- This video is going to address the number one block
that most people
have in their lives that are keeping them
from really stepping into a new version of themselves.
One of the quotes that I heard a long time ago,
that I found to be true is that
in life you don't necessarily get that which you want,
but you always get in life
a reflection of who you are being.
And this explains a lot because whatever we want,
we automatically lack.
If I want that over there,
I'm saying that over there isn't here.
If someone really wants a relationship,
it's because they're not in a relationship.
If somebody wants to be doing what they love full-time,
it's because they're not already doing it.
Now, the key to transformation that I have learned
that has completely transformed my own life
is what I'm going to be sharing with you in this video,
the number one block
to you stepping into this new version of you,
and step-by-step how you can do it
that will completely transform your life
the way that it has been mined back in 2017.
And in this video,
I'm gonna show you exactly how to do that.
I'm going to be sharing with you that block,
what is called the story gap.
I call it the story gap.
And this is something that I've learned,
not only from my own experience,
but from reading different personal development concepts
and mixing it also with spirituality.
There's a book called "Psycho-Cybernetics".
"Psycho-Cybernetics" is a book
that was written by a guy that is a,
was a doctor for that of plastic surgery.
And he noticed that anytime his clients would come
and they'd get something on their face fixed
or on their body fixed,
unless they changed their inner self image,
they would not feel any different,
or many times they wouldn't even think
that they look different,
because what he realized is we all have an inner self image.
This inner self image is on autopilot
and every single one of us
are living in alignment with this inner self image.
We are thinking equal to that self image.
We are feeling emotions equal to that identity,
that version of us,
and we are taking action equal to that version of us.
Now, the missing key in the block for so many people
is that they're focused on thinking.
They're focused on what they want to create in their life.
And even, you know, over here,
this is how reality works.
This is,
this is something he could study many,
many ancient texts for this,
but our beliefs create our reality.
Whatever you believe to be true
is being reflected back to you.
So this right here is the cycle.
We have belief,
whatever we believe to be true,
then creates that and generates a feeling.
Based on that feeling,
we then feel and think thoughts
that are equal to that feeling.
Those thoughts then may propel us to take action
or not to take action,
which then gets us a certain result,
which then fuels and reaffirms the initial belief.
So if we believe that we're not worthy
to live our full-time,
like maybe to live and do what we love full time.
We may then settle
for a reality where we are working
a nine to five job we hate.
That's what I did for like 10 years.
I worked a job I hated.
I told my, I thought similar to that reality,
I felt emotion similar to that reality
and took action similar to that reality.
How would I take action similar to that reality?
I went to a job.
I went to the nine to five job every, you know,
five days a week.
And I, I bitched about it.
I complained to my coworkers and friends
that I didn't want to be there,
but my reality was directly equal to that.
So the key to changing your reality
is becoming aware of your beliefs
and the blocks that people have that keep them,
are what keep them in their current reality.
Now there's something called this story gap.
And I believe that if you understand this one idea,
this can completely change your life.
And it'll show you the missing key
to why you may get the same results over and over again.
You ready for it?
All right.
So this is it.
The story gap,
the only thing that is holding you back
from experiencing your dream reality
is the story that you tell yourself
about why you aren't there already
or why you're not worthy of it
or that pretty much the story that's keeping you
in your current reality.
Now here's something I've learned from Joe Dispenza.
Here's something I've learned from other ancient teachings
is that there's an infinite number
of potential realities that exist.
This is what quantum physics shows us.
There's a potential, there,
there's infinite potential.
And that means there's many different versions of you.
There's a version of you
that's already living in your full-time job that you love.
There's or, or working for yourself.
There's a version of you
that's already in a happy relationship.
The only reason that's not a part of your reality
is because that's not part of your story.
That is the story that you currently have
is keeping you locked in your current reality.
So the story that you might have may be,
why do we keep on and hold onto these stories?
Because these stories are very familiar.
They're very comfortable.
And even though, and sometimes I think as well,
it's like those stories help us to feel right.
They help to justify our own past,
to justify why we are where we are.
When I had that nine to five job,
I told myself that story,
like, I don't want to be working here
but I am working here.
I would rather be doing what I love.
But I got like almost fueled,
and in a way, like, by being angry about it,
it was justifying why I was where I was.
And also there were some positive payoffs.
Anything we do is cause there's some sort of payoff.
One of the dirtiest payoffs is the, the,
the need to be right.
You want to be right.
I just experienced this actually just,
just a couple of minutes ago
with actually my assistant.
She does a great job at what she does.
And she takes care
of so many different levels of my life, you know,
my personal life and you know,
so I can focus on my business and stuff like that.
But one thing she takes care of
is she takes care of and she pays my bills and all that.
