first off I just want you to know that I know the tensions are running very high
with Star Wars Star Wars right now it's almost political levels of divisive
nough swilling to hear what's on the other side and i just want you to know
there's a lot of accusing as to who's on what side these days and I just want you
to know that I don't have an axe to grind with Star Wars I liked the last
Jedi but yet I understood why so many people didn't and from a business
perspective I thought it was a very bad move and I've likened it to Batman V
Superman where I had a similar situation I liked the movie but yet I understood
why it angered so many so with this film the rise of Skywalker I'm going through
quite an effort here to to really give you a detailed critique of the film both
what I liked about it I did like some stuff and then what I didn't like what
about it and I really didn't like a lot of this movie but I hope that you have
the same measured approach and your comments down below all right so let's
get started now Bob Iger has said infamously well I don't know it depends
on what camp you're in right uh he said don't worry things are gonna change but
he said where Disney went wrong was that start with Star Wars is they made too
many movies too quickly but I think that's incorrect I mean I guess that's
an element of what happened but that's not the big mistake I think it's pretty
clear to anyone and probably Bob - he just doesn't want to say it but Disney's
actual mistake was trying to wrap up the storylines of the original characters
while simultaneously introducing new characters and as a result every
character got shortchanged it's a mess I mean there's some of you actually
tweeted this earlier today - as a reaction to my emoji review and that's
it's almost impossible to pull out of this nosedive at this point all so let's
hope that and speaking of the nosedive that they're in let's hope that Disney's
trilogy here serves as a warning to other franchises and Star Wars itself
going forward because it will be back but that's that you must have a concrete
outline right I mean no matter how you feel
about Ryan Johnson's last Jedi he has admitted himself to throwing out JJ
Abrams original loose ideas I mean it's kind of on JJ to because he didn't give
a concrete outline going forward he was like this is kind of the direction I'd
like to go in so of course Ryan had ideas right and even worse Rian Johnson
not only threw out with JJ kind of started but dip really introduce any of
his own concrete ideas in Episode eight I mean and and and and and in in that
film Rian Johnson didn't even do much to move the story forward I mean again no
matter how you feel about that movie it kind of was a wasted chapter right in in
us in a trilogy that doesn't have the time to waste so as a result the rise of
Skywalker has the impossible task of trying to course-correct and wrap up the
stories of the old and new characters all in just two and a half hours and
because again that's an impossible task that JJ and company clearly know and
realize they try to cheat but why am i putting that in quotation marks they
cheat made me angry they try to cheat by appealing to fans
with massive amounts of fanservice and they even go so far as to have a
in-your-face hallmark moment that was obviously shot before the hallmark
situation but JJ Abrams and company when that happened last week we're probably
like whoo this is so good for us but I mean like really this far in and twenty
going into 2020 this is your LGBT representation come on again it's just
sloppy fanservice and the fan service is so sloppy Plus this movie as has this
entire trilogy continues to borrow heavily from Avatar The Last Airbender
which I called from day one in fact the people next to me at the press screening
when Ridley for a daisy ridley's ray first showed up and screamed they were
like boy she looks like Aang and she did alright so anyway the movie not only is
sloppy but it's so desperately pandering it's both hilarious and insulting at the
same time like audiences are really smart particularly today we can see what
you're doing and it's kind of insulting that you think that we would
I don't know some of you I don't know do you fall for it I'd be curious but we'll
discuss that in a spoiler review ironically though it reminded me of the
final season of Game of Thrones whose showrunners it's ironic because the
showrunners for that show just bolted from Star Wars and incidentally they
launched their own outline as well and that's what caused a lot of their
problems I'll handle the outline it's so important and two recent examples of
impressive outlines that resulted in tremendous payoffs are Avengers end game
and HBO's Watchmen and I bring them up to prove that this kind of epic
intelligent genre storytelling in the with a long game but still entertaining
in the short game not only can be done but can be done by multiple creative
camps this isn't just well this Star Wars this Disney - but this isn't like
Oh Marvel's the only one who can do anything
