all right class do we have everyone here
Argentina Brazil uh Colombia almost
missed you there El Salvador Cuba
Ecuador I think that's everybody let's
get on this field trip Hey Oh what
where'd you come from been here the
whole time my name is on the list see oh
yeah you're the one that talks weird and
drinks your mamata yeah everyone I'm
your host barbs Paraguay is probably the
weirdest most backwards Latin American
country you can see white people
speaking a native indigenous language
and at one point it was illegal for
people of the same race to marry each
other the same race and on top of that
women can like balance ten bottles on
their heads but we're getting ahead of
ourselves
first we need to para go and find this
place on the globe shall we Paraguay
sometimes called the corazones sued
America or the heart of South America
because it's like in the middle
interestingly enough one of their
departments is named after an American
president anyway
Paraguay is one of the only two
landlocked nations in South America
bordered by Bolivia Argentina and Brazil
and is the only country in the Americas
to have never had a coast Bolivia once
had one and they don't like to talk
about it Paraguay is made up of 17
departments with the capital and largest
city nuestra senora Santa Maria de la
asunción or in short Asuncion here of
course you can also find the busiest
shipping port the port of Valletta along
the Paraguay River as well as the
largest and busiest airport most people
fly into Sylvio patrols the
International whereas the second largest
city are skipped further to the east
aptly named the Ciudad del Este or East
City has the second largest and only
other international airport wahdan e
international speaking of which see
these islands in the river right here
yeah they used to have a huge waterfall
called the glider Falls or said take a
thus they were flooded by the reservoir
created by the e-type whoo damn the
second largest dam in the world
completed in 1982 shared with Brazil and
according to most maps it seems like
this island right here is kind of split
along the border with Brazil but nobody
really pays attention getting around in
Paraguay is mostly concentrated within
the areas east of the Paraguay River
which holds over 90 percent of the
population this area is called the
piranha region this whole area right
here to the west is known as the Gran
Chaco region which also used to belong
to Bolivia but they don't like to talk
about it anyway it makes up about 60% of
the country yet only whole
about 5% of the population and only one
main highway goes through it the number
9 highway which enters into Bolivia the
alto Paraguay Department in itself only
has about 18,000 people whereas just the
capital city in itself has over half a
million fun fact despite being
landlocked they actually have the
largest Navy of any landlocked country
in the world mostly patrolling the
rivers also another fun fact many
powdered wines will tell you about how
big the country used to be before the
Triple Alliance war any gray some of the
top notable sights that you guys the
Paraguayan geography police existed we
mentioned include places like the
National Museum of Art in Asuncion the
Botanical Garden and zoo the museums of
ethnography and Natural History Trinidad
and these Jesuit missions the streets of
Aragua the valley me caverns the heroes
Pantheon the Palacio de dos Lopez the
independence house Museum
Asuncion Metropolitan Cathedral colon
Bowl headquarters Faro Cotterill station
and the historic center of asunción not
to mention some pretty nice waterfalls
and this National Park that I really
can't pronounce EB qui is a quater ani
word not Spanish we'll explain culture
stuff later but in the meantime land
stuff so as you've probably been able to
gather by now most of the fun stuff
happens on the east side of Paraguay but
that doesn't mean the West has nothing
going on for one the country lies on a
larger sub region that extends across
the southeastern coast of South America
known as a Rio de la Plata basin where
all the major rivers come together and
empty into the Atlantic Ocean right next
to Buenos Aires this area is generally
flatter with small rolling hills and no
extreme elevation changes the tallest
point in the country settle Pedro is
only 842 meters in height not too far
off you can find the largest lakes like
I Pau and Lake Vera just south of the
capital the country is divided generally
into five small ecological sub regions
divided by the longest river that
essentially bisects the entire country
the pas de quoi River where the country
gets its name from in the east you have
the northern uplands and the Piranha
plateau where the highest hills can be
found the name fuku plain the lowest
part of the country and to the west you
have the Gran Chaco the relatively flat
drier incredibly boring part of the
country made up mostly of farms and
cattle ranches interestingly enough
though if you go up in the Chaco you can
come across the defense sorta stucco
