the relationship.. When they do, they are increasing their feelings of
love and appreciation for you. And I’m not talking about money.. I’m talking about
allowing him to help you with things.. small favors, helping you complete a project at
home,. Help with studying.. things that take time and effort. Instead of suggesting you
meet him at his place, let him drive your way and pick you up.. these things add up.
The more he invests, the more he will like you as a result… I know it seems counterintuitive,
but trust me… we appreciate and value the things we work hard for. invest in each
other equally—share the effort, Share the work, Share in the giving and receiving—
and you will develop an amazing appreciation for each other.
Look, anyone who is dating in todays world will have these experiences and it won’t
feel good. What’s important is that you quickly recognize when your feelings are no
longer being reciprocated —and once you’re aware, adjust your behaviors and feelings
accordingly. Don’t waste your time worrying about the person who isn’t showing as much
interest as you are. And don’t blame yourself or spend endless hours worrying about what
went wrong. It happens to everyone, it happens frequently and it’s not a reflection of
you. Period! Move forward and meet someone as eager about a relationship as you are.
You deserve a person who’s just as excited about you and knows how to show it. Don’t
settle for anything less. I know I certainly wont…
And if you’ve been in a or situations where
you were left wondering what happened? If you’d like my help trying to decipher something,
leave a comment below and let’s start a discussion. Remember, this channel is all
about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you
love.. So if you want to see more videos like this one, make sure that you’ve subscribed
so you aren’t missing any of our new videos. And please hit that thumbs up button if you’ve
found this video helpful or informative… thanks for watching.. I’ll see you in
the next video.