Hi, everyone.
Welcome to ALchemy.
I’m Alyson your ally in transformation.
Self-Love is like an ocean, vast, deep.
It’s fundamental to our well-being and can be approached from many angles: your mental
health, to daily routines and habits, to the quality of your environment and community,
to your subconscious programming.
Since every aspect influences the whole, it would be silly to try and fix one area without
examining the full mechanism.
So, we need a tool that can help us Love the entire package of who we are.
If it sounds like a massive undertaking, you’re right.
You’re a big deal.
However, if you automatically assume this has to be a painful, arduous journey, you
clicked on the wrong video.
Close the tab and come back when you have a sense of humor.
So imagine you’re at a Self-Love pot luck.
Mm.
Lucky for you, I brought a delicious framework for Finding Wholeness.
You could say it’s for Self-Love, Optimal Health, Self-Realization.
I use the term “Wholeness” because it gives us a simple, agnostic image we can envision,
someone who is complete, not missing any pieces or broken and fractured in any places.
With that said, I believe you have all the answers you need inside yourself already to
find wholeness, so I’m not going to provide a solution.
I also believe YOU are the expert on you, so I trust that you’ll hold onto what enables
your greatest good and the welfare of others and let go of the rest.
This is your work.
But... does it have to be work?
That’s where I come in.
See, I think our culture remains infatuated with the struggle.
And our circumstances and favorite narratives often reaffirm the many ways in which life
is a fight or uphill battle.
But because there is no shortage of suffering and injustice and sacrifice, this is exactly
why we don’t need Wholeness and Self-Love to be yet another steep mountain to climb.
More work.
Instead, what if our attitude toward Finding Wholeness was one of playing a fun and easy
game?
So glad you asked.
Today I’m going to teach you my favorite framework for Wholeness.
It’s a game called Keep, Toss or Transform and you can play it as a lighthearted way
to bring attention to any aspect of your life, and decide how it fits in the healthiest,
most whole version of yourself and the world.
The trick to Wholeness is two steps: identify and lay out all the pieces that make up the
Whole.
And then one by one, pick up something and ask the simple question:
Does this person, place, situation or object ultimately lead toward Wholeness or a more
fractured, fragmented sense of being?
If the answer is yes to Wholeness, Keep it.
If the answer is no, Toss it.
If the answer is sometimes-maybe-depends-could be-gray area, transform it.
Here’s an easy example: Pick up a piece from the personal habit pile.
This one is: social media.
Think for a second about how often and in what ways you use social media.
Then ask yourself: Does this lead to Wholeness?
If so, keep it.
If it is entirely toxic, toss it.
If you can adjust things so they lead to wholeness, such as lowering your screentime, following
motivational accounts, stopping the tendency to compare yourself, then transform it.
Another example!
Try reaching into the pile of Beliefs, and pick up a core belief you took on in early
years.
This one says: “People are untrustworthy.”
Just ask, is this belief ultimately leading to Wholeness?
If so, keep it.
If not, toss it.
If it has good intentions but needs reframing or served as a defense mechanism in the past
but it’s no longer necessary, transform it.
Okay.
Now it’s a time for you to try it out.
Reach into the pile called Relationships, and pick up a piece that represents one person
in your life.
Think about the style in which you communicate with them.
How do you experience connection?
What’s your attachment style?
How do you experience intimacy?
What’s the power dynamic?
Do you mutually agree on the terms and expectations?
Now ask yourself the simple question: Does the relationship lead to Wholeness?
And not just for you but also equally and mutually for the other person?
If so, keep it up.
If it’s absolutely toxic, toss it; step away altogether.
If some things need recalibrating but overall it’s carrying both people toward the goal,
transform it.
See, some day soon, maybe even later today, you will have an important decision to make,
or you will be in a questionable environment or conversation, or you‘ll be voting on
a law, and you’ll have to consider your own worldview and how your life and existence
and opinions affect and intertwine with others.
When you greet this moment, instead of just giving a knee-jerk reaction, or trying to
weigh the pros and cons in a hyper-logical or hyper-emotional manner, remember underneath
everything is the opportunity to move toward Wholeness, not just your own, but also others’
and the planet’s wholeness.
A simple framework like Keep, Toss or Transform can improve clarity and competency, help you
assess and reassess your values and priorities, and remember your overarching intention and
the North Star.
It’s like having a personal assistant.
Plus, we say we want to help people and change the world.
Can you really love or help someone if you’re unaware of how your choices, beliefs and lifestyle
have already affected them socially, economically and politically and globally?
Imagine if we each let Wholeness inform society and lead the way.
Imagine if we even designed our systems and institutions around Wholeness, and we ensured
all beings had equal access and opportunity to find Wholeness through them.
What would that look like?
Could work be healing?
It all begins within, and Keep, Toss or Transform can help.
Teach it to your friends, your kids.
Bring it into the workplace as a tool to improve company culture.
Your chALenge is to identify one aspect of who you are, ask yourself whether it leads
to wholeness and play Keep, Toss, Transform.
Comment what you discover!
And for some bonus ALchemy, here’s your 5 min contemplation.
Reflect on these questions and share your thoughts below: does your current worldview
and lifestyle permit everyone an equal right to wholeness?
In what ways does it cause others to become more fragmented and broken?
It’s always right on time to refine our definition of Love and play a little Keep,
Toss or Transform.
The future depends on how you live this moment.
I hope you choose wholeness.
Be sure to like, comment, subscribe, and share this with whoever it could inspire.
See ya next time on ALchemy.
Peace!