National Park which has this 40
kilometer wide thing called the Cerro
Leone a strange brain shaped geological
structure that pops out of nowhere and
nobody
quite knows how it was formed much of
the boundaries of Paraguay are made up
of rivers like the pika mile Appa
Estrella and the two main ones the
Piranha in the east and the Paraguay in
the middle because there are no mountain
ranges much of Paraguay as climate only
comes in two seasons the warm winds from
the Amazon up north bring the wet season
around October to March and the cold
winds from the Andes bring in the dry
season from May to August and because
the land is so flattened much of the
areas the winds can pick up speeds
pretty fast up to 160 km/h on rare
occasions they may even develop into
small tornadoes however most tornadoes
hit the pampas regions of Brazil and
Argentina instead oh yeah that brain
shaped hill thing looks pretty cool put
it on your bucket list any Qui it's time
for my triple shot of espresso break
which means no one comes in and finishes
off this segment what the yeah no it's
still on vacation okay Caleb then now
although much of the land lies below 300
metres it is an all flat the abundance
of waterways and rolling hills creates a
somewhat mildly congenial scenery with
pleasant waterfalls and national parks
where you can find the national animals
the pampas Fox and bear throated bel
berg classified as a middle-income
country Paraguay is fiscal growth has
seen a comfortable incline since the 80s
due to the abundant hydroelectric
resources they have for export and a
hundred percent of their electricity is
produced through hydropower making them
one of the cleanest energy efficient
countries nonetheless out of all the
landowners of Paraguay only about one
percent owns 70% of the land most of
which used for agriculture and forestry
which makes up about 30 percent of the
GDP if you look at Paraguay from space
you'll see all these rectangular plots
of the West
those aren't farms those are mostly
sectioned off holdings for lumber yeah
it's kind of a lot and what do they
produce let's just say they are the
sixth largest exporter of soy in the
world
woah 1/8 for beef well though they're
also the second largest producer of
stevia which brings us to food now as a
cattle raising country no shocker
Paraguayans love their beef they even
once held the world record for the
largest barbecue in the world with over
30,000 attendees in 2008 whoo-hoo
otherwise some top notable dishes you
guys the Paraguayan geography suggested
we mentioned include things like the
National
dish soap a Paraguayan Bay you milanesa
cutlets soya soup vari vari
P Ricardo corn pudding with meat and
everywhere you can find two things
cheaper which are cheese bread rolls and
today which is basically your bar mate'
but prepared with cold water and ice
rather than hot water and it originated
here in Paraguay from the group we're
from the Guarani people there is almost
nothing more Paraguayan than drinking
today in a gwampa through a bombilla
well I guess the only thing more
Paraguayan would be the Paraguayan
people which brings us to thank you
Caleb I guess you could say that it's
time for me to para go away now as we
mentioned the people of Paraguay are
probably the strangest in pretty much
the entire Latin world for one they have
a really weird history and a really
weird way of communicating well that's a
bold claim you sure you want to go there
yes but first the pie chart Paraguay has
around 7 million people and is the most
ethnically homogenous country in Latin
America kind of somewhere around 95
percent of the country identifies as
mestizo to some degree and I see still
being the mix between European mostly
Spanish and native Amerindian this
number however may be a little skewed as
some reports say mestizo white whatever
that may indicate but either way the
vast majority are mestizo interestingly
enough though genealogists estimate that
somewhere around 40 percent of the total
population has some kind of Italian
ancestry as many Italian immigrants came
in after independence years much like
Argentina otherwise about 1% of the
population is made up of afro
Paraguayans and the rest are made up of
other groups mostly Europeans like
Germans Russians and poles as well as
East Asians like Koreans Japanese and
Chinese with a small Amerindian minority
mostly Guarani these Daquan of me as
their currency they use the type c plug
outlet and they drive on the right side
of the road it's interesting you don't
really see too many park lines outside
of Paraguay and when two product lines
meet each other outside of Paraguay it's
like oh what a lovely day it is here in
well let's say Tokyo hello curiously
approachable stranger
I'm from Paraguay you I am from better
way yeah public lines have a close
kinship like literally at one point the
government even tried to racially
homogenized the populace by becoming the
only country in the world to make same
race marriages illegal for white people
same race yeah this dude was a pretty
