A number of things have annoyed me this week
- Oh - Number one: ...
I like how you assume it's you - Oh yeah?
The volume of my mum's "cinema whisper", which is too loud.
Number two:
Your clinginess
[Title card] Group hug!
One thing I have to pick you up on: - What?
Earlier, on a dog walk, I said, "D'you know what I've never done, Rosie? I've never baked a cake on my own."
And Rosie said, ... - You're a bitch!
And Rosie said, "I can bake a cake without a recipe book." And I said ... - Yeah, I can bake here
I said, "Oh really, how's that done? Do you remember the ingredients?"
And she went "Yeah, you don't need measurements. You do it all by eye." - By eye!
- Pop quiz: You're making ... - No ... uh, sponge ... It's a Victoria sponge
... I do it by eye - You're making a Victoria sponge by eye - Classic. Yeah
- With your eye? - By eye
- So where'd you start?
Well, I can't do maths, and it's ... - Really? - ... no scales
So it's, it's much easier, simpler times.
Do you think before they had these fancy weighing scales,
do you think they ... How do you think they did it? - Before what?
- By eye! - Before what ...
How do you think they cooked stuff?
- Can I ask something? - Use their eyes
- Can I ask something? - ... and their taste buds - Rosie, did you pass your GCSEs by eye?
Before I moved out of my mum's house, right, um,
My mum, very busy lady, lots of children in the house, okay? I was one of five, okay?
So lots of times, my mum would lea ... would be like, "If you want dinner, you gotta start making it", right?
So she'd be like, "mince is in the fridge", or whatever, and I start doing it
So one day as a surprise, I thought I'd bake her a cake
- By eye? - No that's what ... I followed the book
- You did - But then, it was ... went down so well with my family
I kept doing it every day, cuz ...
- Every day? - ... I would arrive home before my mum
- So you made your mum a cake every day? - I kept ... I kept making cake to the point where my mum was like, no this has got to stop
I think if I can remember it correctly, but I'm sure you can ... - Which you can cuz you can do it by ...
... You were adamant on the dog walk. Adamant on the dog walk that you can, in fact,
- Yeah - ...bake a cake by ...
- Yeah - Don't touch me!
By eye! - Listen, ...
- And you got really arsy ... - It's like riding a bike - ... when I ... Excuse me
- ... which I failed my second year proficiency twice, but, I'm told ... - I'm surprised you didn't pass this by eye!
Good cup of tea, the milk to water/teabag ratio, you do it by eye
- Mmm hmm - By eye! - What else would you do by eye?
Fishing.
I have fun fishing by eye
You know what, Rosie? I can't argue with that
You were so mean.
Rose picked me up on it because I said
"Oh Rose I'm really good at making sponge cake. Don't even need the recipe, I'll do it by eye"
It's the fun of it. Excuse me, I'm popular.
I'm angry at you that you had to pick me up on "by eye", right
And she wouldn't let me get away with it. She was like "By eye?"
"By eye? Go on, tell me how you did it. By eye? Tell me!"
She put me under pressure. If I had a bowl and a whisk, and the ingredients
I know how to do it BY EYE
It's by eye - I've noticed
I've noticed you haven't actually told me which ingredients, how many, and when - So ... I do know
So I ... so I used to - By eye? - ... get butter and sugar first.
- Right - Caster sugar - Yeah
And I mix them together, and I remember that cuz I would try and eat a lot of it
before adding the egg - You ate butter and sugar on its own?
Do you know what I used to get? - What?
- This is obviously like years and years ago
I ... My mum never had any treats in the house, so I never had any - Right
hence me having to bake a cake and eat the butter sugar every day
- Butter and sugar on its own. What a nice appetizer!
- But occasionally I'd find a tin of condensed cream. Or is it condensed milk? Condensed milk
You know it's just pure overload of sugar. It's like syrup glop.
Ahhh I used to drink it like ...
It was something else I used to drink in my teens. Anyway, um
You put the butter and sugar ... - BLEHHH
Pretty sure I'd add in the raw egg, and flour - How many? One egg?
Two eggs? - I mean, once it foams into a sponge you can really just put it all in at once and whisk it
- You can put it all in at once and whisk it? - Yeah and then you grease the tin, pour it in,
make sure it's got no lumps, bake it for like, what, I figure, I swear it was like ...
it was really low, so it mighta been, mighta been hundred degrees ...
Can't remember, but I did it by eye. - Or you just do it by eye
- Just do it by eye - So you just peek through
- Just look at it - Do it by eye ... They do it on Bake Off all the time
- Yeah? - I saw someone the other day. They said "I'm not gonna time it"
It was fortune cookies. She was like "I'm just gonna watch it". Do it by eye
- By eye - By eye. Stops it burning.
Rose didn't believe I did things by eye, so I said to her
Nicola Breston's birthday party years ago
- I remember her. She was well fit - I know
Still is. Also, have you seen her sisters?
