(8-bit music and beeps)
- [Narrator] How To Be a 90s Gamer.
Follow these steps and you too, can be like us.
Step one, get a console.
- Whoa, Sega Genesis?
- Nintendo 64.
- We knew how much you wanted
a certain handheld gaming system.
(boy gasps)
- Electronic mini golf?
- [Mario] Okey doke.
- [Narrator] Accessorize, super scope, laser scope,
convenient carrying case, Game Boy printer.
(mechanical whirring)
And the radically unsuccessful power glove.
Learn how to fix any problem.
(puck clicks) (dramatic orchestral music)
- What happened?
- I don't know.
- Press the reset button.
- It's not working.
- Check the cords.
- Uh.
- Blow in the cartridge.
(blowing air)
("Get Ready For This" by 2 Unlimited)
(both sigh)
- [Narrator] Have a sick gaming sleepover.
- I brought my N64, all my games, two guidebooks
and a Duo-Tang full of cheat codes.
- Cool, but why couldn't we just use my TV?
- You're TV's way too small.
If we're gonna pull an all-nighter,
we can't be straining our eyes.
(plastic bang)
(grooving 90s music)
- [Narrator] Negotiate deals.
- Word on the playground is you got a GameShark
for your birthday.
- Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.
- I could offer you a water gun, two finger blades
and a pack of Dunkaroos if you can get me a Mew.
- Chocolate or vanilla frosting?
- Vanilla.
- Deal.
- [Narrator] Overcome water level anxiety.
- You're running out of air.
(increasing 8-bit beats)
Dude, you're gonna die.
Better hurry. (laughs)
What the heck are you doing, man?
You're so screwed, you're gonna die.
Told you. (bubbling bursts)
- [Narrator] Argue over the best console.
- Hey can you come over this weekend and help me
with the water temple?
I've been stuck in it for two weeks.
- (sighs) Fine.
- Are you guys talking about Zelda?
N64's for babies.
- No, it's not.
- Yeah it is, you can't even play Sonic.
- Sonic sucks.
- What?
♫ Socker Boppers Socker Boppers
♫ You can sock
(knocking taps)
- [Narrator] Rent games from the video store.
- Hello ma'am, one rental of Duke Nukem please.
- You know that's rated M, right?
- Oh, uh yeah.
- And do you have an adult with you?
- Um, actually, I do have adult with me.
His name is John A. McDonald.
(blowing air)
(quiet popping)
- I won't tell if you don't.
- [Narrator] P1 gets the good controller.
- Okay, so I'll use this one and you got a couple choices
here, we've got this one that's got a button missing.
It's a little broken, might not want to use that one.
This one which had a little bit of root beer spilled on it
or the one with the Cheeto dust?
- Uh, I'll take the Cheeto dust.
- [Narrator] Friday nights are for partying.
- [Both] Hello, Mrs. Hamilton.
- We're here for the party.
- What party?
- It's a lan party.
(crickets singing)
Can we just come in, this monitor is really heavy.
- [Narrator] Run up your parent's electricity bill.
- Guys, I'm getting zergling rushed over here.
- No problem, sending marines.
- Man, zerg's so cheap.
- Speak for yourself, Protoss.
(gladiator roars)
(buzzing electric)
(all scream)
We must have blown a fuse.
- [Son] Oh god, my Mountain Dew.
- [Mom] Are you boys okay?
- [Son] Get out of here, Mom, you're embarrassing me.
- [Narrator] Stay up past your bedtime.
(soft footsteps)
- Now for a few rounds of Command and Conquer.
(computer clicks)
(loud internet screeching)
- Mike, you should be in bed.
- Mom, but I'm just, I wasn't doing, oh mom.
- No buts, straight to bed, it's so late.
- [Narrator] Discover girls.
- Guys, do you want to see the hottest girl ever.
(8-bit ascending beeps)
- Does Articuno have a catch rate of three?
- Look, mm.
- Whoa, she's so hot.
Dude, how did you rent this?
- (laughs) My mom left her purse open.
- [Boy] Do you think her boobs are real or fake?
- [Narrator] And finally, win at all costs.
- Ugh, I hate tug of war.
- It's tug o'war not tug of war.
- What does the O stand for?
- Of, duh.
(bongos drumming)
- [Video Game] Start.
(plastic crunching)
(boys moan and scream)
- And that's how I got this scar.
- [All] Ew.
- Sounds like the 90s sucked, grandpa.
All those games sounded so boring and you didn't even
have wifi, sounds to me like you're living in the dark ages.
♫ Socker Boppers Socker Boppers
♫ You can sock all day
- [Narrator] What did we miss?
Leave a comment in the comment section below.
(grooving saxophone)