- [Mom] How was school today, honey?
- Well, I spent all day
barely learning anything interesting,
surrounded by people who annoy the crap out of me.
So, it was about the same
as every other day you've asked me that question.
- Oh, my gosh, Mackenzie and I, we are getting so serious.
We have been dating for a long time now,
and by a long time, I mean eight days,
and by dating, I mean talking
on Snapchat.
- Ugh, this girl Tiffany from school is so annoying.
I had to give her my phone number for a group project,
and now she won't stop texting me.
Here's her latest one.
"How is your day going?
Hugging face emoji."
Ugh, she is so clueless.
- I get along with all
the different cliques at school, okay?
The band geeks, the jocks,
the popular girls, the drama kids,
the punks, the lax bros, the science dweebs.
- Dude, we went to Jeremy's house last night
and we stole some of his dad's Miller Lite,
and I got so wasted.
I had, like, two cans.
And we got some cigs, man!
(lighter clicks) (ESTP coughs)
- Mother, I've completed my chores for the day.
May I take the car and go meet my friends
at the movie theater?
- [Mom] Okay. Have fun.
- And we're gonna sneak in candies.
- [Mom] What was that?
- Uh, nothing, Mother.
(ominous music)
- You know what I just realized?
Right in the middle of the word life is the word if.
It's like, if you can make it through life, then...
I'm not sure what it means,
I can't put it into words,
but I know it is deep,
and now I have to tell everybody about it.
- [Mom] Son, we need to talk.
We found your stash of beer under your bed.
- Oh, Mom, you don't need to worry about that. (chuckles)
I'm not drinking it.
I'm just selling it at an incredible mark-up
to my underaged peers.
- [Mom] Oh, my gosh.
- Mom, you should be proud of me.
I'm out there hustling and trying to make a living!
- The preps, the stoners, the loners, the goths,
the mean girls, the anime kids, the rugby chicks,
the misfits, the lunch ladies, the chicken wing guys,
the quiet kid who mutters under his breath
about how he's gonna get even with everybody.
- Being cool is not cool.
So what you gotta do is, you gotta see what is cool,
and then don't do that.
But then you also gotta make sure
you don't do what you know is not cool,
because that is, by definition, not cool.
So do you understand? Do you see?
Are you beginning to have your eyes open
to the fact that you have to work very hard
to make it look as though you are not working?
It is exhausting.
- I woke up at 1:00 p.m.,
stumbled down to the kitchen,
ate an entire leftover pizza,
and drank a six-pack of Coca-Cola Classics.
After such a big day,
the only thing I have energy left to do
is play 18 hours of "Minecraft."
- I'm a straight-A student, I volunteer at a soup kitchen,
and I have an internship.
I can't wait to go to college and get buried in debt
so that I can get a degree that will help me get a job
that probably won't pay enough to make it all worth it.
(static whining)
- So I'm- - Clean up your room.
- No. - Okay.
Son, do not, under any circumstances,
clean up your room.
- No.
Oh, he's figured me out.
- The Future Farmers of America, the gamers,
the chess geeks, the 75 girls named Sarah, the newsies,
the young male teachers who hang out
with the students after school
and kinda flirt with the girls
and we all think it's kinda weird.
- Hey, Mom, I hacked
into the school district's computer system,
exploiting numerous security flaws,
and now the FBI is investigating,
but other than that, school's going great.
Well, anyway, I'll talk to you later.
- Mom! Everyone is going to the party this Friday.
It is not fair that you are not letting me go!
- [Mom] Well, life isn't fair.
- Okay. Okay, look.
Uh, I'll make a deal with you, all right?
Uh, you let me go to the party on Friday,
and then when you're older, I'll put you and Dad
in a really nice senior living facility.
- No. - Okay.
But in 30 years, don't start asking me
why you're in the budget old folks' home!
- Hey, Mom, there's a big party this Friday
that everyone's going to, and I'm invited.
So could you please tell me I can't go?
Because I really don't wanna go,
but I kind of can't say that,
so I need you to take the blame.
- I don't fit in anywhere with the other kids at school.
They've all rejected me, so I'm a loner.
- [Mom] Oh, I'm so sorry.
How did they reject you?
- Uh, well, they didn't, like, reject me to my face,
but I can tell that they would
if I ever were to talk to them.
- But the clique I cannot stand,
the MBTI kids.
They are just weird.
(mellow jazzy music)
- Hey, thanks for watching.
You know, I've got more 16 Personalities videos
than you can shake a stick at on this channel.
If you wanna watch another one, click right here,
or if you wanna binge the whole playlist,
I got you covered right here.
And if one of these types in the video reminded you
of a friend or something, share this video with them.
'Til next time, stay cool and attractive.