Hi everyone!
Welcome back to Lavendaire.
So, it is the new year,
and I know a lot of people are making vision boards around this time.
I've already made a couple of videos on how to make a vision board,
so I'll link those in here and down below.
But today I thought it'd be fun to reflect on the vision boards
that I've made years ago in the past,
and to see what's come true and what hasn't.
I'll start with the vision boards and if I have time
I'll get to my Current Me vs. Future Me that I've made from 2012.
The first board I want to show is this one that I made in March of 2012 –
and that's crazy because it was almost eight years ago.
And I remember making this:
It's the first time I really wanted to hone in on who I was,
because I was so lost at the time.
I just decided to write everything that I love,
everything that motivates me in life,
and who I am at my core.
What's my purpose?
I'm more of a words person.
You know, I like journaling and writing,
so putting it out in words made sense to me.
I'm not going to go into it so much,
but I just want to show you that it's possible
to make a vision board with words and not too many images.
All that matters when making a vision board is
to fill up a blank canvas with your dreams
and desires and everything that you want.
Moving on to this vision board,
I would consider this my first official vision board that I ever made,
and I think I made this in 2013 or 2014.
I actually took the images off the internet and Pinterest
and then I arranged it on Photoshop,
had it printed, and then framed it.
I'm pretty proud of this because I did it so well.
But let's take a look at what I actually put on here
and whether or not it really came true.
Starting in this left corner, this was the design corner.
I really wanted to be a designer and learn Adobe Creative Suite.
I wanted to build a brand.
At the time, I wanted to build an app and design an app as well,
so I would say some of this came true,
like me learning Adobe Photoshop, InDesign, Premiere, things like that.
And then what did not come true is: taking the tech route and building an app.
On the left here, there's a table where I wrote “Build a team,”
and I think originally, I thought that was a team for a startup,
but actually I do have a small team now under Lavendaire.
and I'm continuing to build that, so I think that's coming true.
I like this quote here, “A well-read woman is a dangerous creature,”
because I always wanted to read and be that well-read person,
which I would say is pretty true.
I put some of my idols on here like Jessica Alba, Beyonce, Michelle Phan, Gandhi,
Leonardo DaVinci, because I wanted to be a Renaissance person.
Looking at the top and center part of the vision board,
this was the entrepreneurial side where I put quotes like
“I can and I will,” “Fearless,”
one of my favorite Oprah quotes:
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
The center quote that is around: “I am an entrepreneur,”
because I think I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur,
work for myself, and so that part has come true actually.
I love this quote by Picasso:
“I'm always doing that which I cannot do in order that I may learn how to do it.”
And below that: “Ted talks”.
I wouldn't have known that only a couple of years later,
I'd be invited to do my first Tedx talk.
It was a Tedx youth event and I mean –
although it was very small and they didn't put the video online,
I still am proud that I did one.
Of course, I got The Four Agreements in the center here.
I still try to remember and live by these.
And over here, I have images for Fast Company's
100 Most Creative People in Business,
and the World's 100 Most Powerful Women.
These are people that I look up to,
because I look up to creativity and powerful women.
But at the same time, now that I'm older, I realize that before,
I put this on my vision board because I want it to be on this list.
I really wanted to be Forbes 30 Under 30,
but now I recognize that that was my cry
for wanting to feel important and valuable and validated.
And I actually don't need any of these awards or accolades,
because awards and accolades don't mean as much
now that I feel more confident in my self worth, if that makes sense.
So the more confident you get,
the less you need these awards to really prove and validate your worth.
I put "swim" on here because I used to swim,
and now I don't really swim anymore, so that one's not really applicable.
It's not really true anymore.
On the top right is my music and performance corner.
I have Tokimonsta, one of my female artist inspirations.
And this was the time where I was still making music, coming out with an album.
So I was really focused on becoming an artist
and that – I would say that part is not as true anymore.
I don't really perform or make music anymore or as much,
so that part of my life has kind of simmered down, which is totally okay.
I have “fashion and classy” here.
And I have an image for clean and minimal.
Guys, this is before I discovered KonMari
and got more into minimalism and decluttering.
And back then, this clean and minimal image used to be like a dream.
I used to think only pictures on Pinterest look like that and places in real life don't.
And now I feel like I'm much more capable of creating that type of space for myself.
I'm so much better at decluttering, design, and things like that.
And that's it for this vision board.
All right, so now I want to move on to my 2019 vision board,
because I'm really excited about this one.
I showed you guys how I made this in a previous video.
It's really simple.
