Translator: izumoto kenta Reviewer: Claire Ghyselen
Today, I would like to talk about the design of shyness.
I am used to giving presentations in front of a large audience
compared with other people because I'm a college professor.
But as you can see, I am very nervous about it.
(Laughter)
I'm usually a nervous person, you see.
But there is one thing that makes me more nervous than presentation: parties.
Large conferences often attracts more than 100 people.
They talk to each other and create good relationships.
After a conference, many of them start collaborative projects.
That's the purpose of conferences.
I always want to talk with a person who has done a great presentation
so I want to take a chance to speak with them.
But the speaker is already having a nice chat with someone else.
I'm afraid to interrupt them and say something boring.
While I hesitate I stand alone, aware that everyone else is enjoying.
I feel embarrassed so I look for someone I know to go and talk to.
I sometime end up looking for someone and not finding anyone.
Students and active people alike participate in such events.
I'm confident some of them share the same negative feeling.
Some people might have thought in such circumstances
that it's already a good start when someone is standing alone,
that he or she should reach out and talk to that person,
or that he or she wouldn't participate in the first place because of shyness.
But I have to say one thing.
You don't have to compete with others
about being the most negative person in the world.
It's not the World Cup for Negativity.
(Laughter)
Today, we are living in a world where anyone can end up being shy.
We are living in an era of shyness.
Twitter is a good example to illustrate my point.
I like Twitter a lot, and I on a frequent basis.
Many people are following my tweets.
But I don't need to activate any "follow" button.
I am passive all the time: nobody interferes with me.
How much I communicate or follow someone is solely up to me.
Everybody likes this app because we are not put under pressure by anything.
In this era where such apps meet success,
I wonder why we should force ourselves to talk to people in receptions.
Spontaneous communication, without pressure,
should be enough in such parties, shouldn't it ?
Some of you might want to contradict this idea
and push people like me to become more courageous.
I understand that once, they were shy too,
that focused practice got them mastering smooth communication.
They must be thinking that if they could do it, other shy people can do it too.
But I always think
that this tremendous energy should be directed at something else.
Instead of consuming your energy to communicate only,
it is more beneficial to devote it to more productive things.
But I digress. Let's get back to the party.
(Laughter)
When I pondered upon the fact that not everyone was feeling comfortable
with the idea of partying, I started to think about getting comfortable easily
because nobody needs to be courageous to talk to people.
[With a twist to the party everyone gets comfortable]
In this case, I feel confident I can communicate smoothly
and everything will be fine.
Such a feeling fills me with hope when I enter the party room.
But then I realize that the party starts with a pantomime game.
(Laughter)
Pantomime!
Someone gives you a topic and you have to mime it.
The best pantomime gets a prize, so let's have fun, boys and girls!
A pantomime, exactly what I need, right! No way I'm going to do that.
(Laughter)
But of course, I don't find the courage to say this.
Other guests might think so too.
I hear your heart scream secretly, just like me:
"Please give me any easy topic, such as playing baseball."
But our wish never come true, right?
instead, I have to mimic the famous gag of a popular comedian.
People who become organizers usually are positive people,
good at socializing with others.
Most of them think that getting the right and fun mood will make the trick.
(Laughter)
But I would never entrust events to such people.
(Laughter)
I came to the conclusion
that I have to deal with this by myself, me, being a shy person.
So one day, at a conference,
I decided to implement a system to design the seating plan.
Let me explain it.
You can register your seating wish with an app on your phone or PC
such as your wish to sit next to a specific person, but in secret.
So the system automatically prepares a seating plan
that takes into account the wishes of everyone.
With such a system, you might get the chance to chat with that great person.
Some of you might even want to participate to parties organized with such a system.
Unfortunately, I am so shy in the first place
that I am not yet confident I can make it.
Imagine you can get your seat next to the person you are fancying to talk to.
He or she might think: "Why the hell am I sitting here?
I don't want to talk that person.
