(MUSIC PLAYING)
I am Groot!
Slow down? We can't slow down.
This bounty is worth a million credits.
And we almost got it.
I am Groot.
What do you mean, "Get a new ship"?
(EXPLODING)
(GASPS)
Running just like the day I bought it.
GROOT: I am Groot.
Of course, I see it, I'm not going to let us...
(SCREAMS)
Uh-oh.
GROOT: I am Groot.
(GROANING)
GROOT: I am Groot.
ROCKET: I told you, our ship is fine.
Just help me scour the junkyard for some spare parts.
(GRUNTS) Whoa!
(EXCLAIMING)
You have a fine eye for machines, my friend.
That beautiful, mint condition,
restored, classic ion drive starship can be yours
for only three million credits.
(RECORD SCRATCHES)
I know you're attached to our old junker, Groot,
but you know what? I think it's time to get a new ship.
Three million credits, huh?
So, how much we got in the bank?
Huh, we've got some work to do.
(CHUCKLES) I am Groot.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ROCKET: Well, since we need a ton of credits for our new ship
and have zilch, we're gonna have to actually work for this.
Let's check the outstanding bounties.
Too monstrous. Too deadly.
Too ugly. Next.
Wait. What?
Aw!
It's cute, it's cuddly,
and it's worth a million credits.
This bounty will be a piece of cake.
I am Groot.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot.
This planet is soft and colorful and cute.
And it's making me krutackin' sick.
Where is this little fur ball?
Hello!
Eh, nothing. This is like trying to find
a gum drop in a candy store.
Huh?
(PURRING)
I am Groot.
Yeah, he doesn't look like his profile pic.
ROCKET: We're gonna need a bigger gun.
Here, kitty, kitty.
(LASER SHOOTING)
(SIGHS DEEPLY) That was supposed to work.
(GROWLS)
I am Groot!
(GROWLS)
(PURRS AND MEOWS)
(MEOWS)
Shh...
(WHISPERING) No, no. Don't speak.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
So beautiful...
But we're not gonna get that ship
by just dreaming about it.
Enough bottom feeding, Groot.
We gotta start aiming for the top.
Bounty on this guy is 500,000 credits.
I am Groot...
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
ROCKET: All right.
Get in the restaurant, nab this alien
without any fuss, and be on our way.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Hey, we got somebody to meet in there.
I am Groot.
I could never permit someone
with such horrid personal hygiene
to enter
this establishment.
I haven't taken a shower in six years
and I ain't about to start now.
(GRUNTS) I'll show you some personal hygiene, you stuffed shirt...
Groot, put me down.
No way. I am not getting in there.
Hey! Hey! (EXCLAIMS)
Stop it!
(GRUNTING)
Don't touch me!
(ROCKET GRUNTING)
Not getting in there!
(WATER SPLASHING)
I cleaned up to get into your stupid restaurant.
(CLENCHING TEETH) Let us in.
I was not speaking of your hygiene.
I was referring to his.
I am Groot.
Imagine, an unpruned topiary in this establishment.
Not now, not ever.
(CHUCKLES) I am Groot.
(GROWLING)
I am Groot.
(SAW WHIRRING)
when it's short enough.
I am Groot!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
A massive turnout here with racers from all over the galaxy,
competing in this year's Nebula-thon 500.
Will returning champion Blackjack O'Hare once again
take home our prize of 500,000 credits?
(ROCKET GRUNTS)
And this can go. (GRUNTS) And this. (GRUNTS)
(CONFUSED) I am Groot.
I gotta lighten the load of the ship if I wanna win.
What other dead weight is there?
Uh, Groot, you should go to the bathroom now.
I'm not making any stops.
Sorry, pal.
But we need this prize.
(SCREAMING) I am Groot!
Uh-oh.
All right, got my game tricks.
That O'Hare doesn't stand a chance.
On your marks, get set, go!
(ENGINE ROARING)
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Eat my dust, suckers!
Uh? I hate that guy.
(CHUCKLING)
ROCKET: How about this?
(GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLES) What the...
Hey, that's cheating. (SHOUTS)
(ROCKET EXCLAIMING)
(CHUCKLING) Huh?
(EXCLAIMS)
Mmm?
(ROCKET SHOUTS)
(CHUCKLES)
Oh!
