how to deal with fear and overcome it stay tuned this is statement cart from
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regular basis fear failure and fear of success you probably have at some point
in your life experienced both let's start with fear of failure so what is
really fear of failure it's pretty simple
you are afraid to try something because you're afraid you will fail and there
could be many different consequences to that it could be financial consequences
it could just be your self-esteem or you feel like you might let other people
down so rather than try something rather than put yourself out there you are
afraid to do it you're because you're afraid to fail now some of us are we
drive ourselves through our fear of failure I know a lot of people like this
I was like this at one time and there's nothing wrong with being aware of what
your fears are there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are afraid
to fail however driving yourself through fear through the fear of failure trying
to drive yourself to success by fearing failure is going to ultimately limit you
it may get you where you want to go in the short term and for some people they
actually it works so well for them that they do create these incredible lives
they are extremely successful but they're never satisfied
because they feel they fear that failure is always around the corner so what if
you have tremendous success if you have tremendous success but you're always
afraid just going to be taken from you you're always afraid that you're going
to fail how much are you enjoying that success probably not very much so
basically there's two things people do when they fear failure either they don't
try it all or they drive themselves with fear so they try to drive themselves to
success using fear and neither of these are
going to work first of all if you don't ever try you're never going to get
you're not gonna even you're never gonna have a shot at getting whatever it is
that you want or succeeding in the way that you want to succeed and if you're
driving yourself with fear even if you do succeed it's not going to be
enjoyable and that's really what it should be about a success should
ultimately fulfill us if it's not then it's not success then there is fear of
success now I get a lot of people who push back on this I did a video about
fear of success that there's not really any such thing as fear of success I'll
link that video right here just click on the card right there before you jump my
case and say no the fear of success is very real I have it well watch that
video for one thing and another thing is it's not really fear of success it's
fear of change there's no such thing as really having fear of what it is you
want of course you want what you want and if you didn't you wouldn't really
want it if you didn't want it so you want what you want the only thing that
you're afraid of is how it might change you or how it might change the people
around you or how it might change circumstances around you and if people
now dislike you because you are successful the people you care about now
dislike you then that won't feel good that's change that's not the success
that you don't want the main problem with this concept of fear of success
it's more of a self-help self-improvement personal development
niche phrase people say oh that must be what my problem is
and it's all it's doing is adding more noise to an already noisy situation
there is a fear that you have it's probably a fear of change calling it a
fear of success only twists things up and makes it even more difficult to
solve the problem so the best way to deal with fear is to also understand
what your values are for trying the thing that you fear so get very clear
about what it is that you want because if you're not clear about what you want
the fear is going to win so get very clear about what it is you want and go
deeper with it what are the deeper values that you you're after and then
come back to the fear and put it the context of the deeper values and
things that you're really trying to fulfill here and then become the
container of all of these things become the container of all the things that you
value become the container of all the things that you want all the things that
you desire and become the container of that fear put the fear and perspective
of the totality of who you are and look at your entire life you have had fears
fear failure fear of change and sometimes those worst fears have come
true but yet you're still alive you're still breathing your life isn't ruined
you're okay so put fear in perspective fear is a great alarm system and you
don't want to get rid of it it lets you know when something's not right or it
lets you know when you need to pay attention to something that's good
that's great except the fear just don't resist it and don't turn it into
something bigger than what it is and when people say they have a fear of
success they're turning their fears into something bigger than what it really is
acknowledge that you have a fear of change acknowledge that you fear that if
you get what you want others will be jealous then assess that situation if
people really get jealous and they don't like you because you you've gotten what
you want and you've succeeded maybe there shouldn't you be your friends
names you shouldn't be hanging out with them and that happens to me all the time
I more and more and creating the life that I've always wanted and I'm starting
to find that there are certain people and it surprises me sometimes who in
their minds they just don't think that I deserve it and I'm not doing anything
wrong not doing anything moral immoral I'm not cheating or anything like that
but in because they're not doing anything about it they just feel like I
shouldn't be able to access that I shouldn't be able to have it and in some
cases they actually have tried to sabotage me my story is not unique
it happens to a lot of people and you don't even have to be like super
successful it's just when people see you getting what you want even on a small
level and they don't have it they feel like it's unfair they feel like you
don't deserve it even though you've been working your
butt off to do so then maybe it's time to get away from
those people so put your fears in perspective and really assess the risk
is it really worth it for me not to do something is it really that risky the
truth is unless it really poses a physical threat to you
most things are not nearly as risky as you fear they're not nearly as risky as
you think they are will it really ruin your life would it really ruin you
financially if the question is no it's probably not that risky you don't want
to do anything that could physically harm you you don't want to do anything
that would wreck you financially other than that you can pretty much recover
from anything most of us want pretty reasonable things we have pretty
reasonable goals they might be lofty but they're reasonable meaning we don't have
to hurt anybody to get them we don't have to risk ourselves physically or
financially maybe just some extent financially if you're in business but I
mean there's almost nothing you can't recover from so it's more about putting
the fear in perspective and respecting the fear respecting that there is a part
of you that lets you know that there's something to watch out for here but it's
not the only thing so take the microscope off of the fear
and look at it from a macro level look at it from a level of yes this is a
component of what I'm doing there is a risk here but what really are the risk
and really unpack them and what you'll find is when you really face the fear
when you look the fear at what the fear is trying to tell you and you put it in
perspective it's not nearly as bad as what you think it is so fear failure