Are you a boy or a girl? Is it he or she or they or what?
That's so in right now, to be, like, #genderfluid.
Where do you shop, in the men's or the women's section? Or unisex?
Unisex! That word needs to die.
So what's going on down there?
None of your business!
I have had this many times.
It's this fixation to know, they have to know.
Because what they see is unclear.
People don't even bother to ask me,
they sort of forcibly tell me in the street.
"You've got this genitalia!"
And they can just go along and walk past people
in the street and sort of tick off...
Vagina, penis. Vagina, penis... "Oh, I feel less anxious now."
Your genitals have nothing to do with your gender anyway.
Those two organs don't identify your whole life and they shouldn't.
That's so trendy right now, #genderfluid.
I can see this person.
I mean, look at this coat.
I'm just hip and down with the kids, you know.
We may have struggled to find the identity to understand
who and what we are, but this isn't a fad.
Non-binary is like a term that people can use,
where I don't want to identify as male or female.
Don't identify with having a gender
because I found it really restrictive.
I think the main issue just comes from the idea of people thinking
they can explain your gender back to you.
So like, I'm non-binary, they're like, "Oh, no, you're trans."
It's complex. I don't know.
Some non-binary people identify as transgender, others don't.
I don't think it's more trendy now, I think we're just...
our existence is actually being recognised.
Yeah, actually being spoken about.
It's reaching people who are going to be confused like I was,
and they're going to be upset and not know what's going on
and they see that word and hopefully it will mean something to them.
Like, you see someone and you can relate to it, you're like,
"Oh, yeah, LOL, that's me." Yeah!
LAUGHING
What toilet do YOU use?
I kind of find myself having a breakdown about that on the daily.
Whichever one I please.
The amount of times I've gone into women's bathrooms and it's like,
"This is the women's bathroom."
This woman in Macky-D's, McDonald's, like,
laughed at me, was like, "Ha-ha! Thought you were a man!"
I was literally dragged out of the club by them and was asked,
do I carry a card to identify whether I am trans
and I should be using that toilet.
I don't like to go in the male toilets at all because it's like
I will be looked at, people think I'm a pervert.
I will use male toilets unless I feel unsafe.
I know that I definitely don't feel safe in a men's bathroom.
At the end of the day, a toilet
is somewhere where you go and have a shit.
So what does it matter what gender you are?
I saw this tweet once that was like,
"You know you all have gender neutral bathrooms in your house."
MOUTHING
But were you born a man or a woman?
I mean, what is a man and what is a woman?
I'm a person.
You're assigned gender, you're assigned sex.
I wasn't born with a penis, so...
You can be a boy and you can like flowers.
They want to term all your behaviours
as either, like, a feminine or a masculine.
You can be a girl and you can like cars.
Then determine which they think you're more strong in
and put you in that box.
I already know, the comments on this video,
"There are only two genders, I identify as an attack helicopter."
That's not natural.
This isn't natural, let's be honest.
It literally is, though. Like, what?
Is marriage natural?
Like, have you ever seen two squirrels, one in a suit,
one in a white dress, with a sparrow marrying them in the forest? No!
Non-binary identity has existed since the beginning of time.
You see other societies and cultures out there
and they don't have this very strict two-box rule.
In the Torah, there are, like, over six or seven genders.
Native Americans had four genders.
I think it's India, there's a third gender.
There are so many examples in the animal kingdom,
snails are hermaphrodites.
Male seahorses give birth to their children.
Clownfish change sex halfway through their life.
Which is a Finding Nemo sequel I'd like to see.
Is it he or she?
I mean, thank you for asking.
Two options, he or she? Babes!
But there's he and she, they, their,
xe, xyr, fae as well?
It can be confusing for someone
because they don't know what you're presenting as necessarily.
From about six feet away, they presume me to be female
and then they get closer and they're like, "Oh."
I went in one shop, and they're like,
"OK, sir, we'll keep onto that, thank you, sir."
I walk into another shop ten minutes later,
and they're like, "Yes, madam." I can't fucking win!
Someone wants that... Those pronouns are useful, then, like,
that's why it's important.
Any thought that I would be assumed female is, like,
just the most uncomfortable feeling.
And also, like, people do get pronouns wrong sometimes
but it's just, like, correct yourself, and it's fine.
People are like, "But I actually really struggle changing pronouns
"cos I've known you for a really long time."
I'm like, yeah, imagine what it must be like
to actually be a non-binary person. Exactly!
Like, you're struggling with grammar, I'm struggling with life.
Do you shop in the men's or women's section?
Both is good. Both is good.
I don't understand why we're still saying this is
a female piece of clothing or this is a male piece of clothing.
You have this whole store of all these wonderful things
that you could open your mind to.
Sometimes I'll wear a crop top.
Some days I would play with Barbies and wear a fairy dress.
And sometimes I'll wear a suit.
Other days I'd be in a Thunderbirds costume.
But I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for me,
this is my sort of armour and my portrayal of how I feel inside.
I remember for my 12th birthday, I got Hulk Boxer shorts off my mam.
That's beautiful. I was a happy little queer.
Are you gay? Yes.
Hell, yeah. Absolutely!
As soon as they see somebody who's slightly more feminine-portraying,
it's instantly, "You're gay."
Sexuality, gender, completely different.
It's not a thing where your identity and outward portraying image
is connected to your sexuality. Or anything like that.
You define the labels, the labels don't define you.
So you can bring your own definition to...
I want a tattoo of that on my forehead or something.
I'm going to get it on a fucking T-shirt.
BOTH: But I don't get it.
Then learn!
That's OK. It's really OK to not understand.
Ain't hurting anyone.
You know, despite the fact that everybody's experience is different,
it's just so refreshing to see,
meet somebody else whose pronouns are also they and their.
I think actually having a label is really, really important. Yeah.
Creates a lot of solidarity, too.
Just a nice warm, fuzzy feeling, ain't it?
I love queer people. I love the queers.