-[ Heavy sigh ] Hi, everyone.
It's Jimmy Fallon. Welcome to another edition
of "The Tonight Show At Home Edition."
Today is Friday
and I know every day kind of feels the same, a little bit,
but, today kind of feels like a Friday again.
First time in a long time, I think, you know?
And it's been a week.
It's been, you know, a lot of time, but,
I have no plan for the weekend.
Normally, I'm...
pumpin' it up.
"Let's go to the beach.
Let's go to the play.
We'll do something, then we'll have a play date!
We'll do this; we'll dah dah."
Nothing. I got nothing for the kids.
So the kids have that to look forward to --
absolutely [ Laughing ] nothing this weekend.
We're staying at home like we're supposed to do
and it's kind of fun, in a weird way.
It's freeing. I'm actually, uh,
happy to be here, lucky to be here and safe and...
that's what I'm gonna do.
And I'm gonna try not to, you know,
overthink everything and take every day one day at a time.
I thank you all for watching.
I thank NBC for airing this.
YouTube, for airing it on YouTube as well,
for the people that don't have cable or a TV.
They can watch our shows.
Thank you for donating.
State Farm.
Our good neighbors at State Farm.
Where is that?
There it is.
Winnie wrote this out.
Kind of rushed it today, I feel.
-[ Laughing ]
-Redcross.org/statefarm.
State Farm said they'd match
up to $200,000 this week in donations.
That's $400,000.
We're very close to reaching $200,000,
I'm very happy to say.
[ Clapping] I love you guys. That's awesome.
So, that means $400,000 have been donated to Red Cross,
thanks to you guys.
They matched -- They matched your donation.
Thank you to our neighbors at State Farm
and our friends at Red Cross are so, so thankful and happy.
We talked to them today and they wanted
to let everyone know to please give blood, if you can.
I'm not hearing Winnie.
-Why are you doing that?
-I thought that was Gary.
I was like, "Wait. Gary can open the door?"
-No. -[ Laughs ]
-Who is that? -I want inclusion!
-Oh, my gosh!
Guys, I thought you were already upstairs.
Hi. Nice to see ya. -Hi.
-Oh. -Wait. Give it to me.
-Oh.
Hi, guys. -Hi.
-Anyways, if you can --
I'll close the door. Don't worry.
-[ Laughing ]
[ Running footsteps ]
-Hey. -[ Laughing ]
-I was try-- Sure. [ Piano playing ]
-She got the note about...
[ Laughs ]
-[ Heavy sigh ] -...putting her coat on.
-[ Laughing ] It was so quiet for a second.
It was so quiet for a second. [ Sigh ]
Anyways, if you can give blood, please give blood.
They need blood donations, please.
And my guest tonight,
Miley Cyrus, [ Clap ]
the coolest kid in school, has been doing a show
on Instagram Live for the past three weeks, a talk show.
So she now knows what it's like to be a talk show host
and so, I wanna talk to her about that.
Also her foundation is happyhippies.org.
Oh, Winnie, come on.
This is -- -[ Laughs ]
-I mean, come on.
Anyways, that's supposed to say happyhippies.org.
They're doing amazing stuff for homeless youth,
but they're switching up their initiative for this pandemic.
You'll see what she has to say. She's great.
Also, we have Rachel Brosnahan, who,
covenanthouse.org is her charity.
Please give to that. We're talking to Rachel,
"The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel."
And then, we have music from Lewis Capaldi!
[ Clapping ] My man!
[ Scat singing ]
I love that song so much.
♪ I need somebody to heal ♪
♪ Somebody to love ♪
[ Mumbling lyrics ]
♪ Now the day bleeds ♪
♪ Into nightfall ♪
Thank you, Frannie.
Anyways, he's on the show tonight,
performing a song from that album.
I love Lewis Capaldi.
Guys, let's start the show.
It's Friday, "Tonight Show."
Let's do a mono, monologue, right now.
♪♪
Alright, welcome
to "The Tonight Show At Home Edition."
Well, guys, it is Friday, so,
congrats on getting through another workweek on Zoom
without your boss noticing you're drunk or stoned.
Listen to this -- There's a petition gaining momentum
to name Dr. Fauci
People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive.
