-We work on a police force full of dudes.
We got to have each other's backs, okay?
-You're saying you have my back?
-Yeah, I got your back.
Don't smile. I'm still mad at you.
-I thought we were having a moment.
-Moment's over. Shut up.
♪♪♪♪
-Hiring him to play his own party was straight-up brilliant.
-Yep. Because everything he does is a prank on himself.
-Wow! You're an evil genius.
Next time I want to hurt someone,
I'm coming straight to you -Aww.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Are you afraid of needles?
-I don't like being stabbed by someone
so they can steal my blood I'm crazy.
-[ Gasps ] This is amazing
You're scared of something I'm not.
I'm tougher than you. I'm tougher than Rosa.
I take it back! I'm so sorry
Sure you're ready to go through with this?
-You know what? Today was stupid.
But seeing you both overcome your fears did help me,
and I think we've all grown as women.
-Okay. -I'm ready.
Stab me! Stab me!
Do it! Just do it! -Rosa?
-I'm psyching myself up! Aah
Aaaaaaaah! Don't look at them!
Look at me! Do your job!
Drain me!
-You weren't in the bathroom
You were at a park bench playing on your phone.
Yeah. You left me to do everything
while I thought you were pooping.
[ Scoffs ] I wish you were pooping.
I wish to God!
-I'm sorry.
-Oh. Rosa crying.
Don't know what to do.
Pat, pat. This feels wrong
-When Jake was in witness protection and I didn't know
when he was ever coming back
you were always there when I needed to vent.
So I'll do your paperwork.
And if you ever want company on that bench, I'm there.
-Thanks. -Great.
It's now time to choose from the remaining players
Amy, since you're last year's champion, you go first.
-I choose Rosa. -Dope.
-Ugh. This is taking forever
Can't you just forge the signatures?
-I'm a notary, Rosa. You can't say stuff like that around me.
I could lose my stamp over that.
-Never met anyone who cares so much about stupid bureaucracy.
Bureaucracy's not stupid. It's elegant.
It's a beautiful puzzle waiting to be cracked.
Every rule, every form has its purpose.
It all fits together, and when the puzzle is solved
and you take a step back and see the big picture,
it's like staring into the face of God.
-Hey. We moved up a spot. -Oh.
-You seem like a real nerd
-So, I can spare four uniformed officers to do hourly pass-bys
of the bodega south of 4th and I'll coordinate with
the, um, hourly bass-pys of the --
-Wait, what was that?
-That was me talking about hourly pass-bys.
-No, yeah, I heard about the hourly pass-bys, twice
I meant...
That subtle side look. -[ Scoffs ]
There was no subtle side look. -You're right.
'Cause it wasn't subtle. It was an unsubtle side look
at that dress in the shop.
Why are you being such a nut job
about looking for a wedding dress?
-Because being a female sergeant is difficult.
I have to work twice as hard to gain my officers' respect
and looking at girly dresses isn't going to help.
Plus, it's a new job, and I need to make it a priority.
-Dude, I get that, but if you want a beautiful wedding dress
you deserve to find one.
Looking, there are no cops around.
Nobody's gonna see you.
Why don't we just take our break now,
try one on?
Okay? -Okay.
-Okay? -Okay.
-Okay?! -[ Chuckling ] Okay.
-Hell yeah!
They are closed. We will come back later.
-Yeah.
♪♪♪♪
-So? What do you think?
-Hm, I don't love the sash
but it's fine. I'm just gonna get it.
-What? That's the first one you tried on.
I once saw you look at 54 different accordion folders
and not buy any of them due to weak tabs.
-I file hard. I need strong tabs.
I just don't want to take up any more time.
-Your break's not even a quarter done.
-I'll stay another 10 minutes.
-You'll stay until I dismiss you.
Irene, music. [ Classical music plays ]
Now spin.
[ Beep ] -All units,
attempted 10-30 Charlie, bodega on Smith.
Perp is heading east on Baltic
-That's us. We're on Baltic!
Oh, crap! That was him!
-Hey! -Amy,
you are an amazing cop and a great leader,
and you have proven that a billion times over.
You can't let other people's opinions get in the way
of what you want, especially because other people suck.
-Well, if I'm being honest
I would like a prettier dress. -There you go.
-And I would like it to have some lace.
-Uh-huh. -And a sweetheart neckline
thank you very much. -What else?
-And I want a mermaid cut with tulip sleeves.
-Say it again. Say it loud
-A mermaid cut with tulip-frickin'-sleeves!
-You guys need any pointers on a cool high five or something?
I could...