Population density around the world...
Population density
Population density around the world: it varies
It varies
And that makes it very tricky to find a lover you will cherish
you will cherish.
I spoke to a statistician on the matter he said "james I'm actually in a meeting can you
come back in an hour"
So I did and he told me what I'm going to say to you (he's going to say to you)
Statistically speaking my one true love lives in China (how will I find her?)
Statistically speaking my one true love speaks Chinese (and drinks many teas)
And I can't speak Chinese
Nor Mandarin Nor Cantonese
And, to be honest, those don't sound like languages they sound like
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
...staurants
In fact the difference in cultures
Would mean that I would need to learn
a whole lot more about China
than a series of cultural stereotypes
albeit told
in a quasi-ironic way
a quasi-ironic way
What's the point in going out on weekends?
You may as well stay in and lie in bed.
'Cos there are seven billion people in the world
and only seventeen of them are in the Old King's Head
I think governments around the world should spend their GNP on one big speed dating event
'Cos I don't believe in destiny I just think it's a way of dealing with entropy.
You say "James I met my girlfriend in a lido."
"These things really do happen you just have to wait and see"
I say "Yes, but you were working the lido."
"You added her on Facebook. I think that's creepy."
And I'm saying all these things in The Old King's Head
I've had three Staropramen's and I wish I was in bed.
But is that a group of girls walking in that I see
I recognise one and she looks at me
She's got bright red hair and Spanish eyes, electronic cigarette and a Foster's ice.
I want to speak to her but I've got the fear
Then suddenly I see her coming over here.
She says
"James I like your songs"
"and I think you're kind of funny"
"It doesn't bother me that you've got no money."
"The world's a crazy place"
"but it gets better"
"Come with me and we'll be terrified together."
Just be patient
and you will find her
You don't need to go to China.
Just be patient and you will find her
You don't need to go to China
Just be patient and you will find her.
You don't need to go to China
Just be patient and you will find her
You don't need to go to China