[Music]
what is up guys karma medic here and
welcome back to another dose if you're
new to the channel then hi my name is
nasser and i am now a final year medical
student studying at king's college
london and in today's video we're going
to be doing some reflecting now if you
know me at all then you'll know that i'm
not much of a reflector but as i said in
my podcast with kenji and other podcasts
on the karma cast which if you're not
subscribed to already please go check it
out i'm actively trying to become a more
reflective person someone who takes the
time to think about the things that are
going on why it is that i'm feeling the
way that i do in an effort to do that
here we go for better or worse i am now
in my final year of medical school just
deeping that for a second i'm in my
final year of medical school i've been
in university for about nine years now
four years at the university of toronto
shout out u of t and then almost five
years now at king's college london
that's almost an entire decade spent in
higher education that is one third of my
life part of me wishes that it was 10
years just so it could be a nice even
number but at the same time i'm so done
i don't even want to do one more year of
this like nine years is plenty and now
obviously with this shift from being a
medical student to being a doctor
there's going to be this huge transition
in my life i think no matter how much i
try and prepare myself for it and how
much i try to think it through i'm just
not going to be prepared like a lot is
going to change it's all going to happen
so fast and it's kind of nerve-wracking
kind of similar from when you leave high
school and you go to university now i'm
gonna finish university and start
working entering the workforce full time
five days a week or more depending on my
rota it's a really big step something
that i really had to think about for a
while because it was always so far off
like you know yeah it's in three years
from now it's in two years from now it's
from one year from now it's just so far
away that i never really had to sit down
and actually think about it properly and
to be honest with you i'm feeling a
little bit scared a little bit nervous
part of me thinks oh my god how am i
gonna make such a huge jump and then the
other part of me is rationalizing and
being like you know what hundreds and
hundreds of medical students have done
this exact same thing just before you
some of my closest friends have done
this exact jump in the last two or three
years so you know if everyone else has
done it surely i can as well it's
absolutely wild to think about where we
started the other day i was filling out
my applications for my job to be a
doctor in a couple of months one of the
questions was when did your course start
and so i had to go look up the course
starting date which was back in 2017
and i was just sitting there staring at
the number thinking about how different
things were back in 2017. i remember
back in 2013 when i first got rejected
from all the medical schools that i
applied to here in the uk and i moved to
canada of course to do my undergraduate
degree at the university of toronto and
you know all of my high school friends
they went to the uk i was literally by
myself in canada my sister was in london
i was by myself and i remember being so
upset and so heartbroken i was
devastated that that had happened i
thought it was going to be the worst
thing to ever happen in my life and it
turned out to be just the exact opposite
of that it was just impossible to see at
the time then of course i went through
those four years of my undergrad at u of
t easily the hardest four years of
education i've ever had u of t is just a
completely different thing anyone who's
been there will know exactly what i'm
talking about it's an extremely highly
academically oriented school there's a
lot of pressure to perform very well
consistently over a four-year period
which if you're trying to go to medical
school is absolutely necessary because
you need the grades to then apply to
medical school and it can do wonders for
your mental health in
2016 i was grinding finishing out my
degree at u of t and then writing uh two
entrance exams for both uk and canadian
medical schools the mcat and the ucat
and applying to medical school in two
countries at the same time very very
difficult i honestly wouldn't wish it on
anyone but you know i was really
determined to get into medical school
and i knew that if i applied in multiple
countries i would increase my chances
and blah blah blah and thank god i did
because here we are today that day that
i actually got accepted into medical
school i was on this like grass field at
u of t i remember calling my mom and i
just started crying in like the middle
of the day i was like walking around
this grass like crying i was so so so
happy all the hours all the years of
effort and work had finally paid off and
now five years later i'm like finishing
medical school i'm finishing that thing
that i worked so hard to get into and
it's just it's um it's a little bit
surreal to be honest with you i'm
actually almost a doctor almost there
literally just a couple of months and
i'll be a doctor on the wards taking
care of patients with real
responsibilities which is just mad i
have mixed feelings about it on one hand
i'm really excited because it's quite
literally as i just said something i've
been working towards pretty much my
whole life my entire adult life to reach
this end goal you know i mean and now to
be here it's such a great feeling on the
other hand when you finally achieve
something that you've been working so
long for you just get this like big
emptiness inside of you i'm sure you
guys have experienced this with things
like um final exams when you study for
like months and months and months and
then write your exams as soon as you
finish them or the day after you kind of
sit there thinking like what now so i
feel like i'm about to go through that
but on a much bigger scale over the last
couple of years i've watched every last
one of my friends enter the workforce
before me you know those who studied
accounting engineering law philosophy
and even medicine they all entered the
workforce a good one two three four
years ago and i look at all of them now
and i'm yet to see someone who is so so
happy in their job who really loves what
they're doing loves life most of my
friends and most people that i've met
you know they just they do what they got
to do and they move on with their life
and this honestly kind of sounds like
the worst case scenario which i just
hope doesn't happen to me it's a huge
reason for why i chose to study medicine
in the first place i just thought and i
still think that medicine can provide
for me a continuously changing and
interesting career one that i hopefully
won't be able to get bored of and one
that i don't think i could replicate
anywhere else before we move on to the
rest of the video it's time for an ad
from today's sponsor squarespace from
websites and online stores to marketing
tools and analytics squarespace is an
all-in-one platform to build a beautiful
online presence and run your business
their website builder makes it easy for
someone like me with no knowledge of how
to make a website to custom design one
from scratch what i like most about
squarespace is those customizable
templates each designed by a world-class
