Welcome back. In this episode, we're going to address how to deal with people who
feel entitled. Now, that's not a problem in America, right? Actually in this
episode, I'm going to empower you to empower those you care about
instead of enabling them. And what happens is we really want to help our
children grandchildren and employees but all too often, they get this entitlement
mindset. And so, I'm going to share with you how to require some skin in the game.
To teach responsibility and accountability. So, as we go through this,
you will get some insights into how to abolish entitlement mentality and make
your family, your employees, your company from "me, me, me" to "we" --together, we're
better.
I'm Doug Andrew. And I know what I'm talking about because I have witnessed
this thousands of times with very successful people. Who would come to me
and I would ask them, "Wow. How did you build this Empire? This incredible
business?" And they would say, "Oh, wow. My parents grew up during the Great
Depression. They raised me and taught me the value of work. I have worked so hard.
Man, my kids will never have to work as hard as I did." And then they would come
back 20 or 30 years later. After their adult children had moved back home
several times asking for handouts. And I would say, "How is it going?" And they go, "Doug,
I don't know what's wrong with my kids? They don't even know how to work." And I
would say, "Maybe you stole that from them. Maybe in your attempt to help them, you
are hindering them, always giving them handouts. Maybe you should have been
giving them a hand-up." So, we need to correct that and maybe abolish that
entitlement mindset which is not going to be easy. Now, I want to share with you
the story of 2 families that will help you understand what happens when we
start thriving and experiencing success. Cornelius Vanderbilt known as Commodore
was like the Bill Gates of his time. Richest man on earth when he died in
1877. And he amassed a 505 million dollar fortune. Now, that was in
steamships railroads transportation industry but he wasn't very
philanthropic. He only left behind less than 1% of that to charity central
university which became Vanderbilt University. Do you know it took 96 years
until 1972 before 120 of his descendants gathered together at
Vanderbilt University for their first family reunion? And there was not a
millionaire left in the bunch. It was all gone.
Now, we have a saying shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations. In
other words, he left all this money behind and they sat back. And the second
generation was okay. But the third generation, they were just like, "Oh, when
do I get my share?" In fact, he had a grandson that said, "It is left me with
nothing to hope for." Nothing definite to seek or strive for. Inherited wealth has
been a real handicap to happiness. Whoa! Now, I contrast that with Mayer Amschel
Rothschild. The Rothschild family. Now, I don't endorse these families by any
means. But they illustrate the point I'm making right now. Because this isn't just
the Vanderbilt family that dumped it in their laps. It's in Asia rice paddy to
rice paddy in 3 generations. Europe its clogs to clogs 3 generations. If
you just have all this money and you dump it in their laps, you're just
dumping fish in their lap. See, I'd rather leave behind how to fish instead of
dumping a bunch of fish in their lap and then you'll empower them. Otherwise,
you're enabling them. And they sit around with their hand out. See, when you leave
it in that fashion, it discourages saving money. It encourages extraordinary
consumption. And it takes families from 'we" to "me". "When do I get my share?" They
feel entitled. Well, the Rothschild... See Mayer Amschel Rothschild died in 1812.
And he built a banking dynasty in Europe. The Rothschilds had several children.
Among them 5 living sons. And they assigned each of these sons to European
capitals. And they would communicate back and forth with homing pigeons. When to
buy and when to sell. The point is when he died, he did not leave behind an
entitlement or any inheritance. He left behind a system, a repository. He captured
the wisdom, the knowledge, the attitudes, the skills and the habit. How to fish
instead of dumping a bunch of fish in their lap. So, in his system, I call it a
family bank. Now, this isn't a chartered bank like down the street. This is a
conceptual Bank. And so, for example, there were 3 basic rules. They loaned their
heirs money but the loans had to be repaid. So, if you needed help with the
college education. You had to get good grades, apply, you got a loan
and when you graduated and started making money, you paid the loan back. With
a nominal interest rate, just like any student loan so that your children and
grandchildren would have the same resource family bank to draw from. You
know, when I went to college, I came from a family of 6 as did my wife. And our
parents couldn't afford to pay for our college. We didn't expect them to. I
worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken 30 hours a week. My wife worked at a
bookstore. We got scholarships grants and loans. We
had skin in the game and frankly, we had better study habits. Then a lot of our
friends did who were just getting handouts. They were goofing off. And so,
when Sherry, my wife and I got married and had our 6 children we didn't want
any of them to think we would just pay for the college. We didn't. We required
skin in the game. They had to come up with as much as they could. They had to
work. And and if they wanted a semester abroad in Israel or Egypt or something
or New Zealand, it wasn't to some vacation. They had to save, sell their
motorcycle or a car. Come up with as much as they could. If they were short, they
never came with their hand out. "Hey, will you pay for? Can I have?" No. They said, "Hey,
I'm short $1,500. Could you loan me out of the family bank
1,500. And here's how I'm going to pay it back. And if I can't pay it back out of
earning money, I'll paint. I'll shampoo carpets. I'll weed. I'll mow lawns." They took
ownership in their education, every one of them. And they were way ahead of a lot
of their peers who were just given a handout. So, I've used a term "You must
have skin in the game." Empower instead of enable. Teach responsibility and
accountability. Otherwise they just feel like, 'Hey, you owe it to me." You know, this
is where the Rothschilds family then allowed those to share with other family
members from the good and the bad experiences. And they also met together
once a year to reaffirm their virtues and intentions. Ir they were sort of out
of the loop. So, it was a system based upon being responsible and accountable.