- No. Show them to me - They're a well-bred family, is what I'm gonna say - Really
- Well-bred family - I really liked her, for her personality obviously, but - Her sister's a brunette
Yeah - Really? - Obviously for her personality - Really?
Anywah, uh, Nicola Breston's birthday, uh, me and Anna, my friend, we're like
Let's bake her some cakes, cuz we're poor, so we just baked cakes instead of buying a physical present.
I said, Anna, I don't need a recipe book, I'll do it by eye
I did it by eye. They came out perfect
But I just did too many, because they were little cupcakes, so
Cuz I was doing the Victoria sponge in my head, you see, and they were little
So I just gave her a bag of them.
- You gave her a bag of ... - A bag of cupcakes!
And we got wrecked before we went. Oh that's why!
So I got wrecked, and I was doing it by eye
And uh, and yeah we went and we had like a lunch box of it and a bag, and they kept falling out
And I burnt a load of them. That's cuz I didn't do that by eye
- You didn't do that by eye? - Not that bit. No I just left them in so I got wrecked.
So I went see Dunkirk when I went home to see my family
And I took my mum obviously, obviously
We had like a mum-daughter date thing. - Obviously, obviously
And before we got to the cinema, I got recognized by two subscribers in Hereford.
Never before has this happened in front of my parents. - Right
Believe it or not. We've been Youtubing for a while,
and we're like semi-popular, semi-popular - You just don't hang out with your parents.
- I don't. And also I keep it completely separate so they have no idea, really, what we do
apart from when they came to tour and they were like "Oh my God you're so great"
and I was like "Tell me more"
Anyway, so they approached us, these really nice girls, and they went
"Oh hi, can I have a picture?" and I'm like "Yeah! Of course" cuz obviously
And um, and my mum said to them,
"Oh my God, how, how on earth did you recognize her?"
And I said, "Mum, I'm on the Internet!"
- Your face is on the Internet - Like I, I said to my mum like, what do you ...
- It's available - It's avai ... like I look the same! - It's there
Like I look the same. Do you think she could get over it, how these girls recognized me?
- She didn't understand - Mum, I'm in videos every week - Your mum's got an iPad
By eye. - She's got an iPad - By eye! That's what you should've said!
Guys recognized me by eye, mum!
Let's just talk about the vomit that happened
Um hm. At a very, very important meeting.
Uh, no we had several meetings, right. I can't tell you what the meetings is
I asked my manager and he was like, no. No it wasn't our ma ... - "I can't tell you what the meetings is"?!
I said to Dave "I'm getting a migraine", cuz I had the flashing lights" and I ... and
Dave was like "No, you're not getting a migraine." He was being nice.
He was trying to make me feel better. He was trying to like psychologically get me out of it.
- Yeah he was - And then I was like "I'm getting a migraine."
- Yeah, you were, yeah - And when I said to, I said to Dave, "Have you ever had a migraine?"
And Dave said, "I think so."
Now, having a migraine is not something you do by eye, right
You've either got one or you haven't. Like if you've either experienced it or you don't know what it's like
Let me tell you what it's like. - Okay
- Okay ...
I can't describe what it was like. It was horrible. It's like ... Have you ever had a migraine?
- I've had two in my life. - What, what happened? Describe it
I was standing there in the garden center looking at the pet toys in the pet section thinking
"God I want a pet. I'm not old enough to have that responsibility. I also live with my mum. I'm 24"
As I was thinking these things, I thought
"Why haven't I moved out of the house yet? Life is getting on, and I haven't met anyone. Also I'm gay."
- 24? - "Life is difficult when you're from a small town. Also, why can't I see?"
Then I thought, "Hmmm I'm blind now."
So I go over to my dad and said, "What the hell is happening" and he goes "I think it's a 'meegraine'."
and I said "What's a 'meegraine'?"
- This one makes me angry. It's "migraine"
- And then the sickness followed. - Yeah - That was the first time.
The second time I was watching Saw in my university, thinking,
"Well I'm watching Saw. I hate gore thumbs."
- Which Saw was it? - It was Gore II
"Gore II"?! - "Gore II"?!
And I thought to myself, "Why do I feel sick? Oh yeah. Also, I can't see."
and I thought, hm, I really hate my girlfriend at the time
Another subject for another day
Rosie does this one thing that is actually the cutest thing.
- Is it when I push my glasses up like this and do baby voice?
Alright, in Milkins now. In Milkins
No. This is what you do, right?
So Rosie's got this weird superstition - you're very close -
um, about smart cars - I don't know how it happened
- I don't understand, too. Bascially, ... - Tell you where it came ...
- ... Rosie's obsessed with smart cars
- I love smart cars! - Like, she, no, I don't think anybody understands ... - The ones with, like, one door, not like the double doors
- What car has one door? - Alright, two doors
- What car has one door? - A golf buggy
I love smart cars. Oh I love them - Did you say a golf buggy?
