hi there you perfectly functioning
normal human being you're probably here
since one of your friends has mentioned
that he's watching his thing called
boiler magi attack on one punch naruto
art online which you think sounds pretty
cool
but upon researching it a bit you've
noticed that it's been surrounded by the
strange subset of humans that look
weird talk weird and dress like it's
halloween every day well have no fears
these are the species commonly known as
otaku and this is pretty much everything
you need to know about them
the origins of rotaki date back to the
time before christ actually it's a
little known fact that christ and buddha
were huge otakus themselves as depicted
in the documentary saints young men
otaku's are normally big fans of the
entertainment medium anime and manga it
is speculated that otaku's initially
walked the earth when the first manga
were published on ancient cave paintings
though there are a lot less itaki then
probably because the art was pretty [ __ ]
once a human watches enough anime this
triggers a biological chain reaction
that transforms them into an otaku
giving them a natural affinity towards
huge eyes
spiky hair and cute little asian girls
it is a common misconception that anime
originates from the ancient country of
china land owing to his other name
chinese cartoons this is in fact
inaccurate as recent studies have shown
that the origin of anime is actually
linked to a place called japan
which to our best knowledge is located
somewhere around here
there are four main categories of anime
that most otakus watch
hentai hentai hentai and one piece
while hentai remains to be the most
popular and widely known genre worldwide
even to those outside the community
one piece has been growing steadily
since its inception in the middle ages
and is expected to continue until the
eventual heat death of the universe
outside of these four attackers like to
categorize themselves by preferential
viewing habits if you've only watched
things like naruto
sword art online or attack on titan for
instance you are referred to as what is
known as a casual scrub
while if you've seen legend of the
galactic heroes then you've reached a
god-like status and are wise beyond your
years and it is your duty to constantly
address how bad every other anime is
compared to that
this is commonly known as an elitist if
one otaku does not approve of another's
choice of anime preference
it is common for them to express this by
remarking your viewing habits are
literally comparable to excrements which
approximately translates to you have
[ __ ] taste for short
this term is also a common way to refer
to an otaku's preferences in women
and of course pornography if you're
interested in what the majority of the
community deem as a good anime then
popular sites like my anime list provide
a platform for people to vote on how
good they think an anime is
be sure to look out for any masterpieces
close to a score of 10 out of 10
while be wary of any anime close to the
lowest possible score anyone can give of
5 out of 10.
usually it's a rare sight to see in
otaku in the wild as they are normally
in a permanent state of hibernation in
their rooms
they will however traverse the outside
world on the odd occasions to attend
anime conventions an event where you are
able to see herds of wild otaku
congregate to socialize among themselves
while anyone can join it is highly
unadvised to
as it is normal social etiquette to
spend no less than your entire life
savings over the course of the weekend
samotakis however are masters of
disguise and operate in normal society
camouflaging themselves despite being
huge fans and wanting to spout out
references in normal life
these are the ones you need to be most
wary of however as you never know the
next time you may walk into a supply
closet to find them masturbating to
tentacle pawn
usual resource gathering and survival
works a bit differently in the mind of
an otaku
for example using money to eat and sleep
is completely optional based on personal
preferences but spending 700
filling your room up with anime blu-rays
and figurines is considered absolutely
[ __ ] normal
normal fashion sense doesn't apply to
the average otaku as dressing up comes
in all different shapes and sizes but
the general rule of thumb is you have to
try your hardest to look as much like an
anime character as you can for some
amazing results
or you can just slap on some cat ears
naruto headband or a schoolgirl uniform
and call it a day
this rule applies to both male and
females extra points if you're a big
burly man following these rules as you
will probably be seen as a fashion god
these guidelines apply to absolutely
everyone except asians as they
automatically look like anime characters
in otaku culture a life partner is
referred to as a waifu and is normally
chosen among the array of characters
seen in anime polygamy is not uncommon
in the culture as a single character can