design team to help you fit your own
personal brand their websites are also
optimized for mobile devices so that it
looks great whether you're looking at it
on a phone a laptop or a tablet and you
can even manage the entire website from
an app on your phone my friend an
amazing photographer aaron who takes a
lot of my photos on instagram has his
portfolio on his website that he built
using squarespace there's loads of other
features like powerful email campaigns
built-in seo and in-depth analytics
tools whether you want to start writing
a blog selling things online or sharing
your photography portfolio do it with
squarespace head to squarespace.com for
a free trial and then when you're ready
to launch go to squarespace.com slash
karma medic for 10 off your first
purchase of a website or domain all
right now back to the video but of
course as with anything that you do in
life you know the more and more you do
it the more repetitive it becomes the
less interesting it is and the more it
becomes like a task or a chore but i
have faith in medicine that it will sort
of not to do this to me it won't betray
me and it'll keep me interested and
engaged and
you know fulfilled for a long time to
come between right now and the end of
medical school we've got a couple of
things going on i've got a couple more
rotations i've got some big exams coming
up and i go into a lot more detail about
this in another video which i'll leave
link somewhere up over here if it's
already out but to be completely honest
with you i'm not too worried about it
you know we'll have some exams we'll
have some assignments we'll have some
rotations nothing that is going to be
too too challenging nothing hopefully
that i'm gonna fail if i put in enough
work and time and effort studying for it
so it's more about just keeping on top
of my schedule you know doing what i
actually need to do and hopefully
everything is gonna go fine
the one thing causing a little bit of
stress up in the noggin is the
situational judgment test um i've talked
about this in detail in that other video
but basically it's this one big test
that counts for 50 of our entire score
which determines where in the country we
will be placed as working doctors and so
if i want to stay in london close to my
friends close to my family close to my
girlfriend and sort of in the big city
where i've lived for the last five years
and where i want to be living for the
foreseeable future i need to score very
very well so it's a little bit scary to
think about how much rides on this one
exam there's a lot of factors at play
and a lot that could go wrong but um you
know i think if i put in the work i do
my collaborative studying with you know
kenji georgina i use all the resources i
possibly can and i put in the effort and
the work then everything should be fine
the more importance that i give to this
exam and the more that i think about it
in my head then the more likely that i
am to psych myself out and end up
letting the nerves get the best of me
come exam day so i'm just going to take
it one step at a time and we'll see how
it plays out as a final year medical
student one of the biggest things that's
changed for me is my attitude towards
being in the hospital and my attitude
towards talking to patients now when i'm
on the wards and when i'm taking patient
histories and doing exams i'm like
really really focused and thinking about
what it is that i'm being told what i'm
asking what i'm listening for because
you know in a couple of months like it's
gonna be me again but all the decision
making and responsibility is gonna fall
on me right now i'm in the privileged
position where i can do all of these
things but the ultimate responsibility
is not mine but in a couple of months
that won't be the case so i'm paying
extra attention to sort of the lesser
taught aspects of the job of being a
junior doctor so obviously you need to
know your medicine you need to know how
to handle certain clinical emergencies
but you know you can learn a lot of that
from a textbook as well as obviously
being in the hospital but some of the
things that you cannot learn on from a
textbook are like you know how to use
the computers how to request
investigations like chest x-rays bloods
ultrasounds how to document properly in
the patient notes in the format that
most consultants wanted written in how
to prescribe medications properly using
the online electronic system you know
these are all things that i can't learn
from a textbook i can't learn from my
computer at home i need to actually be
in the hospital standing side by side
with an f1 doctor and being like can you
please walk me through this can you tell
me if i'm doing this right etc so these
are the things that i'm trying to learn
right now one thing that i feel is going
to happen when i graduate medical school
is that i'm just going to have this
identity crisis both personally for
myself and for this youtube channel you
know from my entire adult life i've been
a student and specifically a medical
student for the last five years and this
entire youtube channel is centered
around the idea and around the fact that
i am a medical student so to lose that
as sort of a key identifying part of me
and who i am and this channel is gonna
be a big change but hey i'm here for the
change i'm evolving as i go along and
you know i'm also doing it in public
which makes for an interesting
perspective i think definitely opens me
up to a lot of vulnerability but i think
learning in public and showing my sort
of process of going through these
changes is not only helpful for me but i
think it could be helpful to other
people as well i think certainly when
i've been in places in my life where
i've been uncertain or unsure about
myself or about something that i'm doing
watching other people talk about their
experience on the internet has been
crucial for me you know youtube videos
have always been a source of education
for me a source of comfort a source of
entertainment it feels only right to be
able to give that back as opposed to
just sort of posting about the finished
polished product when it's all said and
done without showing the process as i go
along one step at a time one day at a
time one task at a time i'll make it and
of course you know i'll be here on
youtube documenting this entire
transition to becoming a doctor and then
life as a doctor so you know subscribe
to stay tuned if you haven't already and
i think that's it for me guys just a
short quick one i wanted to like get
these thoughts out and reflect a little
bit about my time in medical school
because if i don't make this video about
it i'm gonna forget all these thoughts
and feelings in the near future and i
won't have something to look back on to
see just how i was feeling at the time
and what was going on with me i promised
myself i'd be a more reflective person
so here i am i'm taking the steps to do
it staying true to myself you know if
there's anything else that you'd like to
hear my thoughts on anything else that
you want me to reflect about please do
let me know in a comment down below i'm
definitely not opposed to talking about
it in a video like this as opposed to
some of my more organized and structured
videos and on that note make sure you
leave a like on this video and subscribe
to my channel to more content from me in
the future and i'll catch you in the
next one peace
you