expectation on other people, unrealistic expectation on mechanical objects,
I bet you've been angry ay your car before or your computer possibly,
unrealistic expectations on the world in general, or just about anything,
animate or inanimate. But these unrealistic expectations,
if they're not governed and brought back into realism's can allow us to stay
angry for sometimes periods of time. But the question is, is why,
why would we want to live our life with anger?
When we could adjust our expectations and be more realistic.
If you find yourself in anger, there's a number of things you can do.
You can go back and ask yourself the question, is what I'm angry about reality?
Because I could be projecting an expectation for instance,
for somebody else to live in my values.
And if I'm expecting them to live in my values instead of their own,
I'm basically breaking rule No.1 In biology and in human behavior,
that people live according to their own values, not yours.
And that they make decisions according to what they think will give him the
greatest advantage over disadvantage, greatest reward over risk.
So anytime you expect them to live in your values, not theirs,
you're going to be angry.
You're going to feel anger and aggression and feel you want to blame them and
feel betrayed and you want to criticize them and challenge them.
And you'll probably feel even depressed in some cases.
And you could do the same thing to yourself.
If you don't know what your own values are,
and you put expectations on you to do something that doesn't match your highest
values, you're going to be angry at yourself. This happens quite often. In fact,
99% of the population live in the fantasy and have an unrealistic expectation on
themselves that they're going to be financially independent someday.
When in fact only 1% actually obtain it.
Because really only 1% have a true high value on building wealth and having
financial independence.
Majority of people like to spend their money and buy things.
So if you have an expectation to live outside your values,
you're going to be angry and the same ABCDs of negativity are going to show up
in your life, anger and aggression, blame, betrayal to yourself.
So it's wiser to have realistic expectations.
If you do find yourself in anger, there's a number of things you can do.
And that is you could ask, whatever the person did, how did it benefit you?
Cause if you find the benefits out of it, you calm down the anger.
And if you also find out and look for your own accountability for what
unrealistic expectations you probably were projecting, that also helps it.
Because if you're keep projecting unrealistic expectations on yourself or others
or the world around you, or any object around you,
you're going to keep setting yourself up for anger.
Anger is a feedback mechanism to let you know,
you have an unrealistic expectation. That's it.
Once you understand that and you set realistic expectations,
anger doesn't have to be there to remind you. And, but if you do,
you can also find the benefits.
One of the benefits is it's teaching you to be real,
get down to reality instead of living in fantasy.
Delusions and fantasies and unrealistic expectations can lead to a lot of
depression. I've said on my depression presentation,
that depression is a comparison of your current reality to a fantasy that you're
addicted to. An unrealistic expectation that's unmet. Well, similar to anger.
In fact, anger is inside the depression.
It's one of the components of depression.
So go back and make sure you're not projecting your values onto somebody else.
Make sure they're really your values when you're projecting them onto yourself
and make sure you're realistic when it comes to objects around you or maybe the
world in general.
I have people sometimes angry at the world because it's not at peace when in
fact peace and war, support and challenge, cooperation and conflict,
are part of life. And to have a balanced orientation is a realistic expectation.
To have a one sided expectation is fantasy, and guaranteed to create anger.
In fact,
some of the most angry people I know are the people looking for peace all the
time, because they're looking for something that's not real. Get real,
get grounded, know your values, know other people's values,
and the anger will subside in your life because it doesn't have to be your keep
reminding you of what these unrealistic expectations are. And also,
I had a lady one time, she had a son who was involved in motorcross,
and she had this kind of fantasy and delusion that God was protecting her son.
And so he didn't have any injuries for four years doing motorcross.
And then one day, he got into an injury and he literally became paralyzed.
And from the injury, the inflammation, that paralyzed him,
she was now angry at what she perceived God to be.
First she was having a fantasy, God was protecting her son.
Then she had a fantasy or a nightmare that he didn't protect.
And now she's angry. First, she's thanking him. And then she's angry.
Cursing afterwards and blessing him initially.
Then all of a sudden she found out that the very son,
as a result of getting treatment for this, went to a chiropractor,
the chiropractor helped adjust his neck and actually reduced the
paralysis and brought him back to normal.
And he ended up being a doctor and that's more than he would have done in
education if it hadn't been for the injury.
And now she was going around thanking God again. So first she was thanking God.
Then she was cursing God. Then she was thanking God again,
because she didn't realize that she just had an unrealistic expectation.
Now I'm not saying that there's not possibly an intelligence of the universe
that people call God helping in the journey of life.
But I'm saying that some people have unrealistic expectations and bless,
and curse and go back and forth with deep emotions and stay in anger.
Have realistic expectations. Ground yourself. Know your values,
know other people's values,
and you'll be more appreciative of life instead of anger. And one last thing,
if you're having a situation where you are caught in an angry moment or an angry
period, and no matter what you do, it's,
doesn't seem to lift and you can't seem to find the unrealistic expectations
cause you wanting to be hurt and play the victim,
my advice is go to our website and contact us and find a
way of getting to the Breakthrough Experience.
I have had people week after week after week that have been stuck in a vicious
cycle of anger for sometimes days, weeks, months, years, or even decades,
because they didn't want to let go of their hurt.
They wanted to hold onto their illusion, come to the Breakthrough Experience,
I assure you, I show you a way to dissolve that.
So you don't have to be living with that anger.
You may come up with new ones in the future,
but you don't have to be carrying old ones. I'll show you how to dissolve it.
It's just questions away.
Because the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you
ask. In the Breakthrough Experience,
I show you how to ask a new set of questions,
how to set realistic expectations and how to dissolve anger.
It's part of our normal procedure in the Breakthrough Experience.