Okay.
Let's actually think about what we're gonna say first.
Hey there, this is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you are looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard
to get, and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not because
I believe that you deserve to be loved for the unique, wonderful person that you are.
And if you agree with me, do me a favor and give this video a thumbs up and go ahead and
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Today, we are talking about long distance relationships and I've noticed that there
are a lot more people engaging I long distance relationships these days and I think that
maybe that's due to the fact that we live in a more of a globalized world, where people
can move from one city to another, from one country to another pretty easily.
People can work online, people can do all of this stuff.
And so, it's possible to engage and connect with people, but then have to move away for
school, move away for work, move away for any number of other reasons.
But with that being said, here's a some general advice about long distance relationships.
Number one, don't go out of your way to intentionally get into a long distance relationship.
Long distance relationships are hard.
They are harder than a typical relationship where you live in the same local area as the
person that you're in a relationship with.
They can stir up all sorts of issues with jealousy and trust and missing the physical
contact that you might get with somebody else.
And if you're not equipped to deal with that, then don't even step into a long distance
relationship.
You know, one of my sayings is you can do whatever you want as long as you're okay with
the consequences of it.
And if you're not okay with the consequences of a long distance relationship, such as the
missing each other, such as the holding the phone up to your ear talking for so long that
you get like this kind of weird heat sensation on your face, and you start to wonder, hey,
is it healthy to have the phone up your head for this long?
I've been there, I know what that feeling is like.
The issues of trust, the issues of jealousy, the issues of how long is this gonna last?
The issues of just missing, holding somebody, feeling somebody, having somebody hold you,
having somebody feel you.
If you're not okay with all of these challenges, then you should not even consider being in
a long distance relationship.
Now with that being said, I do understand that sometimes people get together, and then,
the twist of fate and life and circumstance pulled them apart into different places on
the world, the country, the state, the province, the whatever.
And in cases like this, if you are in a long distance relationship, number one, please
have some sort of finish line in sight.
Nothing can kill the passion in a long distance relationship faster than just not knowing
when it's gonna end, just knowing that it's gonna go on indefinitely.
People want to be together, people want to be close to one another and it's really hard
when you're not close to the person that you love, so make it easy by giving the two of
you some sort of finish line, some sort of deadline.
Like, hey, maybe when this assignment at work is over, I'll be able to move back to your
city or once I finish school, I can move over and be with you or whatever it might be, but
know what your finish line is, so that both of you have something to work towards, something
that you can both move towards together.
The second thing is you wan to avoid having the long distance relationship become some
sort of idealized fantasy version of life.
You know, yeah, you're gonna probably go visit each other, you're gonna probably talk, you're
gonna probably text back and forth and all that stuff.
And when you do that, you want to like really play it up because this is the person that
you're into, this is the person that you're in a relationship with, this is the person
that you probably want to impress.
And so, you're gonna do things like, when they come to visit you, you're gonna go on
some sort of great getaway somewhere, your gonna show them the best of your life, you're
gonna really try to impress them, but don't make that mistake of only showing them that
because that gives them the false impression of what life together with you is like.
Instead, also show them some of the boring day to day activities of your life, too, like
going grocery shopping, like doing laundry, like all of the things that, you know, all
of us humans have to deal with because that gives them a better idea of what life with
you is actually going to be like once that deadline comes and the two of you are actually
able to be together in real life because nothing will be worst than thinking that, hey, I'm
gonna be in a relationship with this great person.
All we're gonna do is go on weekend getaways to vineyards and do all these romantic wonderful
things and there's gonna be, you know, trails of rose petals to the bed and all of that
stuff.
And really, they're just a person who's making tuna fish sandwiches on Sunday night for the
work week ahead or something like that.
So, definitely make sure that you are setting expectations appropriately for what life with
you is like, okay.
Of course, do the great things, celebrate the time that you have together but just make
sure they also know who you actually are yourselves, okay.
And then, of course, the third thing when it comes to long distance relationships is
that you really want to make sure that you have a strong foundation of trust.
Now trust and all of that stuff is a very complicated thing that would take probably
another video or two or several videos to explain, but you want to make sure that you
have trust between you and them because if you don't trust each other, then that's when
that jealousy is gonna fester, that's when that suspicion is gonna fester, that's when
it's gonna be like, hey, who is that person that you keep hanging out with?
Who is that classmate that you keep studying with?
It's gonna start to get out of control and it's going to start to pull your relationship
apart, so make sure that the two of you absolutely can trust one another.
If you can't trust one another, then this is probably not a good idea for you to continue
forward with a long distance relationship.
Anyway, this has been Clay, thank you so much for watching this video.
If you like what we're doing, give this video a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel and
I'll talk to you next time.
Take care.