- Your foot was like,
- I know, Esthy?
- Esthy had like a diabetic--
- Esthy had a diabetic ulcer on her foot, and like toward--
There was, like, one point, in Australia,
when the doctor looked at her foot,
and it's bad when a doctor goes, ugh!
- Yeah.
- Like, it was like that. - Literally, he was like, ooh!
And I was like, is it that bad?
And he was like, mate, you're uh,
(laughs)
your foot looks like a pumpkin.
- The song started with Rostam.
He had this really cool track of just like...
- Like a pulsating--
- Pulsating kind of guitar riff
that we use a lot in all of our songs.
We usually don't ever write to like a,
- Track. - Track or a song
that already has chords, but we were so immediately
inspired by it, and the song just kind of like,
poured out of us.
- This song kinda started out,
Danielle was going through post-tour depress,
it kinda sounds so fucking crazy
to say post-tour depression, but like.
- Yeah, I think I was just kind of
going through a dark time. - But it was building,
yeah, and it was building from the time
that we started touring, and I think that you kind of
get into this routine of like,
writing the record, putting out the record,
then touring, coming home, writing a record,
putting out a record, touring again,
and granted, it's something that we love to do so much,
but we weren't really addressing some of the things
that were happening in our personal lives
and our health, and like,
and I think you can only put those things off
for so long, and then it kind of starts
to rear its ugly head into your life in different ways.
- I think the opening line really has to do with,
when you wake up in the morning and you look
at yourself in the mirror and you truly
don't recognize the person staring back at you.
- You're going like this.
Is that me?
- You kind of be-- - Is that me?
- I've actually done that in the mirror before.
- You don't grow up with the tools
knowing how to deal with the voices in your brain.
- You're emo emotions.
- You get super emo,
and that line kinda speaks to just really not knowing
what to do or what steps to take,
or what path to kind of follow.
- Obviously, your brain can tell you crazy shit,
all the fucking time, and your heart is wanting to speak out
and feel love, and it's kind of like a constant war
that's going on between your head and your heart.
- It's literally--
- That voice.
- A voice in your head that's telling you,
you're worthless, and there's like,
just really, really dark shit,
things that I would never say to another human being,
I say to myself constantly.
I don't really have control over it,
but once I named it, I could at least tell it,
stop it. - Stop it!
I think it's just the darkest place you could ever be in.
- Yeah, I think it's just going through it.
- Yeah, trying to find yourself, I mean,
it just takes time to kind of get out of this dark place.
- It's like knowing that all these things are happening
around you, but just truly being numb to it all.
- The rain is falling down along the ceiling,
you can hear the rain, but we can't feel it,
and that's truly what being numb is.
- I think that lyric speaks to being in a downward spiral,
or just spiraling, you know, when you're just like,
being paranoid.
I wish you were in my bed, I think it's just looking
for an escape, and maybe that's someone that you, you know,
your boyfriend or something, just kind of looking
for an escape out of just being so inside your head.
- I think that lyric kind of speaks to, you know,
you've hit rock bottom,
and the only way to go is up at that point.
It's kind of like giving yourself a pep talk,
I feel like, when you're in it,
you're constantly telling yourself,
we gotta do this, we gotta do this, come on,
we can do it, we can get out of it,
and I think the only person that can give you that pep talk,
like, you'll actually listen to, is yourself.
- I think the bridge really, I feel like,
encapsulates the whole song.
It took me a long time to just recognize what was going on
and to look it straight in the face and just be like,
yeah, I need help.
We're basically like, you need a therapist.
- Yeah.
- We will always be there for each other,
and I think that's kind of the best part of being sisters,
is that--
that we, I would never let you guys fall so deeply
and feel like you really couldn't get out of something,
you know, we root for each other.