intense dictator and that's not even a
subjective description his official
title literally was supreme and
perpetual dictator of Paraguay any grey
what makes a Paraguayan a Paraguayan
well most product wines will probably
tell you that the number one thing would
be the Guarani language Paraguay is
officially a bilingual country with
Spanish and Guarani and indigenous
native language sharing equal status
although more people are actually fluent
in Guarani it's like a backwards New
Zealand imagine if the majority of
people who weren't maury were fluent in
Maori and English was their second
language that's basically part of life
but how did it become this way well long
story incredibly short Jesuit
missionaries learned to share the
religion and Spanish conquerors learn
the language so that they could ally
with a quaternion to fight against the
Incans over time children were born
mestizo but those Guarani mamas were
really keen on teaching their kids their
language plus it was an acceptable
language respected by the Spanish
colonizers since it was used to help
fight the enemy and hence it was never
really repressed today most people are
either bilingual or speak Obata which is
like a mix between Guarani and Spanish
and who better to explain than an actual
Paraguayan so Paraguayan geography mati
uncontacted us not only did she help me
with this episode but she was literally
randomly visiting la with her family on
vacation while we were filming the pas
de quoi episode so I said do you speak
Guarani she said my mom speaks better so
I was like great you both are gonna be
in the episode my DM look when you go
hot a pan de vie
my hey-oh that be I don't whip with
deeper okay so you know someone's
Paraguay when they say a few different
phrases in regular Spanish Mira esto
but a Paraguay I'm gonna say me tampoco
anything what I need they would say in
my vehicle way so most um latin-american
countries they have like a word that
kind of means anything like Vienna or
like Oh me die stop right now but in
Paraguay we sounds like what any word
for it which is my enna in Miami no koi
and as usual hen I usually takes over
the culture stuff but uh she's got a
little acting gig going on so she's not
here but that's okay cuz we can always
have Mary on again you do the cook this
is your country you should do this okay
this is your
we don't need handle for this as
mentioned the Guarani language is spoken
natively by about seven million people
across Bolivia Brazil and Paraguay in
actuality though the indigenous got any
people in themselves only number at
about 300 thousand Catholicism is the
dominant religion of about eighty nine
percent of the country adhering it to
some degree of course it played a key
role in shaping much of the country
throughout centuries cathedrals and old
Jesuit missions speckle the land all
over even in sparsely populated areas
religious festivals are well attended
like the festival of San Juan on June
24th when people play traditional games
and walk on coals and left for survival
appear in the cocklebur on December 8th
with a huge pilgrimage to the holy
shrine of the town and according to
Paraguayan tradition August is
considered the bad luck month and on
August 1st many people drink kattiline a
traditional one any drink made of the
distilled sugarcane juice the Rudo plant
and lemon to ward off illness and bedlam
every year the trans choco rally is held
in September a three-day motor rally
thousands of miles of dearth paths on
the vast empty western region of the
country traditional Paraguay and
lace-making is called Natalie with me on
duty you think she does this in real
life Nando d which means spiderweb and
there is even an en duty festival in
July and finally technically it is still
legal to have gun duels to settle
disputes as long as both parties are
blood donors yeah gun duels and finally
let's let Keith finish off with the
music section in Paraguay music has
always been kind of an escape from the
pressures of life whether it be a
dictatorship or having something over
half your population killed off or
something like that so they have the
remained traditional styles of music the
live legal OPA and this thing I can't
pronounce Paraguayan polka was actually
influenced from the Czech immigrants and
evolved into the Guarani ax created by
this dude in 1925 traditional
instruments fused both native and
Spanish elements you might see things
like sugar cane flutes and gore drums
whereas the Spanish introduced the
Spanish guitar in Spanish art which
turned into the famous Paraguayan harp
paraguayans are world renowned for being
top heart players finally the one
thing you cannot miss if you come to
Paraguay is the bottle dance or the
danza de la botella women dance with
bottles or jars stacked up on their
heads sometimes balanced over ten at a
time it's truly a spectacle to see kind
of like this so yeah if you're gonna
take anything away from Paraguay its
polka harps and bottles and that's
pretty much all I got
oh and hey we are launching Keith's
t-shirts God we're launching Keith's