Why, I oughta...
(EXCLAIMS)
ROCKET: Ow!
I am Groot.
(EXCLAIMS)
(ROCKET CHUCKLES)
Exactly as I planned!
I'm a genius.
(BEEPING)
(SIGHS)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Okay. That should hold this bucket of bolts together.
(NAIL CLINKS)
GROOT: I am Groot!
I am Groot!
(SQUEAKS)
(WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING)
(SPRAYING)
(CRACKING)
(SPRAYING CONTINUES)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Ah!
(THUDS)
(WALTZ MUSIC CONTINUES)
(BOTH GASPING)
(TREMBLING) We really do need a new ship.
I am Groot.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ROCKET: Get back here, you pointy-haired freak!
Filthy bounty hunters, leave me alone!
Don't let him get away, Groot!
That shapeshifter's worth half a million credits.
I am Groot!
(GRUNTING)
(YELLS)
(BEEPS)
(MUMBLES)
(GROANING) Huh?
What are you waiting for? Get him!
Don't fall for that. He's the bounty. Come on.
(MUMBLING)
(BOTH YELP)
This is ridiculous!
It's me!
I am Groot.
I'm the real Rocket. Look, I know I don't tell you enough,
but we've been through a lot.
And I would never wanna face the galaxy without you by my side.
Aw. Mmm?
(CLEARS THROAT)
You, wood for brains, waste of space!
I'm gonna bust your branches
if you don't get me outta here right now!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
I am Groot!
Yeah, yeah, me too.
So, what are we gonna do with our shapeshifting friend?
Hey, stop playing with that!
I am Groot.
(SQUEAKING)
I don't like this!
(BEEPING)
(COW MOOING)
I am Groot.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ROCKET:
we need to try new and fancy tactics.
You see that creature there?
That ugly thing creates droppings of pure gold.
I am Groot?
No, they aren't those kind of droppings.
Well, I don't think they are.
All that matters... Gold!
Now be real stealthy.
Trust me, you do not want to wake this thing up.
Bingo!
That ship will be mine!
(GRUNTS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(GIGGLING)
(CLANKING)
(GRUNTS)
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
(SIGHS) Phew!
(GASPS)
(THUDDING)
(GROWLS)
(ROCKET EXCLAIMS)
(ROCKET SCREAMS)
(PANTS)
(SCREAMS)
(GROOT PANTING)
ROCKET: Oh, come on!
(SHRIEKS)
(WHIMPERS)
(CLUCKING)
ROCKET:
(CRACKS)
I am Groot.
(WHIMPERS)
I am Groot.
Ugh! Now we gotta go back
and return this hideous baby.
Can't I win just one time?
(MUSIC PLAYING)
GROOT: I am Groot!
Well, how was I supposed to know
that rock monster was a lady?
I am Groot.
You're hungry? I'm starving to death.
I could eat my own fur!
Ugh!
Groot. Grocery shopping is not our strong suit.
I am Groot.
Wait. The burgers at this restaurant are how thick?
I am Groot!
Okay. I think I can figure out how to get there. Let's go.
AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE:
I am Groot.
Who needs a GPS when Rocket's at the controls?
AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE:
ROCKET: Hey, don't worry, this black hole's a shortcut I know.
Recalculating.
I told you, shut that thing off.
I'll get us there any minute.
Make a legal U-turn.
ROCKET: What? Hey, these weren't here before.
Who left their asteroids lying around?
Severe temperature warning.
ROCKET: Too close to that sun?
Ridiculous. (CHUCKLES) This is just the normal temperatures.
It's all in your head.
Returning to previous route.
ROCKET: No, it's not. That's a completely different black hole.
Groot, I'm telling ya, this is all part of the shortcut.
It's just a really long shortcut.
AUTOMATED FEMALE VOICE:
I am Groot!
You have arrived at your destination.
This is all your fault.
Why didn't you tell me it closed so early?
If I knew that, I wouldn't have taken the shortcut!
(FLIES BUZZING)
I am Groot.
Sure, why not?
(MUSIC PLAYING)
All right, Groot, if we can pull off this one job,
it will be all we need to get that new ship.
Oh.
Mmm.
(GASPS)
(GRUMBLING) Stupid tie.
(GASPS)
What kind of creatures are you?
And where are your invitations?
