-You have a million things happening.
You have movies, you have TV things,
stand-up things.
But you also have now another radio show...
-Yeah. -...on Sirius XM.
-Started today.
I´m just doing a few series a year on Sirius.
Just Me -- -It´s called...
-"Ricky Gervais is Deadly Sirius."
-[ Laughing ] Yeah, yeah. [ Laughter ]
-It´s just perfect for me. It´s just fun.
it´s just pure fun.
-And how´s the stand-up comedy tour?
This is, like, crushing it. -Ah, my favorite.
it´s my favorite. -You´re going around the world?
-This is nice. -Yeah.
-I saw you did a show in Copenhagen.
I don´t know if you remember doing that.
-My new favorite place in the world.
-It really is? -So cool, so liberal.
It´s just great. It´s brilliant.
-I saw this photo you posted. -[ Laughs ]
-And I go, "Oh, ´When in Copenhagen.´"
This is the photo I saw. -Yeah.
What -- What I do. [ Laughter ]
-Is everything okay? I mean, is everything...
-I know. Yes.
I like -- I like taking bath pics.
-Yeah, bathtub pictures. I have seen these, yeah.
-And so it started -- I started doing
a sort of relevant bath pic wherever I was.
Like, in Scotland,
I have a little ginger hair and a little kilt on.
-[ Laughs ]
-And then in Canada, I have a moose outfit.
And then, in Iceland, I was a Viking.
But that was Copenhagen, yeah.
-But how do you even get a costume like this?
-Well, I planned it, right? [ Laughter ]
So, me and my girlfriend went
to a sort of a fancy dress shop -- right? --
to get that. -Yeah.
-And I was too embarrassed to ask,
in case he recognized me, so I sent Jane up.
Right? And she said,
"Have you got a mermaid outfit?"
And the bloke said, "is it for you?"
Right? And she went, "Yes."
Right? [ Laughter ]
And then she thought, "Oh, no".
She went, "Yeah, not for me exactly,
but an adult bigger than me." Right?"
[ Laughter ]
And the bloke went, "Okay". And she was looking,
and she goes, "Yeah, that one is fine.
I got the wig picked out."
And then he went -- And she bought it, right?
And he went to her, "Someone is going to have a good weekend."
[ Laughter ]
-And it wasn´t true? No, no, this happened.
This is what came out of it. Yeah.
I want to hear more about your stand-up tour.
Is this your...
Jerry Seinfeld told you to do more stand-up?
-Jerry Seinfeld can´t -- he doesn´t understand
why me and Chris Rock do other things
when we can do stand-up.
He doesn´t understand why we do movies.
And I sort of -- I agree now, because stand-up was always,
like, the second or third thing I did.
I always thought I was a writer or director or actor.
And now, on this tour, it´s my favorite thing I do.
Now it comes first. I can´t wait to do another tour.
So, yeah. -Really?
-Yeah, I think -- -Why do you love it so much?
-I don´t know. I think -- I think I´ve reached the...
I´ve got old-people´s rights, so I can say what I want now.
[ Laughter ]
-Old people´s rights. -It´s just such a privilege.
You know, the people coming out. I have so much to say.
And I -- I don´t -- And also --
And I called it "Humanity," because I thought it´s time
I let the world know what an awful species we were.
[ Laughter ]
-Wait, you don´t like humanity? -It´s basic.
No, it´s basically me whinging about the world
from the most privileged position imaginable.
[ Laughter ] I think -- I think --
No, but I think people think I´ve got a perfect life.
And I sort of have, but it doesn´t mean
I don´t moan about everything every day.
Everything annoys me.
A letter comes through the door, and I think, "Oh, what is that?"
I don´t want to do anything but play, so everything.
When I say "everything," I mean "people."
I´ve -- I´ve -- Honestly. [ Laughter ]
Everything about people annoy me.
-People annoy you? -Oh, oh, they´re the worst.
[ Laughter ] They are the worst.
-People are the worst? -They´re absolutely worst.
This world would be better without them, right?
[ Laughter ] So, no, honestly.
-But you are a people. -Yeah, I know. I don´t like me.
[ Laughter ] I don´t like me.
-But what about a restaurant or something?
-If I go in a restaurant, it´s got to be empty.
if someone comes in, I go, "Oh, why are they here?"
[ Laughter ] No, honestly.
Even the waiter annoys me because he´s sniffing.
Sniffing really annoys me.
But someone next to me eating loudly.
Why does he... [ Mimics loud eating ]
I want to go, "Oh, what is wrong with you?"
[ Laughter ]
Has no one ever told you that jamming, sniffing,
this [Snorts]. [ Laughter ]
Oh, you pig. You absolute pig.
-What is that? -I don´t know.
People do that. They chew with their mouth open.
Whistling. Why do people whistle?
Why do they whistle? It´s the most inane thing.
Look. [ Whistles ] Why are you whistling?
Even people emptying my bins at 6:00 in the morning.
Like that´s not loud enough.
They´ve got to add whistling to wake me up, right?
[ Laughter ] And in changing rooms.
Men whistle in changing rooms.
Men walk around whistling in changing rooms.
They´re sort of going, "I´m not looking," right?
They just sort of... [Whistling] like that.
And then they -- Then they walk around naked --
right? -- for 10 minutes.
They´ve had their shower, and then they walk around naked.
Why do men walk around naked? I know it´s a changing room.
But they do their hair, they´re still naked.
[ Laughter ] They weigh themselves naked.
I want to go, "Put some pants on and then weigh your..."
It doesn´t have to be that accurate.
You´re not a boxer. You know what I mean?
[ Laughter ]
it´s just like, put some pants on,
weigh yourself, and take off an ounce.
-Yeah. -But the worse thing is,
they just do their hair in the mirror naked,
so I can see their arse and their awful
in the mirror, right? -Yeah.
-They do their hair like that, and then some of them
even do the... -Oh, no, no! No, that´s not...
-Why are they styling that? That doesn´t need to be styled.
It´s fine, right? [ Laughter ]
Everything annoys me. People annoy me.
-Does anything not annoy you?
-Dogs. [ Cheers and applause ]
Dogs don´t annoy me. -[ Chuckles ]
-Dogs don´t annoy me. -Dogs are the only...
You love dogs? -A dog can eat as loud...
If a dog is going, "Mmm, mmm, mmm",
I´m going, "Aww, bless it. He loves his food."
He can eat as loud... [ Laughter ]
If a person was to eat like that,
I´d take him to the vet.
I´d go, "Something is wrong. Put it down."
[ Laughter ] "It doesn´t -- Put it down".
-You guys, Ricky Gervais.
Go see him perform stand-up on his "Humanity" world tour.