You know these are crazy times
when the Sexiest Man Alive vote is gonna come down to
Dr. Fauci and Joe Exotic. ♪♪
If Dr. Fauci doesn't win,
he should at least get People magazine's
Sexiest Man Trying to Keep You Alive.
♪♪
That's good.
CNN's Chris Cuomo said
he's lost 13 pounds in 3 days due to coronavirus.
So, it's official --
I definitely don't have coronavirus.
♪♪
My man boobs looking weird -[ Laughing ]
-in this light?
I'll just do this like this.
I saw that more than 12,000 people just applied
to be a NASA astronaut.
Yep. Everyone spent two weeks with their family and thought,
"I gotta get out to space."
♪♪
Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber
is now streaming Broadway shows online for free.
My wife will probably enjoy that more
than me singing "Phantom" songs
with a surgical mask covering half my face.
♪ Slowly ♪
[ Singing indistinctly ]
♪ I am in a sewer ♪
♪ Trying to find love ♪
Never saw "Phantom."
I can only assume that's what it was, right?
He live in a sewer? -[ Laughs ]
-He has a mask or something. ♪♪
I get it.
People love -- The heart wants what the heart wants, you know?
♪♪
I saw Tom Brady is moving his family
into Derek Jeter's mansion in Tampa.
Though it's not a done deal, yet.
First, Jeter smartly wants to run a credit check on Brady
[ Laughter ] and get first and last month's rent up-front.
Very smart.
You never know, man.
[ Laughs ]
Dwayne Johnson posted a video on Instagram
about washing your hands,
where he's shirtless, in just a towel,
and rapping a song from "Moana."
Yeah. When Dwayne does that, it's fun,
but when I do that, it's
"Dad, you're ruining homeschool."
♪♪
And, finally, according to scientists,
mice can actually make facial expressions based on their mood.
Americans heard that and were like, "That's great.
Any word on the cure for coronavirus?"
♪♪
Mice can --
That's our monologue for tonight.
Hey, I think it's time for "Thank You Notes"!
Girls, get down here!
Help out Daddy!
[ Funk sting plays ]
-Hey, guys. Today's Friday and,
even though we're quarantined, it's still a day
where I check my inbox; return some emails;
and, of course, I send out thank-you notes.
[ Laughing ] Well, I was wondering
if I could write out my weekly thank-you notes right now.
[ Laughter ]
Frannie, can I get some thank-you note writing
music, please?
[ Tender theme plays ]
That's good; that's good.
That's good.
Thank you, wearing a hat,
for being the new taking a shower.
[ Whispering ] Go. Good job.
Thank you, home gyms,
for making me realize that every time I said,
"If I only had more free time," I was just lying to myself.
♪♪
Thank you, making homemade pizza.
Yes, it takes much longer than delivery
and involves way more effort, but, in the end,
it tastes terrible.
♪♪
-Are you ready? -Mm-hmm.
Winnie, perfect.
♪♪
-Thank you, tracking a package,
for being the closest thing I have
to watching sports right now.
"Oh.
Oh, it's in Iowa!
The package made it to Iowa, guys!" Okay.
♪♪
Thank you, the phrase "How you holdin' up?"
for being the polite way of asking someone,
"So, are you also on the brink of insanity?"
-[ Chuckle ] -[ Chuckle ]
-Hm? -Yeah.
That's perfect. Don't touch.
Thank you, KFC,
for giving away a million pieces of fried chicken.
Just maybe don't tell people it's Finger Lickin' Good.
It's Rubber Glovin' Finger Licking Good.
♪♪
Thank you, weather app,
for reminding me that there's weather.
♪♪
Alright. Good.
Last one.
Thank you, yoga classes over Zoom,
for occasionally becoming
just 16 close-ups of butts.
♪♪
What do you think of those jokes?
That or this one?
[ Booing ]
-[ Laughing ] -Guys, we'll be right back
with more "Tonight Show." We have [ Laughing ] Miley Cyrus
on the show and we have Rachel Brosnahan.
-I didn't see this one. -And Lewis Capaldi.
Thank you, Winnie. You didn't see that one?
It's funny. Good job, Winnie.
Good job, Frannie. We'll be right back, everybody.