Heya playa, developing the confidence to talk to your crush in High School can be tough,
but figuring out how to flirt with them can be even tougher.
That's why if you're in the 9th, 10th, 11th, or 12th grade, I want to teach you a few techniques
to help you get started to flirt with your crush.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
When you're in high school, appearance matters.
But it doesn't always come down to how you dress or who you hang out with.
A bigger part of it is how you put your confidence on display.
That's why one thing you should focus on improving is your body language.
When you talk to your crush do you stand in a way that invites them in for conversation
or are you more reserved and tense?
Different actions carry different meanings.
And while there isn't one universal meaning behind crossing your arms or putting your
hands in your pockets, they generally come off like you're hiding yourself from the person
you're talking to.
So when you talk to your crush in class or in the hallway, try to not shift around too
much, instead try to keep yourself firmly planted in the ground to show them that you're
grounded.
Not grounded as in "you're grounded!", grounded in their presence.
You're showing them that you're willing to talk to them and listen and you're not just
gonna say something and then run away really quickly because you're nervous.
The next thing you're going to want to work on is how you interact with them.
A good way to start building a connection with them is to create a little bit of tension
that you both enjoy.
Tension usually gets a bad rap, it can make things awkward and silent or even make the
person question "do they like me?", "do they not like me?".
But if done correctly, it can help build just the right amount of tension between the two
of you.
One way to do that is to jokingly give them a nickname based on something you know about
them.
For example, if they're on the track team or they just like to run, you can call them
"speedy".
Or if they talk about something that is completely fair game like how they love Twilight, you
can make fun of them for that and tease them a little bit.
The thing about teasing though is that you don't want to them to feel like you're coming
off super serious.
You want them to know that you're half joking around and the best part is, if they start
teasing you back then you know you're building the right kind of connection.
When you're in that High School crush stage, a relationship built on being nervous around
them and constantly complimenting them simply as fun as teasing them and making them question
"does he like me or does he not?".
People are always wondering where compliments come into play, and I've covered this topic
before with my friend Coco Chanou here on YouTube but the simple and sweet answer is,
whatever compliments you give, don't leave them to fend for themselves.
And what I mean by that is, don't give compliments like "hey, you look really nice today" and
then end your portion of the conversation there, wait for them to respond and then carry
forward.
Because most likely you'll just get a "thanks" or an "aww" from them and then you'll be back
in the same place questioning, what do I say to carry this forward.
Instead, try complimenting them on something specific and then following up with a question.
For example, you can say something like "hey, you look really good in that jacket, where
did you buy it?".
Saying it like that will deliver the compliment and allow the conversation to continue, they'll
talk about where they bought the jacket and you can talk about where you buy clothes,
thus allowing you guys to continue connecting.
When it comes to asking questions, that usually serves as the gateway to start flirting with
someone.
Remember, flirting doesn't always have to be romantic or sexual, it's just you showing
a genuine interest in wanting to know about that person and willingness to engage with
them.
Asking questions that get them to show a little bit more of their personality will help them
feel tremendously more comfortable around you.
I know what you're thinking, what kind of questions can I ask them though?
I was thinking things that are relevant, for example you can talk about school, you can
ask them if they've seen any recent movies, ask them what their plans are for winter,
summer or spring break, ask them what their long term goals are or just ask them what
their hobbies are and what they do for fun.
Also be prepared to share your own perspective on the question you ask.
Even if they give you a one word answer or say "I don't know", share your own story and
your experience with it and then follow up with more questions to see what you have to
say to get them to engage with you.
If and when you finally get them to open up and respond to you, the goal of flirting here
is to take it to the next step, and the next step is always making plans to hang out with
them one on one so you can get to know them a lot better.
If you're talking to them about a movie that just came out and they say they haven't watched
it yet, try to set up plans with them that weekend.
If you're talking to them about future goals or big plans for after graduation, try to
invite them to hang out so you can talk more deeply about those topics.
As for when in the conversation you should ask them to hang out, I leave that to your
own judgement.
Just do it when you both feel comfortable enough to open up to each other.
Remember, it should be part of the conversation.
If you don't eventually ask them to hang out, they'll get bored, the conversation will end
and you'll be back to square one.
It's incredibly important to be forward here, because if you're not forward moving then
you leave things up to chance.
And when you leave things up to chance, there's a high chance that you might get friend zoned
because your actions and the things you're talking about become misconstrued as you just
wanting to be friendly.
Also, when you talk to them it's good to be open, but try to leave a few things about
yourself to be mysterious.
If your crush starts asking a lot of questions, answer a few of them but follow the other
rule I gave you on teasing, respond with something like "I can't respond to that until I know
you better" or "Hey look, it's gonna cost you".
Being able to push and pull during the conversation where you're complimenting them and then taking
it back and joking around and having them do it back with you is a successful sign that
you're both flirting.
I know it can be scary or make you feel nervous sometimes to try to these things out with
your crush but remember, if you're able to lock even just a few of these techniques in,
you'll stand out so much more from everyone else competing with you for your crushes attention.
The personal goal here that you should keep is to be true to yourself, don't pretend or
act in a certain way jus so you can interact with your crush.
What do you think though, are you in high school and do you have trouble flirting with
your crush?
Leave a comment below and we'll talk about it.
There's a lot of people out there that push this agenda to falsify your identity just
so you can interact with the person that you like and I don't buy that at all.
I believe in being your best self because at the beginning of the conversation you want
to feel comfortable and natural and at the end you want to know that everything you talked
about is honestly who you are.
I want you to be your best self, and that means working through your feelings of nervousness
and anxiety to feel comfortable interacting with your crush and to have them feel comfortable
opening up to you.
That's what true confidence is and that's what we're here to build.
As always guys, love and peace.