be waifus to multiple people and
everyone can have multiple waifus but
while a subject can have multiple waifus
there can be only one
best girl a title bestowed upon the most
prestigious of waifus that any otaku
would easily give their life for
a topic that can get so intense that
it's been red marked as a possible
catalyst to starting world war three
an important thing to note is that
waifus and wives are not the same thing
wives or human females in general are
seen as imperfect
beings that can be prone to things like
bad hair days stds and of course
human emotions while waifus are the
perfect embodiment of a partner
aesthetically
emotionally and occasionally sexually
that only exists in the 2d plane and
thus
unattainable to us three-dimensional
beings but don't actually tell any of
them that
it is highly advised against getting a
wife or girlfriend as this is seen as a
betrayal to your waifu and considered a
crime punishable by death the same also
rings true for husbands and husbandos if
you are of the female species a mythical
species that is said to exist in the
otaku world though no concrete evidence
has been presented thus far to confirm
their existence because of this it is
rare for otaku to reproduce with other
human beings and instead otaku is
multiplied by converting
perfectly functioning human beings into
one of their own in a process called
stop
being a [ __ ] normie thus spreading
their love for anime exponentially to
anyone they can
in a process very similar to viral
infections if the act of mating does
occur however
it's a standard procedure that both
specimens be quarantined for a minimum
of 10 years and any child be confiscated
in order to be destroyed
there are two main factions of religion
that exist hareheism and madoka-ism
for centuries these opposing factions
have been warring with one another one
arguing that the almighty omnipotent god
is actually a cute high school girl and
short skirt
and the other arguing that the almighty
omnipotent god is actually a cute high
school girl in short skirts
while similar both sport different
traditions madoka followers are firm
believers in a devil which is the source
of all suffering in the world that only
the holy being of madoka can protect us
from
or harahias believe their god is
unknowing and show their support in a
ceremony called the harihara yukai which
sees a group of followers performing a
series of organized spasms like a
confused drunk having seizures in a
nightclub the ceremony has since been
banned in 27 different countries due to
an increased rate of suicide to any
onlookers who sees the ceremony
attempted this is not to be confused
with the caramel danson which is only
illegal in the state of nevada
every year millions of rotakus make the
pilgrimage to akihabara as it is seen as
the promised land in both religions and
for good reason
upon arrival any otaku will be greeted
with no less than 50 figurines a choice
of three maids and a hand job from
kanohana's hour akihabara is responsible
for the disappearance of hundreds of
otaku every month who've been rumored to
have transcended the physical plane and
reached the permanent state of nirvana
it is said that this is the only place
in the world that waifus become real
though this has yet to be confirmed
otakus have managed to evolve their own
language which finds its roots in old
english and japanese
however while many otakus believe
themselves to be bilingual please be
aware that many japanese words used in
their language have very different
meanings
senpai means i watch way too much
pewdiepie sugoi means i am literally the
cancer of this earth konichiwa
means oh god please kill me now and
watashi wa
means i am please be advised that
otaku's expressed emotions in different
ways than us
while a normal person might say that was
mildly entertaining in otaku language
it's oh my god that was a guy jesus
before finding out they hung themselves
a few days later because a japanese
person couldn't understand what they
were saying
under no circumstances will an otaku
actually go out of their way to learn
japanese as
anyone caught doing so is burned at the
stake
in conclusion otaku's and the anime
community in general may look bizarre to
the outside with his own language and
culture but once you get into it it can
be pretty fun
the anime is pretty good and everyone
here is actually quite friendly just
don't be too much of a [ __ ] weirdo
you weirdo
hey guys hope you enjoyed the video
thank you very much this month to
gabe brown vincent mooney miradari craig
watson
and everyone else on patreon for
supporting me this month i'm actually
also starting a two dollar monthly
giveaway this month so if you're
interested head over to my patreon to
find out more info
the first thing i'm giving away is this
saberalta figure but if you're already
pledging two dollars more you're
automatically entered anyway but anyway
that's it for
me i've been giggup and i'll see you all
next time