She makes sure that like everything's taken care of
because at one point I like, seven, 2012,
I went through a spiritual awakening
and I became very kind of ungrounded.
And my credit got completely tanked
because I was becoming so spiritual
that I thought money
and everything just doesn't matter, right.
So for seven years, my credit was screwed.
And then I got on top of everything
and now, I have like amazing credit and everything.
But basically one thing that my assistant does
is she makes sure that all my bills are paid.
Well, this last week,
I've gotten like two or three different,
like notices that
there's something that like needs to be paid
or something like that, some bill,
cause I just moved into this new house,
like some bill that needed to be paid.
And I get from that,
seeing those things, I got triggered.
Cause I'm like, wait,
you're supposed to be taking care of this.
And I kinda came at her like,
you're not doing this.
You need to do it.
If you're not going to do it, I'm going to do it.
I was kind of a dick about it.
And I realized that
what was happening is
I was being stubborn as well.
She actually did do it.
For some reason, they sent the,
the notices like this is the last attempt
or something like that,
even though it was on auto pay,
it was like this weird thing.
But I could tell that I had this addiction
to being right in the situation where I was like,
I shouldn't have to like see these second notice things
and stuff like that.
Are you doing your job correctly?
And even though I know she is doing her job correctly.
It was an interesting thing.
But I could tell that I wanted to be right.
Cause she got and got triggered and it was like, hey,
before you blame me for this,
like ask me or something, you know.
So there's this interesting thing between us.
But what I realized for myself was that
I was, I'm addicted to in a way being right.
And also maybe even addicted to an old story.
And I'll talk about this in a minute,
an old story that comes from childhood
because back in childhood,
I always had somebody, my ex step-mom at least,
from seven to 15 years old,
and many of you know the story,
but she was very manipulative.
She was very controlling.
She was like, I couldn't really trust her.
There was no way I could trust her.
And I think what happens is I developed a story
that said that I can't trust people.
I have to do everything myself
if I want to be taken care of.
And therefore, there was like a block there
when it comes to trusting people.
So it's an interesting dynamic
that I'm realizing in my own life, in some ways,
that I have to become aware of
and I have to let go of the payoff of being right,
because that pay off to be right
will keep us in a reality
that is unpreferable.
And I even, I've had experiences
even over the last like year
where I've hired people to work on my house,
that something happens and it's like, I couldn't trust them.
Or even something just recently,
I had my windows tinted on my car
and this guy came and did it.
He did two, he did my two cars.
I have two cars.
And he did one car.
Did it well.
Had him do the second car.
When he did it,
he put it,
I have this like gym sticker.
This is the sticker
that gets me into the gym parking lot here in Austin.
And he left a sticker on and tinted over it.
And I'm like, what the hell?
Like, why,
why did I need to put the registration there.
Like registration in Texas goes on the front windshield.
And I needed to get him to redo that
because for some reason he put tint over a sticker,
a temporary sticker,
and there's,
this guy ended up freaking out on my assistant
and stuff like that
because we asked him to come and redo that part of it.
And it was this interesting thing
where maybe I had this belief that I can't trust
or this belief in like that there's like that,
that resistance that I have to deal with.
And it's an interesting thing because there's,
until that belief has changed,
I'll continue to experience these little incongruities
that are there.
And the key to this is becoming aware of the belief,
becoming aware of it.
90% of all transformation is awareness.
It's awareness.
I think I said that funny kind of.
Awareness is 90% of transformation.
Once you become aware of the old story,
you then stop identifying with it as a part of reality.
So instead of like, oh, I can't trust people,
I have to do everything myself
or there's going to be these hiccups that happen.
Instead of that story,
it's like, can I let go of that,
even though that story
may be very consistent from childhood.
So the key and,
and to this is realizing as well
that anytime we look at our stories from the past,
what quantum physics shows us
is that we take the memory out of our memory bank.
We look at it,
we change that memory,
and we put it back in the memory bank.
And by the time we thought of something a thousand times,
10 times, 20 times, whatever,
we've changed it over and over again, with a story.
We overlay a story to actually what happened.
And that story that we play over it
then becomes a part of our identity.
So part of, and most of our past
isn't even being actually what happened.
Is our story, our interpretation of what happened.
And we know this too,
because you could get some people
that 10 people see a car accident
and you could interview them immediately afterwards.
You get like 10 different stories about what happened.
Crazy.
Sometimes it's like the car came out of this direction
and then somebody said, no, it came out of this direction.
It's like,
it's crazy how much our own experience of reality,
we develop these stories that then keep us
trapped into similar patterns.
Why, because we want to be right.
There's reasons, and that keeps us
entrained in this reality.
But this is the thing to know.
And this is a lot of what Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about.
The past does not equal the present.