You've got an answer that's so clever for everything - D'you think?
- ... it is so true - Do you think I got a clever answer for everything?
Rosie's obsession with smart cars is like no obsession you've ever seen
- I love them - ... she thinks they're the cutest things in the world
So every time she sees one ... The first time you said it to me, you were like,
"Look Rose, there's a smart car. Boop Boop"
And I just thought it was the cutest thing. But you didn't know that I thought it was cute.
But every time she sees a smart car, and it could be in the middle of an argument
literally a full-blown argument with someone,
or like ... - Or a conversation, or work - Or a conversation, whatever,
she has to stop what she's saying, or someone else, what they're saying,
and go, "Boop Boop"
- But I actually ... no it's ... - "Boop Boop" - I actually have to stop
- No, she has to stop - Like today we were in the car with someone,
I was chatting to them. They were in the back, and I was in the front, and I was like
"Yeah blablablah, BuBu, blablablah". I didn't have to do it.
- I like it how sometimes you get, sometimes you do it real long, and you go
"Booop Booop" And then sometimes you go, "Yeah yeah yeah - BuBu" I was like, Awww
It is so cute! - Depends on what kind of car it is
- It's so cute! - Also I can spot them now from a mile out.
So when we're driving home, I'd be like "Is that a smart car?" and she'd be like "No, it isn't"
and then she'd be like "Yeah it is! How did you know?" and I'm like "Boop Boop!"
- Yeah because you've known, you now know how to spot the ones with four doors - Yeah
- ... even the little big ones. "The little big ones". And you're like "Oh yeah. Boop Boop"
- I prefer the smallest kind. Basically even if I was a multimillionaire, right,
and I had, like, a mansion, I'd just whiz around in my smart car. That's what I'd do, I'd be like "Yeaahhh"
"Boop Boop" - "Boop Boop"
- I'm just gonna say "Zippee". Also they're the funnest to drive. - Look how happy she is
- They're like, so cute - That's why, that's why in our, in our Let's Play Games, our most recent GTA one,
- I was so happy about it. - We were so happy about it - We got two, came along at once!
You should watch it. I get very excited.
Boop Boop! - Boop Boop! - Boop Boop!
I did a little wee.
Rose, should I ... should I throw up some bio oil on the dog's scar?
Do you think it'll make it better ... - THAT STINKS
When did we first start being disg ...
At what point in our relationship ... - In "Curry Farts and Melodrama", I literally did it on camera, I'm pretty sure
- You're absolutely right. It was at that point in our relationship.
- It's like the second video we ... - Can I say, that video was so well-lit, I'm actually shocked
How our relationship has changed, from "Curry Farts and Melodrama" - That hasn't, has it?
- ... to now - It's got worse.
As in the gas, not the relationship.
The relationship's good. I love you
This is why I'm going to get an Oscar one day - What did you think about to cry?
- Nothing. I just think about my life, Rosie.
So what I wanna do is win an Oscar. I'm deadly serious
- That's fine. I know what my dream is - I didn't ask
I really, really want to win an Oscar ... - Okay
- ... for my acting ability. Obviously Rosie wants to now butt in with her dreams,
so I'm just gonna let her
I want to be a Bond girl
- James Bond's ... chauvinistic pig? You want to be one of his bitches?
- Well they've changed - Aww, what a dream - ... they've developed his character now.
- What a dream for the youth of today
- Right, I need to talk about something, and I need you to do a post-edit zoom-in
- Is it my eye gunk? - No. What the fuck colour is your white bra meant to be?!
- Right. It's a nude bra, first. - No it's not!
- Yes it is - That's called filth.
That's disgu ... - That is a nude bra that has gone grey - BABE!
BURN it with FIRE!
Babe, how old is ... That's made ... that's actually ...
It's bringing on my "meegraine"
I wanna win an Oscar if you're gonna win an Oscar
Rosie, we can't do the same things all the time
But I know what I'd win my Oscar for
Most realistic sex scene
- That's not a category - Yeah it is
If you do ... Look at Carol, up for so many Oscars. Why?
I'm crying!
I am crying!
Right, this video has been amazing, and I literally think
it's because we're doing it late night like we used to. It's the same vibe
Like, because you used to come round and it would be really late and you'd be like
"Oh, shall we film a video?"
And then like we'd do it, and like we wouldn't give a shit - And then we'd film the video
Just so you know, I still love you the same as I always did.
- Really? - A little bit more, actually
How come? Is it ...
"Boop Boop"?
Alright guys, don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe.
If you wanna come see us on tour, the link is in the description box below.
And if you want merch, the link is there, too. Don't forget to ... - You know you want merch
I love it how after six years we don't talk over each other
- I like how we're still linked - Oh my God, we've linked arms for the like, the last, like the last hour!
We're gross!
We're one of those couples I'm just like, "Ugh, Bleh ..."
"... I wish I had what they had"
And I do!
- Bye! - Bye!