Wallflower; the one who hides at parties and tends to be reserved when surrounded by many
people. Also known as the hermit, the loner, or the recluse.. the introverted INFJ type can
easily be viewed as a ‘wallflower’ individual due to their reserved and private manner. Luckily,
with its many advantages, it’s not as lonely or dreary as it’s made out to be.
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Number 1: Their seemingly awkward nature can be mysteriously captivating
They say the silent one in the room is most often the most intelligent. While that may
be a far-fetched claim in some regards, there is certainly some truth that comes with the
statement. In fact, in a group setting of continuous chatter, inauthentic gestures,
and loud opinions being expressed by loud individuals, the INFJ’s backseat approach
often speaks for itself. As a matter of fact, fellow quiet observers will spot the like-minded
INFJ from across the room due to this very quality. While it’s not always apparent,
when it comes to parties, social gatherings and even busy workplaces the INFJ and their uniquely
confident shyness can stick out like a sore thumb. And with an essence of mystery engulfing them,
they’re able to call in the people who they could actually connect with on a more genuine level. The
effortlessness involved can be considered the unspoken language of the intellects.
Number 2: Thinking before they speak Since INFJs spend their spare minutes
analyzing their inner worlds, they don’t act or speak on impulse.. The INFJ wallflower is
never the life of the party or even simply the main speaker of the group, mostly because they
avoid talking just for the sake of talking. In fact, they place extreme importance on
the words they say, and they think about their choice of words and expressions very thoroughly.
Not only do they want to find the least offensive, most empathetic,
and easy-to-understand way of communicating their thoughts, but they want to be able to analyze how
the other person will interpret it. Just as the INFJ dives so deeply into the meaning of other
people's words and gestures, they want theirs to be well-thought out, in case other people are
analyzing them to the degree they do others. Number 3: Diving deep in conversations
Speaking of avoiding talking just for the heck of it, the INFJ doesn’t only place importance on
their word choices, but they also make the conscious judgment of whether or not they
can genuinely engage in a conversation or not. Although they can fake small talk when needed in
a social setting, you won’t truly connect with an INFJ until you discuss the more important things
in life. The natural ‘wallflower’ qualities of the INFJ makes it so that they crave to know how
someone thinks, what they think, and what it is that causes them to think it. And because of that,
seemingly vague, surface-level conversations just don’t give them the same captivating interest. As
a matter of fact, if they can perceive a boring chat coming on, especially rooted
in the latest gossip or negative news report for example, the naturally keen listening skills of
the INFJ can end up being replaced by their own imaginative thoughts to keep them entertained.
Number 4: An automatic connection to Mother Nature
Utilizing their calm demeanor and underlying high-vibrational qualities of love, forgiveness,
compassion and peace, INFJs can easily attract things of similar nature. Not
only are they naturally drawn to all of the offerings Mother Nature provides,
but they resonate with different metaphorical teachings they observe and can’t find elsewhere.
While some people may view a simple walk in the woods as means of exercise, the introspective
INFJ recluse is able to utilize the meditative and healing energies on a much deeper level.
Sunsets, full-moons, the waves crashing on a beach, you name it, the INFJ will always
hold a special place in their hearts for these priceless natural wonders. More importantly,
nature offers one of the things this highly analytical type needs most, the ability to
practice their extroverted sensing function by just ‘being’, with no outer obligations.
Number 5: An instinctive connection with animals
Speaking of Mother Nature and all the wonderful healing qualities it provides, INFJ’s tend to
have a natural draw towards animals. To put it simply, that one friend that rather be tending
to the friendly canine of the party rather than co-mingling with the crowd very well may be the
INFJ of the group. In fact, it might just be the fact that spending time with the pet of the
household takes meaningless conversations and ingenuity out of the equation. Animals provide
the grounding INFJs can use to strengthen their extroverted sensing function without
being overwhelmed by observations, analyzing or their own internal dialogue. In addition to that,
not only are INFJs usually drawn to the calm demeanor of animals, but they are just as
drawn to the INFJ for the same reason. Plus, most animals are fuzzy, gentle, and undoubtedly loving,
which is similar to the energy that INFJs like to omit and surround themselves with.
Number 6: Seeking out and keeping genuine relationships
Private and reluctant to sharing their precious time with undeserved or ill-intended individuals,
the INFJ wallflower only puts in the effort where effort is due. Since they’re known for not opening
up for just anyone, when they finally do create a connection with someone, you can imagine the
importance they place upon that relationship. Whether it’s romantic, platonic, or on the basis
of influence/ mentorship, INFJs will utilize both their logical evaluations as well as their
intuitive knowledge, by going that extra mile to ensure the connection is right for them.
By setting up the necessary boundaries, and only allowing them to be lowered ever so slightly in
intervals they deem most appropriate, they find their soul tribe through life. Not to mention,
making connections isn't considered a strong suit of the introverted INFJ, so to them,
quality over quantity is a ‘no-brainer’ when it comes to relationships of any kind.
Number 7: Taking time for themselves The ability to know when to take time
for yourself is another underrated skill that is crucial to life-satisfaction and optimal
energy levels. Luckily for INFJs, taking time for themselves is another one of their strong suits.
Being considered highly intuitive and highly aware of their emotions and energy levels,
INFJs know how to check in with themselves. Before accepting an invitation, this type will
likely weigh out the pros and cons of whether or not they genuinely prefer to spend their
time doing something other than tending to their prioritized responsibilities. Luckily,
some of those responsibilities include practices that induce self care. If they don’t feel up for
a night out, they won’t show up out of obligation, they will intuitively make the choice to not go.
With that being said, they usually don’t try to convince others of how they feel,
they just make decisions based on their feelings, and that's the end of the story.
People who know an INFJ will know not to take it to heart. So, what does the INFJ do with all this
so-called ‘spare time?’ Well, that brings us to.. Number 8: Uninterrupted creativity
Some may say living life through the preference of spending time with oneself may get boring
after a while. Yet, without the distractions of keeping up with obligated connections or
attending gatherings for the sake of maintaining social status, INFJs are able to truly utilize
their creative potential. The complex inner workings of the INFJ mind allows them to come
up with an influx of creative ideas whenever they’re needed. Since they’re considered the
‘idea-generator’ personality type of the MBTI, INFJs naturally prefer mental focus and lack of
outer stimuli to allow their mind to wander. This subconscious wandering increases the odds that
their mind will come back with some innovative and unique findings. When they intentionally take time
out of their day to practice their preferred creative outlets, they’re able to both ground
themselves and free their minds without totally shutting out their overactive thought processes.
In other words, this uninterrupted “boredom” is actually not boredom at all and may just
be the secret sauce behind finding the creative solutions and ideas they’re so apt to initiate.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, what would you consider to be the best aspect of
living life as an INFJ ‘wallflower’? Let us know in the comments below! Also, make sure to leave us
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