I just cut out the grid and then cut out images and put them on.
So let's see which ones came true and which ones did not.
I'll start with the fiddle leaf fig image.
That's a vision for my fiddle leaf fig Lila.
I put her on my vision board because I wanted to show her
how big and strong I wanted her to grow.
And she is on her way –
she's sprouted, she's grown at least,
I would say, two or three more feet within this year.
I put Shanghai and my brother there as just an image for family.
But what actually came true is 1) I went to Shanghai this year
and that wasn't exactly planned until later on.
And 2) my brother moved back home,
so now we get to hang out a lot more,
and it's really nice to just be close to family.
This image of @taramilktea riding first-class has not yet come true, guys.
I have not ridden in first-class yet,
but this year was my first year booking a premium econ ticket to Bali.
I rode premium econ for the first time to Bali
and then back to LA, and that's my upgrade for this year.
I also have two images of a yoga headstand
because I wanted to get more into yoga
and really master the headstand, the tripod headstand.
And that one, guys, did not really come true.
I have tried, I have practiced,
and I was able to like go upside down with a wall
or with someone helping me or spotting me.
But it's a personal thing.
I know that my mind is afraid and it really is just the fear.
It's all mental that's keeping me from doing it.
So that's a vision for another year.
One that did come true to a T is this Bali image of Jasmine Lipska at Bali.
I took this photo because it just looks so beautiful.
I'm like, “Where is that? I want to go there,”
and you guys know that I went to Bali this year
and one of the first things I did was go on an Instagram Bali tour
where I took this exact photo, and I'll show it to you on this screen.
I didn't really think about my poses,
but one of the poses looked almost exactly like Jasmine's pose,
and that is one of the things that came true this year, guys.
I also have Australia on my vision board, the Sydney Opera House,
and I went to Australia this year in March.
I kind of put that on my vision board
knowing that I was planning a trip to Australia,
so that one is a little bit more like I cheated,
but it's okay because it happened, it's real.
I also put Santorini, Greece on my vision board
because it's a place I've always wanted to go.
It looks so gorgeous, so pastel, perfect with my theme.
And I didn't go this year, but this year I found out that
one of my good girlfriends is getting married
and she decided to have a destination wedding in Santorini
so I'm actually going to Santorini this May.
And that was crazy because I didn't know that she would have her wedding there.
I didn't make any plans to go,
but now I have plans to go and that's about to come true.
The last travel destination I have on my vision board is the Taj Mahal.
This is another @taramilktea photo because her photos are amazing,
but that one has not come true yet.
I know I will go eventually.
I haven't made plans.
I don't know when, I don't know how.
Maybe one of you guys out there can help me.
But yeah, that one's not true yet.
Over here I have some healthy food photos
and this photo on the left with all the berries in a bowl,
like blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, strawberries,
those are the exact berries that Wilson and I have been buying lately
and eating almost every single morning.
And I didn't really realize that that was on my vision board,
but it's come true without realizing it.
In the center, I have this girl with this fit body that I'm aiming for,
and I can proudly say that within this past six months
I've been really working on health.
I started intermittent fasting
and I feel like I'm closer to what this looks like, which I'm proud of.
I have a couple pictures of florals,
which I just threw on there because I like florals.
But I realized that this picture on the bottom right looks exactly like
this place I went to in Australia called Grounds of Alexandria
and I took some pictures there too.
So I don't know if it's the same place in this photo,
but it was very similar and that definitely happened this year.
Lastly, I have a photo of Song of Style holding this beige Chanel bag.
I just thought this bag looks so chic and I just put it on my vision board.
I don't have this exact bag,
but I actually ended up buying another beige Chanel bag this year,
and although it doesn't look the same, I feel like I fulfilled it.
I bought this and this bag purchase was like a treat for myself.
It was me saying I'm proud of myself
for being the boss woman that I've become and whatever.
Just me giving myself a little treat.
So that's my recap on my 2019 vision board.
I would say half or at least more than half have come true.
Some others are on their way, in progress, which is totally fine.
And then some, I don't have any plans for yet,
but I just trust that the universe will bring it to me when I am ready.
All right, so lastly, I want to share my original Current Me vs. Future Me exercise
that I did in March 2012 at 6:46 AM.
That's how much of an insomniac I am sometimes.
The current image of me was when I was just in sweats.
I was feeling lost in life.
My thinking was very, very messy.
I just felt very burnt out, like I was giving up on life
and I was very negative in my mindset.
I was lazy, sad, bored, insecure,
slow to take action, had a lot of unhealthy habits.
