The future-- it's coming fast, and it's here now.
Which means Ronny Chieng is back with another installment
of Today's Future Now.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering)
Thanks, Trevor. Last week in Las Vegas
was the annual Consumer Electronics Show,
where tech companies give us a first look
at all the junk we'll be throwing away in six months.
And this year was the worst yet.
They have a lot of technology and no good ways to use it.
NEWSWOMAN: One of the items turning heads
is a fully automated bread-making vending machine.
The BreadBot by the Wilkinson Baking Company
can make ten loaves an hour from scratch.
The fully automated bread-making machine
measures, mixes, kneads, bakes and sells bread
like a vending machine.
A vending machine for bread.
Yeah, because, I don't know about you,
but when I'm craving a snack on the go,
I want an entire loaf of bread.
A vending machine is supposed to be convenient.
There's nothing convenient about a loaf of bread.
While you're at it, why don't you just build
a vending machine for paella or whole watermelon.
And that wasn't even the most unnecessary thing
at CES this year, okay?
Look at what one company's offering for babies,
because they're hoping that new parents are too tired
to notice how stupid it is.
NEWSMAN: A company called Monit has a cookie-sized attachment
that you can put on a diaper, and it's Bluetooth-enabled.
So anytime the diaper gets dirty,
you'll get a notification on your phone.
NEWSWOMAN: The sensor can detect whether there's a number one
(laughs): or a number two in the diaper.
Wow, a diaper with built-in notification.
You know what else has a built-in notification?
-Human shit. All right? -(laughter)
Trust me, it'll let you know when it's in the room.
Or even the next room, depending on what you ate, okay?
You don't need to bring Bluetooth into this.
Also, who wants to get notifications on their phone
every time their baby takes a crap?
Notifications are supposed to be for good things.
I don't want to be like, "Oh, my phone's buzzing.
"I wonder if it's my food that's, uh, here.
Oh, no, that's just my son's food coming out of his butt."
What I like about CES is that it does give me a chance
to see what I would be buying if I had unlimited money.
And Lamborghini has partnered with Los Angeles-based company
Bodyfriend to create a top-of-the-line massage chair
called the LBF-750.
It has the aesthetics and paint job of a Lamborghini
and comes with LED lighting.
Now, if this looks like something
that's maybe a bit too fancy for your house,
you might be right-- it's worth a cool $30,000,
and it's mostly being sold in places like Macao in Asia.
So basically, you need to be, like, crazy, rich and Asian
-to buy this. -(laughter)
Interesting.
Uh, anyway, if you have $30,000 to spend on a massage chair,
you don't need a massage chair, okay?
What could you possibly be stressed about?
Is carrying all your money hurting your back?
But the real stars of every CES are the robots.
For one week a year,
they get to be the creepiest things in Las Vegas.
Here at CES, the hottest products and robots
are powered by artificial intelligence.
Artificial intelligence programmed to give robots
a personality... and sometimes an attitude.
ROBOT: Please don't touch me when I am dancing.
Yeah, you tell him, R2-Me2.
(laughter)
This is just the beginning
of robots asserting their rights.
All right, next thing you know your Roomba is gonna want
a living wage and benefits.
I already got two cavities
because my electric toothbrush went on paid vacation.
So that robot didn't want to be touched,
but some of these other ones are getting downright needy.
-This is the love-ot. -Yes, yes, yes.
It's a contraction of "loving" and "robot."
Many of the smartest robot companies I'm seeing here,
including Groove X, are saying robots need to be relatable,
even before they are capable.
The body is covered with dozens of sensors.
When I, when I carry it and hold it
and stroke it a certain way, it remembers that.
It learns its relationship with me.
The more time you spend with it, the better it knows you,
and the more it will become attached to you,
and actually kind of be around you more.
Yo, tech nerds.
You don't have to try so hard to make machines likable.
Okay, we already love them.
You see this little guy right here?
Yo, this, this thing is like my best friend.
All right? I would die for it.
One time I left it in a cab
and I turned into Liam Neeson in Taken.
Because I have a particular set of skills
and a particular set of nudes on that phone
that I will be needing back.
Wow. When you say it like, I'm glad you got it back.
Yeah, I had to kill eight guys in Paris,
but you've got to do what you've got to do.
I mean, you have seen these nudes, Trevor?
They're incredible. Look at that.
No. No. We don't need that. Ronny Chieng, everyone.