shirts and it's gonna be awesome
that's right Thank You Keith or his
shirt on gender now vodka yeah to
elaborate on what Keith said during the
Paraguayan war or the war of the Triple
Alliance part of why pretty much had
three countries gang up on them and lost
somewhere around 70 percent of their
entire male population through war
historians claim that this was probably
one of if not the most destructive war
on the populace in modern times it's
crazy part of their history and speaking
of history here's the extremely quick
condensed history of Paraguay Guarani
natives this ROI of Rio de la Plata
independence from Spain Francia
dictatorship Carlos Antonio Lopez
becomes the first president the Triple
Alliance war territory lost 1904
revolution the Chaco War Elst Renato the
1992 Constitution the 2012 coup d'etat
and that brings us to the next segment
the extremely condensed list of notable
people some of the people you guys the
Paraguayan geography suggested we
mentioned include people like Silvio
petit Rossi josé félix estiga Rabia
Luis Alberto de Piranha Josefina Pia
Augustin Pio Barrios Berta Rojas Robin
wood Larissa Riquelme Augusto robustos
so many soccer / football players like
these people so there you go Latinos
that also speak a native indigenous
language and put bottles on their heads
while dancing and playing to the harp
yeah they must be the life of the party
and speaking of parties let's see whom
Paraguay hangs out with shall we
so in the early history product I kind
of deliberately isolated themselves
which is why they retained such a high
level of uniqueness nonetheless they've
moved on and now party with pretty much
anyone over time they've opened up and
are now part of numerous bilateral
organizations such as the Latin American
integration Association the Rio group
the Mercosur and una sewer obviously
that means they pretty much get along
with most other South American countries
even Bolivia settled an agreement that
ended the border dispute left over from
the Chaco War in the 1930s Paraguay is
currently the largest nation in the
world to officially recognize the
Republic of China or Taiwan rather than
the People's Republic of China the
relationship goes all the way back to
1957 the heads of state and high-ranking
government officials constantly visit
and have signed numerous trade and
development deals
oddly enough the two states are also
Antipodes of each other that is they're
literally on the complete opposite sides
of the globe from one another
interestingly enough also Pakistan has
also strengthened relations with
Paraguay recently and sharing their
expertise and resource development
products like oil seeds wheat and cotton
are heavily produced in Pakistan and
they hope to invest in power wise
agriculture sector in growing such crops
to cultivate a mutual trade relationship
because of its sizable migrant community
that moved during the early 20th century
Paraguay has had relatively close
relations with Eastern and Central
European nations like Poland Germany
Russia and Ukraine each have a
representative embassy many of these
communities still speak their mother
language and have relatives in their
respective European homelands fun side
note Paraguay also has about 40,000
German and Russian Mennonites that came
in during the 1920s and our heavy
contributors to power-wise dairy
industry when it comes to their best
friends however most poliquin's I have
talked to have said it would probably be
Argentina and Brazil although
historically these two plus Uruguay kind
of ganged up and fought relentlessly
against them they've moved on and are
now closer than ever never fighting
another war since then these two are not
only their biggest trading and business
partners but socially they get along as
people pretty well too they share a lot
culturally like Argentina many Park
wines have Italian ancestry and they
have a huge love of barbecue and Gaucho
culture with horseback riding and music
like cumbia many paraguayans also move
to Argentina for better opportunities
Brazil is not only their largest export
partner and not only to many people in
the eastern border of Paraguay speak
Portuguese but Brazil also has been a
very important friend in the development
and investment sector for Paraguay the
Thai food dam was a huge deal and it is
probably the biggest link that
the two nations although it has come
with its controversies overall Paraguay
and Brazil are always going to be
buddies at the end of the day in
conclusion if you want to see a
backwards place where the indigenous
language dominated the colonized one
with people that dance with bottles on
their heads while sipping cold tea from
a bullhorn come to pata bye
and before we go VIN you pray come on in
Mariana Sarah thank you so much for
being in this episode before you go
anything you want to say to Paraguay
well thank you for inviting me on your
show oh hey who by the way and there we
go
stay tuned Peru is coming up next
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