no HBO's Watchmen did this as well in an incredibly satisfying next chapter to
that story ah if only Star Wars would say higher damon lindelof but the guys
such as such a mixed bag in terms of results I can't believe I just said that
that's how bad the situation with Star Wars is I'm recommending they hire damon
lindelof alright now to be fair as i tweeted after seeing this movie there is
some cool stuff in the rise of skywalker uh and we'll discuss that first before
going over the bad but most of the discussion of the bad will of course
have to be saved for the spoiler review alright so what did I like well you know
what I really liked the main characters I like these actors I think they're
great Daisy Ridley is stuck playing one of the biggest Mary Sue's of all time in
large part because this trilogy has never had the time to properly develop
Rey but readily does what she can with what she's given she is a hundred and
ten percent believable as a Jedi Master and she gets to do some really cool
stuff here Ridley's athleticism is striking and I also think very realistic
you know she's an extremely realistic action hero I think she's great
Ridley also has a very expressive open face which makes her mesmerizing Depp
actually I would think that's the right word mesmerizing and her plethora of
close-ups her eyelashes are so long she seems not to be wearing any makeup but
she looks stick alright I can see what little
girls idolize right I really do she's very much a feminist hero including in
how she interacts with her male co-stars without giving too much away um I guess
I think I think the friendships that do you have between a male and female and
female characters I think that's really refreshing to see I liked that now sure
Ridley release ray is a bland hero but that's not her fault that's not the
actresses fault but what's not bland is the bond between ray and kylo Ren their
scenes continue to be electric when they're together that's very cool and
one can't help but wonder while watching them what kind of trilogy we might have
gotten if they had just made that if they had made though Luke Leia and Han
movie first and then focused on this new something that's new thank God from
Europe from the original trilogy you know for this for this new trilogy
rating kylo Ren have an amazing lightsaber battle that was very cool I
had a lot of flipping I liked it it was really neat and also they both seemed to
struggle which I appreciated you know a lot of us have felt Rey was like too
good too fast with the lightsaber but this was a very good battle and they
both have incredible force moments and I have to say Daisy Ridley in particular
is very good very good at the hand acting she's almost like Benedict
Cumberbatch and Doctor Strange I don't say as good
she was really selling the use of the force I thought that was great but they
also have the most fanservice moments in the movie
truly the Daenerys and Jon Snow of star wars and Wow
we finally got the Finn and Poe we've always wanted not any romance but a true
bromance they were great Oscar Isaac becomes the new Han Solo we always knew
he was meant to be and I can't believe it Finn is not only finally a
respectable character but a really likable one at that all of their scenes
mostly together are excellent and they captured the classic Star Wars magic
they were great I know they don't want to be Disney plussed but I would totally
watch a Finn and Poe Disney Plus series and that's probably when they would
that's the only real place I think they can go because I think going forward we
would like a totally fresh trilogy as for the droids Chewie and Lando they're
the droids Chewie now I mean neither here nor there I kind
of like the new conehead robot Android but I called droid but um you know that
ever really went anywhere now what's not so good all right so
again the fanservice the best example I can give you that's non spoilery is the
Knights of Ren there's been a lot of spoilery spots in the last few days
they're not spoilery they're like in the first 20 minutes of the movie they
really hit the ground running because they don't have it they have so much to
do and not enough time but they show at the beginning of the movie the Knights
of Ren following kylo onto a ship right and they act like they've been around
the whole trilogy not like they were just thrown away and everyone was like
who are those guys instead they walk onto the ship and a stormtrooper says to
another one again in some very sloppy exposition oh look it's the Knights of
run and they're like oh cool I love those guys and you're like what is this
and also lied so read never do anything still they never really do anything and
so they just kind of walk around the movie like they wandered out of Monty
Python in the Holy Grail but they're not even funny it's embarrassing
a lot of this movie is embarrassing really it's embarrassing like the
stormtroopers they're just too incompetent at this point it's no longer
funny it's ridiculous I mean they kind of maybe give a reason for that we'll
discuss that in the spoiler review but it's not good enough but speaking of