I was scared of reality and adulthood, basically.
So I wrote, “I want to do big things, but how?”
I was overwhelmed.
I was scared to choose and take action to live.
And over on this side, I wrote how irresponsible I was.
I was sleeping all the time.
I was crying all the time, had so many emotions.
I even wrote here “death thoughts,”
because I had this feeling that if I died,
no one would care and it wouldn't matter.
“It's okay if I die.”
And I was very morbid and very hopeless in life.
“Hopeless” is the word I would use.
“I want a better relationship with my friends.”
“I want to be more fun and social.”
“I need to stop flaking.”
I wrote here, “I'm sorry I slept through this and that.
Can I reschedule?”
I would flake all the time because I couldn't wake up for things.
I was just unmotivated and I would burn bridges with friends
because I was just not a good friend at that time.
I wrote here, “Find distraction through online retail therapy.”
So I was taking out my emotions on spending money on shopping online.
And on top of that I was just unmotivated and unproductive.
This was just the current state that I was in then
and I just really, really wanted to make change.
I think I hit the rock bottom,
and you know where you hit rock bottom –
you're finally ready to change things up
because things have to be moving in a different direction.
Moving onto the Future Me that I drew almost eight years ago:
This is two years before I started Lavendaire.
I wrote, “I've left my distinct mark on this world and in history.”
“I understand me and my purpose,”
because that's something I really, really wanted.
I wanted to make a positive impact and understand my purpose.
“Why am I here on this earth?”
I feel like now I have.
And I wrote all these positive things like
“I'm happy, I'm successful, healthy, balanced,
well known, I'm driven and motivated.”
“I'm confident.”
I really wanted to have a more positive mindset.
I wanted to be well traveled.
And I can honestly say that so much of this is so true now.
I've traveled a lot more.
I'm so much more confident, happy, and successful
compared to who I was eight years ago.
I wrote things like “I'm strong and independent.”
“I'm a role model and teacher.”
“I teach wisdom and philosophy.”
“Proud to be a do gooder and make the money,"
because I always wanted to do good,
but not at the expense of not making money.
So I really wanted to do both
because I wanted to believe that it was possible to be a good person,
do good, and make money at the same time.
And I can honestly say that I'm proud to be doing that right now.
Over on the left side I wrote, “I'm caring, charismatic and sociable.”
“I love my friends,” because I just wanted to be a better friend.
I wrote here, “Finally in my life, I am punctual and responsible.”
Oh my goodness, that was a journey, improving.
And I'm still not perfect,
but I am so much more punctual and responsible than I used to be,
because I have more of a sense of responsibility.
I'm just owning up to things more.
Over here I wrote, “I transfer my emotions to be creative.”
“I understand myself through my creations.”
“My mind is under control.”
“I still may be an insomniac, but my most creative work is done at night.”
So I would say that that's pretty true too.
I've learned to channel my creativity better
and although I still have nights where I stay up really late,
I do feel more creative at night.
So I'm glad that I knew I couldn't really delete that part of me,
the insomniac part, the one that wants to stay up late.
But yeah, “manager and in control of my emotions”.
Looking back at this and my vision board,
I clearly wanted to find my purpose and my place in the world.
I really wanted to be important.
Now I understand that part of me that came
from an insecurity of feeling insignificant and unimportant.
I wrote things on here like “I want to be well known”
“I want to be influential,” because I always had that insecurity
that people didn't care about me, or I was unimportant.
And now I've had the time to heal and look back
and look back at my childhood stories,
the stories I was telling myself and I see where that came from.
It's just interesting how your insecurities can drive you.
And although it's coming from a place of pain,
it's also part of the reason why you succeed
and why you are who you are.
And that, to me, is the reason why I feel like
your pain, your problems, are your gifts,
because although they hurt and they have bad parts,
they also have positive parts
and they also drive you to be the person who you are.
All of that leads you to where you are today,
and it's something to be grateful for.
Looking back at these past eight years,
I've grown so much and I've really become
more of the person that I wanted to be back then.
But it doesn't stop here.
There's still so much left to learn and to grow and improve.
And that's why I'm here on this journey with you guys.
So, thanks for watching today's video on reflecting on all my vision boards,
and I hope that you get to have this moment in your life too,
where you write your visions and draw out
whatever exercises that you want to do.
And in a few years, you look at them and you realize like,
“Wow, I have grown and I am who I wanted to be,”
because that's so empowering:
The fact that you know you have the power
to change your life for the better,
and to know that the best is yet to come.
Love you guys so much,
and I will talk to you guys next time.