We are living in our past.
And really what we're doing
is we're living in the old meaning.
We've given things, meaning in the past.
I'm not worthy of a loving relationship.
Maybe that first relationship
was our relationship with our parents.
Someone's going to abandon me.
I can't trust.
And those beliefs are on autopilot.
And what happens is because they're on autopilot,
it keeps us trapped in that old past reality.
The past does not equal your present.
The past isn't even really a thing that exists.
There's many, there's an infinite number of pasts
that you could connect to.
And that's why one of the most powerful things you could do
is to learn meditation,
which isn't really something you'd learn.
It's just something you,
you'd be present to the moment.
You become aware of the stories
that you're telling yourself,
the stories that you have in your life
that are keeping you trapped into current reality.
And then you make a choice
and you start to be a new version of you,
a more authentic version of you.
That's it.
That's as simple as transformation is.
Become aware of the story.
There's a gap between the current story
you're telling yourself
to the belief and the reality you want to live in.
But you have to become aware of that story first.
And you have to be aware that most of us
are living in the past
because we're living based on old meanings.
There's a meaning we have to the past.
There's a meaning we have to who we are.
And most of us, by the way,
there's core stories that we have.
And most of the core stories we have
are one of three different stories.
Either the abandonment wounds.
We're afraid people are going to leave us.
We're afraid that if we're not good enough,
that people may leave us
or we're afraid of being rejected.
That's also part of the abandonment wound.
Some of you may be people pleasers.
If you're a people pleaser,
a lot of people that goes through spiritual awakening
are people with,
that are considered empaths.
They can feel other people's energy, very strongly.
And one of the reasons they've done that
is because it's a form of survival mechanism.
Most likely when you were a kid,
if you're an empath,
you went through some type of trauma
or some type of experience
where you gained survival and safety
of tuning to someone else.
And if you could then get their validation
or their love or their approval, then you would feel safe.
But it's literally looking at the external
for something that can only be found on the internal.
And a lot of times,
people that have the abandonment wound
abandoned themselves in the process
of making others happy.
Why?
Because when they were kids,
it's like, it's okay if my needs aren't met.
As long as I make mom or dad happy,
they'll give me validation and then I'll be okay.
So in relationships now,
they will abandon themselves
to get validation or approval
to then feel safe and happy,
when the key is actually
to stop abandoning the self
and to start,
in a way, giving yourself that validation.
There's the worthiness and shame wound,
where we think we're broken.
We have this belief that there's something wrong with me.
I had to shed that.
A lot of it can also be tied to this as well,
but worthiness, if we believe we're not worthy,
then we'll find somebody in relationship
that reflects the back the fact that we're the,
the fact that belief that we're unworthy.
and then the last one's can't trust.
Having to control everything in our life.
There's like the three core wounds.
A lot of times will see a parent
that cheated on someone else.
Someone broke trust with them.
Somebody abused them sexually, physically.
And then it's like, I can't trust.
And that will then cause that, like,
like when I look at me not being able to trust,
I can see that it probably had to do with the ex step-mom,
quite a bit of it.
Some of it could be because my dad
allowed my ex step-mom in my life
and didn't protect my brother and I,
there could be that.
You know, I love my dad,
but I can definitely see how that pacivity.
And that pacivity, by the way for my dad,
comes from his own abandonment wound
from his dad who was an alcoholic
who wasn't really there.
And my dad is a,
is a strong people pleaser, nice guy.
So anyways, the thing that I would focus on instead,
and I'd highly recommend you look into,
is who are you being in this present moment?
Who are you?
Do you believe that you are your past,
that, because these things
are what keeping you inside that reality.
And if you didn't know as well,
I have three free meditations.
These are the most powerful meditations that I have.
They're completely free.
You go to aarondoughty.com/free
or click the link below.
They are the inner child meditation
for healing the core story,
the self-image meditation for changing yourself image
and a love meditation for feeling self-love.
These are meditations,
some of which have 4 million views on YouTube.
These, you can listen to, no ads or anything.
And all you do is you go to aarondoughty.com/free,
check those out,
download them,
listen to them for 21 days,
watch out because it change your life.
And this is really the key
of what have changed my life the most over,
you know, I had to let go of having ADHD,
the story I told myself
about having a lot of energy in ADHD,
the story about my painful past
and I kept attracting woman in my, to my life
that were similar to that past that I left.
Once you change your stories about who you are,
you can then be the version of you that is empowered.
And that's really what changes everything.
If you want to learn the five secrets to letting go
that will make you attracted AF,
that's this video right here.
I highly recommend that you'll watch it
because it will help you
with what you learned in this video.
The less attached you are,
the more attractive you are.
People are attracted to somebody
that is in their own frame and doesn't--