Do you ever do that thing where you start to feel a little anxious or a
little worried or a little stressed out and then you try to do ALL the things?
and you keep yourself really busy and you pile on extra tasks and you try to
take care of everything and control everything
but then you burn out and then you beat yourself
up and you're exhausted and you feel like you're a failure or whatever
and then after you've rested for a little while you're like hmm
you know what?... maybe if I just try harder the next time,
I can do it, and then you start that whole cycle over?
well this is a super common cycle, I see it in my family, I see it in my clients
and today we're going to talk about how to break the anxiety
burnout depression cycle.
Hi everyone, Emma McAdam here, I'm a licensed therapist
and this video is sponsored by Better Help where you can get professional,
affordable online counseling for around 65$ a week
so check out the link in the description for 10% off your first month.
I'm currently working with a couple of clients who all get stuck
in this pattern where they feel anxiety and then they try to keep super busy to
avoid feeling anxious and then they burn out and they end up
depressed. I've seen this pattern in my family
and in a lot of my clients and from what I can tell it's pretty common way
that anxiety turns into depression. So in this video you're going to learn all
about how to identify and replace this pattern with a more
helpful, sustainable approach. So let's start by
taking a look at each of those stages. So stage one is anxiety. Now this anxiety
may not seem to come from anywhere it might be due to an old trauma or it
might be um more genetic or just an old habit
but regardless of why you feel it, it's the feeling of anxiety so you might feel
uncertain if you're good enough or you might feel jittery or unsure
or you might feel worried that you're going nowhere or worried about the
future or worried about money or something
or it might just be more in your body you know, you might just feel more
tense or more stressed. Anxiety is uncomfortable and most of us just
want it to go away. So step two of this cycle
is to run, to run about, to keep busy, to try to do as much as as you
physically can. So for example one of my clients took
too many classes in college she was trying to train for a marathon
she started a really intense diet and she was also working a bunch of
hours at her job. This stage, stage two, is where you try to
use willpower to get everything done you try to
control everything you wake up early you you say yes to too many things and you
just try to work harder or faster or you try to be more perfect
you think if I can only do everything or if I can at least
just stay busy then i won't feel anxious anymore.
So then comes burnout, this is the exhaustion stage.
So for example, one of my clients felt tired and overwhelmed and depressed
she felt like she wasn't good enough she had a hard time feeling motivated
but for a while she kept dragging herself out of bed
until she reached the breaking point and then she had a meltdown at work,
she got a stress fracture, she ended up quitting the marathon training
but she was exhausted and she started to sleep for like
12 to 16 hours a day and at this stage depression kicks in right you may feel
like there's no hope this is the stage where you wonder like
what's the point in trying. My client started to beat herself up and
asking yourself you know "am I a failure?" you had put in all of your effort all of
your willpower and and now in your mind you're like
well, my best efforts just lead to failure.
So when you've tried so hard to escape feeling by doing everything you can
everything that you know how to do but you still feel crappy, this
is when some people start thinking of suicide as their only escape.
So for many they've tried everything they know of but their attempts
to to run, to go faster, just leave them feeling anxious and exhausted.
So for my client the semester ended, she took a couple weeks off of work
and she just slept for most of the day and then you know watched netflix for
most of the rest and and then when she started to feel less exhausted
she started thinking "oh I'm I'm not a failure, I just have to try harder next
time." "If I only try harder or do it better
then I won't fail." So as her worries started to build,
she signed up for more projects, she started a new diet,
she enrolled in more classes and that's how the cycle repeats. So do you
see this cycle in yourself? You don't have to stay stuck in it, so
let's talk about breaking the cycle at each of the four stages. So in this
video I'm going to give you an overview of the
skills you can use at each of these stages to break this cycle
but I'm not going to teach each of these skills because each of them takes some
time so I teach each of these skills in my
anxiety skills playlist and my grounding skills playlist
and in some of my other videos so check those out to learn
how to actually do this. So let's talk about stage one which is anxiety
so anxiety is all about perceived danger so instead of running away create a
sense of safety so if you fear not being good enough
build your self-worth on something you can control like
your integrity and your values instead of on accomplishments or
doing more. When you feel anxious practice
grounding techniques and calm your body before you
choose a course of action. Don't let your anxiety brain convince you that
everything is awful so instead practice gratitude and and look for the good in
your life and in yourself. Managing anxiety is all about slowing
down and restoring your sense of personal
power and safety it's about understanding your locus of
control which is accepting what you can't change and
changing what you can. The second part of this cycle is the
fight or flight response, it's a short-term sprint to get away
from danger so trying to do a marathon a school an
extreme diet and a relationship and a work
it's like a gazelle running away from a cheetah, it works for a little while
but it's not sustainable in the long run so don't get stuck
running. Don't get stuck running away from your anxiety
so slow down breathe calm your body even in the middle of
stressful tasks choose sustainable action instead of a
sprint, this includes saying no to a few
things. Okay stage three to avoid the burnout
stage you need to plan in and schedule time
for regular rest and self-care this creates the opportunity for regular
and sustainable growth and when you do fall short
learn to respond to your mistakes with self-compassion
instead of self-flagellation so beating yourself
up or using fear as your motivator it only works in the short term
but in the long run it's going to drain you of motivation and energy
so instead practice self-compassion and at stage 4, instead of just repeating
the cycle, identify it, write down what it looks
like in your life so identify each of the stages of your
personal anxiety-burnout-exhaustion cycle
use a growth mindset and ask yourself like what can I learn from this
for me and I think for a lot of people journaling or writing things down
can really help you look at the big picture like
you really can intervene at each stage of this cycle in your life
when you start to practice the little skills and incorporate them into your
actions you can turn this downward spiral into
an upward spiral of sustainable growth. So, slow things down choose
intentional action instead of just reacting instead of just running, take
the time to take care of yourself and treat yourself with compassion don't
forget to breathe, you've got this. If you appreciate mental
health skills in concise little packages, you can
support this channel on Patreon. Thank you for watching and take care.