You had a good date. You’re open to seeing him again.
He said at the end of the date he’d talk to you soon. And now you don’t know what to do.
Once upon a time, it was a given that a man would pick up the phone and call you to ask
you out on a second date. But now, with texting, social media and the blending of gender roles,
it’s become a lot more confusing as to who is supposed to do what and when.
On this Love U Podcast, I'm going to explain how to handle texting after a first date.Stick around.
I'm Evan Marc Katz, dating coach for smart, strong, successful women and your personal
trainer for love. Welcome to the Love U podcast. Keep listening to learn how to handle texting
after a first date. When we're done, I'll let you know how you could apply to Love
U to create a passionate relationship that makes you feel safe, heard, and understood.
This one's going to be short and sweet because I don't think it's nearly as complicated as many
people make it out to be. In Love U, week eight, we do an entire unit on first dates.
I believe that it's the man's job on the first date to demonstrate in action that he's a serious
dating candidate. If he's listening to my dating advice, and no men are listening to me right now.
But if he's listening to my dating advice, the guy makes plans in advance in my perfect world. He
confirms those plans. He checks in on you during the week before those plans. He builds up trust,
excitement, rapport, and anticipation. He chooses some restaurant-bar that's close to your home,
that has some character and some atmosphere. He asks you questions. He listens to your answers.
He doesn't hijack the conversation to complain about his exes or dating in general, he picks
up the check at the end of the meal. Maybe he's got a plan for what to do after the meal.
That's a guy who's doing a good job of giving in general women what they want on a first date.
Your job is to give the man positive reinforcement for all the things that
he's doing for you that you think are working. What does that look like on the date? You look
him in the eye and touch him on the hand and touch him on the knee. You hold his bicep when
he's walking down the street. Maybe you ask him questions, laugh at his jokes,
thank him profusely for planning the evening, paying for the evening. And if you want to see
him again and he makes a move at the end of the night, kiss him back like you mean it. That's it.
You've done all that, you've demonstrated your interest right there on the date, you do not
have to text him the next day to thank him. You do not have to remind him you're alive,
that you want to see him again, or to ask him out again, and you don't have to do anything other
than be the kind of date that I just described. If a man is having a great first date with you,
it's in his self-interest to follow up with you, to tell you that he had fun and would
like to see you again. And if he doesn't do that, that either means he's not interested,
or he's so impossibly shy, insecure, passive, or stupid to the point that I don't know why
you'd want to date a guy who doesn't know that it's his job to ask you out again.
Guys got the memo in third grade that it's our job to be the aggressors for better or worse, to call,
plan, pay, make the first move, and ask you out again. After an amazing first date, realize
you're free. You gave him a great reaction on the date, that's what he was going for, a great
reaction on the date, and you don't have to follow up with him. When he follows up with you, respond
quickly, respond enthusiastically, respond warmly to his entreaty to say, “I want to see you again.“
Do you follow up with a man after a first date to thank them? I know you think it's polite. And
certainly, I understand the argument that it's polite. While I can't argue with politeness,
I do argue with the efficacy. Just like the CEO doesn't have to follow up with the intern to thank
the intern for the interview, it's the intern's job to return to the CEO. I believe an interested
man will, by his own volition, follow up with you. If you showed him a great time on the date,
you don't have to follow up afterward. Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Thank you so much. I will talk to you soon. My name is Evan Marc Katz. Thanks for tuning
into the Love U podcast. For more episodes like this on YouTube, click on the subscribe button,
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And if you want to find love right now and you're committed to making healthier choices with
men so you can have that relationship in which you feel safe, heard, and understood,
look for the link below. Fill out an application and join me in Love U.
https://www.evanmarckatz.com/love-u-live-application-register/