(CLEARS THROAT) Greetings, Duchess.
Allow me to introduce His Majesty,
King Groot of the Arborous Empire.
What a pleasure
to host such prestigious cosmic royalty in my home.
DUCHESS: Welcome, King Groot.
If there is anything I can do to make your stay more memorable
I hope you'll let me know.
(CHUCKLES)
(GRUNTS)
(SNICKERS)
(SQUEAKS)
(CHUCKLES)
(GASPS)
Huh? Uh-oh.
(SCREAMS)
GROOT: I am Groot.
DUCHESS: We dance together so divinely.
Don't you think?
Oh! (LAUGHS)
Thieves.
What...
GROOT: I am Groot!
ROCKET: Run!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ROCKET: Hurry up and get those parts to fix the ship, Groot.
We got some bounty to catch.
Wow, this 20th century technology is really impressive.
(BEEPING)
(THUDDING)
What?
Something's eating the wires?
(SQUEAKING)
Sounds like we have an intruder.
Come on. Show yourself, you nasty little ship eater!
(SQUEAKING AND MUNCHING)
A rodent!
You're destroying my ship! (GRUNTS)
(SHOOTING)
Hmm.
Oh-ho! You can't escape me, you ugly little rat!
Think you can hide?
Let's do this the old-fashioned way.
(GRUNTING) Yeah!
(SQUEAKING)
(SHUSHING)
Huh?
(SQUEAKING)
(SHOOTING)
Think you can outsmart me, you little... (GRUNTS)
(CRUNCHES)
Hmm?
Okay, ah! Where are you hiding, you little monster?
Show me what you got.
Just the two of us.
(SQUEAKS)
I got you now!
Groot! (GRUNTS)
(MUNCHING)
I am Groot!
(SQUEAKS)
(SQUEAKING)
(BEEPING)
We will never speak of this.
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
Mmm. I am Groot.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(ELECTRIC BUZZING)
(SLURPING)
(PLAYFULLY) I am Groot. I am Groot.
We only have half the money for that new ship.
Let's check the bounties one last time.
It's only bounty hunting. Nothing personal.
(SCOFFS) I am Groot.
What do you mean I am morally questionable?
I always do the right thing.
Wait.
I am Groot.
I always do the right thing.
One and a half million credits
for this tree trunk. Right?
(SNICKERS)
Not that I'm counting or anything.
Oh, wait. This creature gets real testy
if he doesn't sleep with his stuffed dragon.
(SADLY) I am Groot.
It's just bounty hunting. Nothing personal.
(SADLY) I am Groot.
(LAUGHS)
Mmm...
(WAILING) I am Groot!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
(KISSES, GIGGLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES DIFFERENTLY)
(CHUCKLING)
(BEEPS)
Huh?
(THUDS)
(SHOUTING) I am Groot!
(BEEPS)
I am Groot!
ROCKET: What took you so long?
I hear ya.
Let's go buy a ship!
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ROCKET:
Let's go buy that ship of our dreams, Groot.
(THUDS)
What a beauty. Take my money now!
(KISSING) At last, you're mine!
I'm afraid not. During your absence, due to economic issues,
there was a small price increase.
What?
Come on. You're a dealer, make me a deal!
I do have an idea.
Take it!
What a bargain!
ROCKET:
Keep unpacking your stuff
while I enjoy... (BREATHES DEEPLY) That new ship smell.
Yeah, yeah.
You love that old helmet of yours.
Nostalgia's fine. But I look the future straight in the eye.
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXPLODES)
Instruct you in what behavior is appropriate on board a ship of my stature.
Really?
Too fatty.
No, there is a speed limit in this sector.
No, too retro!
Too noisy.
Too tall! Too long! Too bushy!
Stop!
Take us back to the Junkyard.
ROCKET:
Oh, I am so sorry.
What?
You thief... (EXCLAIMS)
Give me back my old ship.
Your former ship happens to be a classic, one-of-a-kind.
You never knew what you had, did you?
But if you want to make a deal,
(SNARLS)
What a steal.
ROCKET: Come on, Groot. I know you love that old helmet,
but look on the bright side. Our classic ship is back.
GROOT: I am Groot!
ROCKET: Yeah, yeah. No one likes to be told, "I told you so."
(MUSIC PLAYING)