- The reason I moved to your country
is 'cause I wanna follow my dreams,
and I feel like this is the country
you can follow your dreams in.
(audience cheers) Yeah, people will be like,
"What's your dream, Chris?"
Fucking, follow your dream."
I'll be like, "I wanna be a rapper."
They're like, "Not that dream. Do a different dream."
(audience laughs)
It's true. I love rapping. I do freestyle rap.
That's rap that's improvised, it's made up on the spot.
It's based on suggestions.
And, so, what I want all of you to do
is think of a word, a topic, or a phrase
that you'd like a rap about,
preferably not food or animals,
just cause they're quite unimaginative.
Be creative, be mad, you know?
Come up with crazy shit. Like, ninth century crop rotation.
- [Audience Member] Pluto
- That's one of my favorite ones. One second.
(audience laughs)
Let me tell you the best one,
'cause Pluto's kind of boring, right?
Like, I had a German guy who said,
(German accent) "A day in, in life of an Aztec high priest."
(audience laughs) Yeah.
(normal accent) Wait, so there was a conversation before.
There were conversations about you
calling him Daddy during sex? Is that . . . ?
(audience laughs)
- Yes. - Yes. Okay. That's cool!
No, don't
Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it.
(audience laughs)
I would like to take that as the first suggestion,
just because you said Pluto but that's boring,
but I've never rapped about-
Oh. - Pluto is very interesting!
- It was very interesting?
No, I disagree. I think that . . .
(audience laughs)
I'm just saying, usually I let you choose the suggestion.
No, the first one's gonna be that
because it's more interesting than Pluto
and no one's ever said it before
and it's usually quite hard to find a suggestion
that no one's ever said before
'cause I've done this, like, 20 years,
so I wanna get some fun ones, so.
Is your hand up there?
- No. - No, you were just like,
"Oh, I'll move out the way for them to take my plate," cool.
If you have a rap suggestion, you're up.
Let's come over here.
What do you guys wanna hear a rap about?
- [Audience Member] Frodo Baggins.
- Frodo Baggins, cool. Thank you, yeah.
Thank you for going for the slightly nicher one as well.
Yeah, cool cool.
Frodo Baggins. Great, Frodo Baggins, daddy sex.
People over here, what would you like a rap about?
(audience laughs)
- [Audience Member] Space Force.
- Space Force! Oh cool! Yeah, yeah.
That's a blast from 24 months ago.
(audience laughs) Let's come
to the people at the back of the room on this side,
what do you want a rap about?
- [Audience Member] Tea.
- Elon Musk. - You said tea?
(audience laughs)
He said Elon Musk, but that comes up a lot. That's boring.
Do you drink tea?
- [Male Audience Member] RedBush tea.
- RedBush tea?
(South African accent) Are you South African?
- [Male audience member] Yes I am.
- You are South African? Oh, diplomatic communities!
Right. (audience laughs)
(normal accent) RedBush tea! RedBush tea-
- Flannel. - daddy sex, Frodo Baggins.
You said flannels?
- [Audience Member] Yeah.
- Oh, as in because flannels. Ah, I see.
Do you also, you call them wash cloths, don't you?
In the UK, a flannel is a wash cloth. Isn't that fun?
This would be called a checkered shirt.
(audience laughs)
So flannel, RedBush tea, daddy sex, Frodo Baggins.
Let's get one final one.
- Irish independence. - Steph Curry.
- Irish independence and Steph Curry. Great!
And Space Force.
This is too many suggestions, but we'll try.
You may need to remind me, so try and remember all these.
we've got Space Force, Irish independence, Step Curry,
flannel, daddy sex, Frodo Baggins,
it's gonna be absolutely wild and crazy.
And it is, it is! You doubt it, but it is!
'Cause I got my band, and they've got some beats.
Let's see which one you're gonna pick out your bag of beats
this time.
(drum beat) (audience cheers)
Ooh! Listen to that!
I believe that is what we call "boom back."
It's gonna be good.
And lets, hey, we'll begin with the gentleman over there
who shouted it out. Yes. Cool.