Stepping up to the plate and then the family bank could loan money or
match it and that empowered them. And guess what happened to the Rothschilds
wealth? It compounded. It grew, it flourished. The Vanderbilt fortune
dissipated and disappeared. So, as a financial strategist, I've reviewed
thousands of trusts. And I've actually educated many, many tax and estate
planning attorneys. To be honest with you, the vast amount of trust are set up
equal distribution. Because that's the easiest way. When a couple would come in,
an attorney would say after he found out their net worth, "So, how many kids have
you got?" Because what is he going start doing?
Dividing it up. That's the number one rule if you want to destroy. Divide and
conquer. No. United, we stand. But see it was so easy to just take their kids
names plug it into the boilerplate trust document. And then when they passed away,
they just take those assets in there and *Chop, Chop, chop* divide it up equally and dump it in
their laps and it ruins half of the kids in this country. "Oh, when do I get my
share?" So, how do we solve this? Instead of equal distribution, because there's
nothing more unequal than the equal distribution to unequals. Did you hear
that? When I say that, people do a double take. "What are you talking about?" There's
nothing more unequal than the equal distribution to unequals. Our Creator, I
do not believe gives equal distribution of blessings (let's say of health) to all
of us regardless of how some of us may choose to abuse our bodies, okay? I don't
think our Creator just goes, "Oh, you've been really horrible with all that stuff
you've been taking in addictions and you don't exercise. But I'm going to give you
the same equal distribution of Health as I do with these people who are exercising and
eating right." No. Our Creator gives us equal opportunities. Not equal
distribution. So, when I share that, many many people go through and learn through
my books and various educational episodes. How to rethink
their thinking to equal opportunities for their kids and their grandkids and
their employees. But not equal distribution. "I have put in my time for
15 years. I deserve a raise." What about the results? You're compensated based on
results not just because you put in time. And so, when we begin to foster
responsibility and accountability and provide equal opportunities but not
equal distribution. Guess what happens? People step up to the plate. They begin
to put skin in the game. They begin to contribute more and then they have the
same opportunities and they receive more. And it requires them putting a little
bit of skin in the game themselves. And then maybe you can match dollar for
dollar for every amount they save towards their college education. Or their
purchase of a first home instead of just thinking, "Mom, dad. Hello, will you pay for?
Can I have?" And they're always giving their hands out. No, you want to give them
a hand up. Never a handout. So, I realize this is a deep subject. But hopefully, it
is resonating with you. And if you would like to be empowered on how to abolish
entitlement mentality with those that you care about, how to lead your family
or your employees from "me, me, me" to "we" --together, we're better.
I would love to gift you absolutely free a copy of this best-selling book I wrote
called Entitlement Abolition. It has 12 chapters. The first four chapters talk
about the problem of how we get trapped. And there's all this abundance and we
just can't because we're just thinking about ourselves. And this entitlement
mindset. The last eight chapters of this book talks about how to free yourself
from the entitlement trap. And you'll learn about grandpa's camp and how to
have family vacations with the purpose and setup equal opportunity rules of
governance. Equal opportunity trusts. And so click on the link below and you can
receive a free copy of this just pay a nominal shipping or handling fee.
And as you dive into this, my hope for you is that you can abolish entitlement
mentality with those that you care about. And watch what happens as they begin to
take responsibility and accountability by putting skin in the game.