funny at my press screening a number of times the audience laughed at the movie
and it's sloppy desperation to be what was once unanimously loved it's just
trying way too hard and one person who got laughed at the most was Richard II
Grant which is kind of sad because he's such a big star Wars fan in real life
but again maybe that's the problem he wants it too bad he wanted it too bad
when he was making the movie and that desperation really comes across on
screen I'm also sad to say that inserting Carrie Fisher into this movie
did not work she actually has a lot of screen time but it's obvious when it's
just old footage of her either digitally inserted or when they throw in a body
double from behind right there like I'm not not even Carrie Fisher that's
somebody with her hairstyle and her scenes are written around the
dialogue she recorded for former movies and they're not well written around
dialogue which makes the scenes not only seem disjointed I mean you cannot all
organic you're like I know exactly what you're doing but also they make leia
come across as passive and detached in those scenes something that leia never
was in any of the movies she's famous for being the opposite of that
so it's kind of sad to see that's what's to become of general Leia and her final
chapter there's also speaking of well you know
obviously Carrie Fisher tragically passed away but there's a lot of death
in the rise of Skywalker like a lot of it so many people died on
both sides sure and they're mostly like like extras but there's like a lot of
people who died and it's really shocking how little the remaining characters care
and how quickly they move on for instance one character dies a fiery
death and everyone's like oh no and then something good happens that everyone's
like woohoo and the music swells and you're like that character just died
like there's no gravitas you know it reminds me of Narnia The Chronicles of
Narnia movies or those kids let all those mythical characters to their death
and they were like that was that didn't go so well I'm gonna go home now I'm
gonna go I'm gonna go back to my bedroom in England and you guys just all der
dead like it was kind of like that it was weird also the new female characters
while highly likeable are you so sparingly and are it's just really a
waste of time it's a waste of their time to play the characters and to design
them and it's a waste of time that could have been used on the characters that we
already have that need more time finally there are a lot of big reveals many
which have unfortunately been spoiled already online but some of not some I
think somewhere a surprise to me but they range from again sloppy and
desperate to quite frankly infuriating and that and what's infuriating about it
is that clearly Disney JJ Abrams and Kathleen Kennedy are willing to stoop to
the lowest depths with no shame to try and win the fans back I really had a
problem with it there was one thing in particular and you'll know when you see
it which made me really angry alright so Star Wars the rise of
Skywalker is sloppy desperate and totally without integrity and the
neutral but the new trilogy actors I think do a really nice job and maybe
again this could have been something if they made that Luke
I am just the one off first and then just started fresh with this new story
or at least a chapter which you know didn't was an overcrowded you got
glimpses of that here when they focus of course more on the earth was supposed to
be the original trio and the villain that they're facing so so Avatar The
Last Airbender so should you see the rise of Skywalker
if you're not a Star Wars fan honestly I'd skip it but if you are a Star Wars
fan even a casual one you need to ask yourself do you want to finish the story
and on that note it's like what kylo Ren says I know what I have to do but I
don't know if I have the courage to do it and either you have to see this you
know mediocre somewhat annoying movie just cuz you know you wanna you want to
sit through it and see what happens or even though you love Star Wars you're
gonna miss it because you want to send Disney a message you want to have the
boycott operational right so my question I guess now also to you is what do you
have to do between those two things and do you have the courage to do it now if
you're just maybe you don't care about all this you're like mistakes aren't
that high grace well then I would say yeah go out of curiosity you know if you
know if you're like me you just I'm really it's hard for me not to finish a
story so go for a matte name but I think the repeat viewing for this movie is
gonna be horrible and that's of course gonna affect the box office but you
never know with Disney but we'll see we'll know of course
soon enough so that's my non-spoiler review for the rise of Skywalker a
spoiler review coming soon so be very careless poil this movie you might want
to be careful in the comments section but right share your own thoughts down
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