♪ The first word, the suggestion comin' out your face ♪
♪ Get a branch of military up to outer space ♪
♪ Taking off ♪
♪ Maybe Cape Canaveral down below ♪
♪ Where they visitin'? ♪
♪ Definitely not Pluto ♪
♪ I apologize ♪
♪ Shit suggestion I will slam it ♪
♪ Used to be one of the nine of the planets ♪
♪ And then all of astronomers, they were like, "nah ♪
♪ (acapella) Pluto, you're basically a very big star ♪
♪ (with beat) It doesn't even count ♪
♪ Or maybe a moon ♪
♪ Space force, Donald Trump was like ♪
♪ "It can't come too soon" ♪
♪ Taking off there, yeah, we're new to this ♪
♪ He just likes the movies of George Lucas ♪
♪ He was feelin' inspired by the Star Wars ♪
♪ They designed the little logo on a course ♪
♪ Hold the applause ♪
♪ Anybody who gave it an inspect ♪
♪ They would see it's just the logo for Star Trek ♪
♪ They cheated that stuff ♪
♪ I'm havin' it large ♪
♪ Why did they have the Space Force ♪
♪ With the outfit camouflage? ♪
♪ That didn't make sense ♪
♪ Space is an abyss ♪
♪ (acapella) No one can hear you scream ♪
♪ No one can hear you hiss ♪
♪ (with beat) Makin' any noise ♪
♪ I'm having fun, yeah, see ♪
♪ Over there, oh, in NYC ♪
♪ People at the back let me say it in the place ♪
♪ At the front of the stage you be starin' at his face ♪
♪ Saying, "This is amazing. Please shag me" ♪
♪ That means sex in England ♪
♪ "And call me Daddy. Call me Daddy ♪
♪ Call me Daddy. It's so fun" ♪
♪ If you call him Daddy, does he call you Mum? ♪
♪ I try and make sense of that, I'm a goner ♪
♪ If I was saying "daddy" and she called me Mama ♪
♪ That's the back-to-front way but it doesn't even matter ♪
♪ After having sex, please don't call your dad up ♪
♪ And say, "'Sup, Dad? I'm reminded of you ♪
♪ I thought I should give you a bell ♪
♪ Yeah, how do you do? ♪
♪ Ah, that's really cool, yeah ♪
♪ Fun to handle ♪
♪ (acapella) What you wearin'?" ♪
♪ (in deeper voice) "Oh, probably some flannel" ♪
♪ (with beat) Your dad wears flannel, that's totally fine ♪
♪ He be out there in the sunshine unwindin' ♪
♪ Wears flannel, same pattern on the front and back ♪
♪ (acapella) Maybe in a little forest like a lumberjack ♪
♪ (with beat) Cuttin' down the trees ♪
(audience cheers) ♪ Choppin' away ♪
♪ You be pointin' those threes like Steph Cur-ray ♪
♪ Ooh, a nice link! ♪
♪ Playin' for Golden State ♪
♪ (acapella) Used to be good, used to be great ♪
♪ (with beat) And he's still pretty good ♪
♪ But the team are more whack ♪
♪ He struggles there, tried to keep the team on track ♪
♪ He's like, "Come on guys! Come on you dudes! ♪
♪ I'll serve up the threes, you serve up the twos ♪
♪ He's too small to dunk, still pretty hunky ♪
♪ If he's in the Hall of Fame, not the top three ♪
♪ But probably the top 10 ♪
♪ Anyway, he plays ♪
♪ (acapella) Good on Steph Curry ♪
♪ I hope you come back someday ♪
♪ (with beat) Doin' well in your team ♪
(audience cheers) ♪ Risin' to the top ♪
♪ Now I know we had some more, yeah? Help me up a lot ♪
♪ You can help me, Sir ♪
♪ Shout it out from your mouth there ♪
♪ (acapella) What's the other suggestion? ♪
- Frodo Baggins - ♪ Frodo Baggins ♪
♪ (with beat) Not Bowser, that would've rhymed ♪
♪ (off beat) Oh it go- Yep ♪
♪ (on beat again) Back upon the beat ♪
♪ And I'm trynna take care ♪
♪ You were like, "F.B. best hobbit in the room ♪
♪ Got the big hairy feet and he's climbin' Mount Doom ♪
♪ Granddad Bilbo taking out the ring ♪
♪ Gonna find the horrible little Gollum thing ♪
♪ (in Gollum's voice) "Yes Frodo Baggins ♪
♪ You should all respect us ♪
♪ (acapella) No, gimme the ring! No, gimme back Precious!" ♪
(beat continues)
(audience cheers and applauds)