Hey wait! He is the one who wants to talk to me."
So your secret is disclosed wide open.
(Laughter)
Eventually, it is the same as asking that person to sit next to that her.
It's precisely what I couldn't do so this system doesn't solve my trouble.
I was trying to develop a sophisticated system
to get shy people comfortable with interacting with others
and at the same time, it was supposed to relieve me from my own insecurities.
So I thought harder from that point and changed the registration process.
Instead of registering who you want to sit next to,
you register your wish to have A and B sitting close to each other.
Such a system functions like a matchmaker between two people.
Of course, the point is that you register your name as A or B secretly.
The system allows you to do just that.
Imagine one more time that you get a seat next to the person you fancy.
That person might nevertheless wonder why she is sitting next to you.
She might get to the conclusion that it is indeed the result of your wish.
But wait a second. It could have been the wish of a third person.
There is space for doubt and this doubt is saving us.
(Laughter)
It's not complicated. It's just a little twist.
But unless you are really shy, you would not think hard enough
to get to this little twist.
Only a really shy person can think about a system that protects shy people,
with just enough discretion to feel safe and comfortable.
I call this twist "the design of shyness".
In English, t's called "shyhack".
The trouble with very shy people
is that they don't even dare to talk about their difficulties openly.
If you are not tortured by shyness, it is easy to believe
that making an effort to overcome shyness will be enough to solve the problem.
So you will not be able to truly get to the core problem of shy people.
I would be happy to see the environment getting more comfortable for shy people
and to see more and more people trying to improve their predicament.
But then, you might think that building a system is complicated.
You need to be a programmer to do that.
It so much easier if shy people get over it and overcome their fear.
The probability of such a reasoning is indeed high.
It is true that I am an introvert and I get nervous around people
but I could handle it because I am good at programming.
But I'm not always organizing events.
So even though I'm a good programmer pople don't use my system all the time.
So, when I am one of the participants,
I always get well prepared with some kind of "shyhack".
My favorite "shyhack" consists of wearing my favorite T-shirt.
In fact, I am wearing it right now.
I like Twitter, you know.
when I wear this T-shirt at a party, it attracts people to me.
They come and ask me if I like Twitter,
or if I am tweeting, or if I have a Twitter account.
I don't need to do the first step and this is such a huge relieve.
On top of that, I just need to talk about Twitter, about what I like to do.
It's like playing home. It's another kind of "shyhack."
(Laughter)
It happens that I don't have enough energy though
to attend the party hat I have to attend.
There are time when I don't want to speak to anybody, when I have no energy left.
When it's the case, I bring my camera looking good and expensive.
So even if I stand alone at the party I must attend
I look like the cameraman covering the party, right!
(Laughter)
"Never feel embrassed" is another one of my "shyhacks."
Some guests might ask me to take a picture of them.
So I just do as they ask.
If the person I fancy to talk to is getting close to me, I feel lucky.
So I answer that I do indeed look like a cameraman
but that in fact, I am a guest too.
Everybody can do the Twitter T-shirt "shyhack."
What do you think? Don't you think you can do it too?
If an introvert person can solve his shy problem by himself,
it will be a relieve for those who share the same trouble
and those who deplete their energy to barely get over their fear.
I think that a shy person is a genius
if she can figure out her problem and see the need to solve it quickly.
The more you are shy, the more you will find new designs.
[What about you? Nervous? Bored easily? Freezing in front of the opposite sex?]
Unlike me, you could feel comfortable at parties
but get so nervous when you make a presentation that you can't speak up.
Or you feel comfortable with talking to people you don't know
but you give up before you start a new activity.
Other people worry about getting bored easily.
You could also feel positive in almost any situation,
unless you are talking to someone of the opposite sex.
You might have pondered for years about the ways to change yourself
without being able to do it.
I think we need to try other ways.
So let me invite you to think about your own design to solve your shyness.
This is your homework.
(Laughter)
Thank you.
(Applause)