TO GET INTO COLLEGE, YOU OFTEN, MOST CASES, WILL HAVE TO
WRITE ESSAYS.
TO GET INTO YALE, ONE TEENAGER NAMED CAROLINE WILLIAMS,
WROTE AN ESSAY ABOUT THE ONE THING SHE TRULY LOVES IN
THE WORLD; ORDERING PAPA JOHN'S DELIVERY.
SHE PUT THIS TWEET OUT, "I JUST WANT PAPA JOHN'S TO KNOW
THAT I WROTE AN ESSAY ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE TO ORDER PIZZA
AND IT GOT ME INTO YALE."
SO, NOT ONLY DID SHE WRITE IT, IT TURNED OUT TO BE A GOOD
STRATEGY.
WE ARE GOING TO SHOW YOU THIS PART OF THE LONGER ESSAY;
"WHEN THE DELIVERY PERSON RINGS MY DOORBELL, I INSTANTLY
MORPH INTO ONE OF PAVLOV'S DOGS, SALIVATING TO THE SOUND
THAT SIGNALS THE ARRIVAL OF CHEESY, CIRCULAR GLORY.
IT'S NOT LIKE CELEBRATION, AS I LOVE TO REJOICE A HAPPY
OCCASION BY CALLING PAPA JOHN'S FOR MY FAVORITE FOOD.
TASTES LIKE COMFORT.
ACCEPTING THESE WARM CARDBOARD BOXES AT MY FRONT DOOR IS
SECOND NATURE TO ME, BUT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE ORDERING PIZZA
BECAUSE OF THE WEIGHT SLICES OF SOMETHING SO ORDINARY ARE ABLE
TO UP FEELINGS OF INDEPENDENCE, CONSOLATION, AND JOY."
THAT IS JUST ONE SMALL SECTION OF IT.
I'M NOT SURE IF SHE LIKES EATING THE PIZZA, OR ORDERING IT.
SHE LIKED EATING THE PIZZA AND NOT HAVING TO GO GET IT, WHICH
ARE MY TWO BABY THINGS ABOUT IT TOO.
YOU CAN SEE HER POSTING IN THIS PICTURE, TRIUMPHANTLY WITH
A PAPA JOHN'S PIZZA.
BY THE WAY, PAPA JOHN'S PIZZA IS POLITICALLY A MESS, BUT
THERE PIZZA IS PRETTY GOOD.
IT'S MAINLY THAT INDUSTRIAL GARLIC SAUCE.
SO, REALLY FAST, I THOUGHT WE WOULD HAVE THE FULL TWEET, BUT
THERE WERE RESPONSES FROM PEOPLE AT YALE, LIKE ON HER FILE
OR WHATEVER, AND THEY WERE LAUGHING, AND IT WAS FUNNY,
AND SOME OF THEM ALSO LIKE PAPA JOHN'S.
AND THE ADMITTING OFFICER SAID THAT SHE LAUGHED OUT LOUD
READING IT, AND SO SHE ENJOYED IT WAS A FUN, SPIRITED ñ
JUST TO CLOSE IT OUT THOUGH, THIS IS IMPORTANT, BECAUSE
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE LIKE, LOOK AT THESE LIBERAL
COLLEGES, SHE GOT IN BASED ON PIZZA.
APPLICATION INCLUDED A HIGH GPA, VOLUNTEER WORK, AS WELL AS
MEMBERS OF WITH THE ENGLISH HONORS SOCIETY ñ-
--
IT'S NOT THAT YOU GOT INTO YALE BECAUSE OF PIZZA, IT'S THAT
SHE GOT INTO YALE AND CHOSE TO GO TO A DIFFERENT COLLEGE,
AUBURN UNIVERSITY.
SHE'S GOING TO AUBURN?
YES, IT'S CLOSER TO HOME.
IS THE WRONG MOVE.
GOD BLESS ALL BURN, AUBURN IS A GREAT UNIVERSITY.
YALE, BETTER ONE.
SO LOOK, IF YOU ARE GOING TO SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ON COLLEGE,
AND I'M SURE YALE WAS MORE EXPENSIVE, BUT SHE IS OUT OF
STATE FOR AUBURN.
I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT AUBURN, WHICH WOULD MERELY EVOKE ANGER
FROM PEOPLE WHO LIKE AUBURN, SO I WILL KEEP THAT TO MYSELF.
YOU GET INTO YALE YOU GO YALE YOUNG LADY, DON'T BE
FOOLISH, GET SOME FINANCIAL AID, WORK ON GETTING FINANCIAL AID.
THAT MONEY IS THERE FOR PEOPLE WHO ASK FOR IT USUALLY.
BEN AND I HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS IN THE PAST, YOU DON'T GET
A LOT OF BREAKS IN LIFE, LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH.
YOU SCORED A PRETTY NICE BREAK GETTING INTO YALE, AND PART
OF THE REASON WHY WE SAY THAT IS BECAUSE, YOU ARE LIKELY TO
MAKE MORE MONEY WHEN YOU GET OUT OF YALE.
I'M JUST KEEPING IT REAL HERE.
IS NOT A CONSERVATIVE POSITION?
YOU CAN ARGUE, THERE IS AN ARGUMENT WORTH MAKING THAT THERE
ARE LIKE, FOUR COUNTRIES IN THE COUNTRY THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE,
AND THEN THERE'S LIKE A 7900 WAY TIE FOR 2ND.
AND THOSE FOUR SCHOOLS WOULD BE HARVARD, YALE, PRINCETON,
STANFORD, RIGHT?
PROBABLY THERE'S A SECOND GROUP THERE, COLUMBIA, MIT, BUT THAT'S
IN A DIFFERENT WORLD.
SO, IF YOU GET INTO ONE OF THOSE FOUR, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO.
THEY HAVE PAPA JOHN'S IN NEW HAVEN MAN.
IN FACT, THEY HAVE GREAT REAL PIZZA, GREAT NON PAPA
JOHN'S PIZZA.
WHO WANTS THAT?
THE ONE THING I WANT TO SAY, IT'S CUTE, SHE WILL DO GREAT
ESSAY, SHE HAD GOOD GRADES, BUT HIS IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE WHERE
COMPANIES WILL PAY KIDS A LITTLE BIT EXTRA TO DO THIS AND THEN
GET A LITTLE MONEY OUT OF THAT?
THERE'S ANOTHER THING, LET'S ACKNOWLEDGE, SHE OBVIOUSLY
EARNED IT, YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET INTO YALE?
ONLY 6.9% OF THE PEOPLE WHO APPLY GET INTO YALE.
IS GREATLY HARD.
SO, HER GPA AND HER SCORES MUST HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE ROOF.
AND SHE HAD A CUTE ANGLE HERE.
AND I GET IT, IT WAS A BIT OF A CHEESY IDEA...
BUT I LIKED IT.
GOD BLESS.
IF I WAS THE EDITING OFFICER, I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE DONE
THE SAME THING.
OKAY, BUT OVERALL, IT IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE, TO GINA'S
POINT, AND EVERYBODY IS GOING TO START DOING THESE GIMMICKS,
AND IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK.
BE CAREFUL GUYS, YOU WANT TO GET IN BECAUSE, I LIKE OREO COOKIES!