- So, yeah,
I just eat, two hours of the day,
and then the rest of the day, I drink water.
- I don't know how you do that,
I feel like I would get so hangry.
- I don't know, I feel like I have pretty good self control.
Plus, in the middle of the day, I have three olives,
so that helps.
Which reminds me-
that's weird.
Where are my olives?
- Oh. (chuckles) Just relax-
- You shut the hell up!
If I find out
that you ate my olives, Ryan,
I swear to God, I will-
oh,
here they are (chuckles)
duh doy. (mutters)
Anyway, you should really think about this diet,
it's, like, super easy.
- Every diet ever.
- Cindy, that diet looks like
it's really working for you,
you look great.
- Oh, well, being vegan isn't really a diet.
- Oh, geez.
- What?
Hold on,
what I was gonna say is,
being vegan isn't really a diet,
it's a lifestyle.
(groaning)
What? You brought it up!
- No!
No!
- I just grind up soap and slurp it down with a straw.
- So, wait, how does your diet work?
- Well, I have a juicer, so,
just all my meal are liquid.
- You can have whatever you want, as long as it's liquid?
- I mean no, I,
I have to eat fruit's and vegetables-
- Whatever I want, as long as it's liquid?
Huh.
Hmm, why won't this liquefy?
Oh, duh,
I forgot the milkshake.
Dummy,
I'm a little dummy.
Here we go,
yeah.
There we go!
- Caveman diet, ever heard of it?
You eat like a caveman.
- I heard the paleo diet is actually bad for you.
What? No way!
No, it's the exact same diet they had during caveman times,
before processed sugar and gluten.
It's the healthiest people ever were.
It's super healthy. - Oh, okay.
(grunts)
- Come on, man.
Just diet, it's a state of mind,
just starve yourself.
- All right, I've gone 60 days
only eating boiled vegetables,
fruit, and rice with no seasoning.
My insides should be clean as a whistle.
And as a reward,
I will give myself
a single piece of steak.
Oh, here we go.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Oh, look at that,
oh.
Here we go.
(grunts)
Oh, it hurts!
Ahh, digesting hurts!
I'm going in for more!
I like the pain!
The pain is good!
Yes!
(screams)
Oh, my insides are too clean!
Ahh, it burns!
Ooh, but it's worth it
because this is my treat!
Okay, okay, I think it's getting better.
I don't think it's that bad.
I think I'm okay.
Here we go, here we go.
(screams)
Ow!
Ow,
why, God?!
It was worth it!
Ah!
- What you have for dinner last night?
- Hey, I'm gonna order pizza, what do you wanna-
oh, wait.
Dang it, I forgot, you can't have cheese.
- No no, that's vegans, I'm a vegetarian.
- Oh, right.
What's the difference?
- So, vegans can't have anything animal-related,
Vegetarians don't eat animals,
but we can still have things like cheese and eggs,
animal products.
- Oh, I see.
So, if morality was a marathon,
then vegetarians would be, like,
in it for the participation trophy.
- Yeah, exactly.
And those of us that are vegetarian for health reasons
are sorta like stolen valor.
Oh, could you get that pizza with pepperoni?
I'm obviously going to pick them off
and throw them away, but
I just like the flavor.
And, we should buy a television.
- I mean, this is just a good exercise.
- It is.
- Love your body, love yourself,
love Chimichangas.
- Hi mom!
- Oh, baby, hi!
Oh my God, you're so skinny!
You need to eat! - No, I'm just-
- You're cheeks are hollowed, dear.
You look like you've been starving yourself
for some sort of climate-change protest.
Fill up!
- Uh uh.
Uh uh.
- Wha- honey!
You're spoiling your appetite for dinner,
I'm making tamales, do you hate me?
- How do you know how to make tamales?
- God!
- Bet they're gonna be so authentic.
- I like a diet where I can eat
three healthy meals a day and a cookie at night.
(whistling)
- Hello, sir.
Do you have time to talk about
the Lord?
- Ah, I don't,
but, do you have time to talk about the keto diet?
You see, if you don't eat any carbs,
and you drink way too much water,
your body goes into ketosis.
Lemme ask you a question, brother.
Do you wanna save your internal waist line?
- Um, I'm really more of a carb-type guy.
- Totally, totally.
But, what if I told you there's a better way of eating?
What would you say?
- I'm sorry, I really have to go,
I don't have any time for this,
I'm so- - Can I at least
give you some literature to read?
- No, no.
- Hey, why don't we read it together,
in case you have any questions, brother?
Hey, brother, come back, dude,
we need to not eat bread for the
rest of our lives.
- I'm a very natural person,
I don't do anything that wasn't done before caveman times.
- How ironic, because we're at a
Dunkin' Donuts - Dunkin' Donuts, I know,
but, the primordial ooze, out of which we crawl?
Baby, that was at Dunkin'.
- Well, I would, but I'm paleo.
- No way.
- Yeah, that's where you eat only
things that are pale. - You only eat-
- So,
it's like cheese, bread,
paste,
like glue paste.
- Wow, what a delicious milkshake, rib-
rib-shake. (chuckles)
Guys, this has been a joy, this video.
Diets are crazy.
We have more incredible EBE's for you to watch,
they're all somewhere.
Somewhere, just find 'em.
And, if you haven't subscribed,
I highly recommend you do so.
And, you can check out our store at smosh.com,
just tons of awesome shirts
and other stuff.
Just.
Just, just great.
Anyways, stay healthy, stay safe and
have a good day.
You know.
I'm not gonna drink this.
(behind camera encouragement)
I'm not going to drink this.
I'm not going to drink this-
I'm not gonna drink this!
(laughs)
It's so gross.
(laughs)