Lizzie: Do you ever get that blindsided feeling?
You know, when you go to a fancy dinner as prepared as you can be
and then get figuratively smacked by a semi truck?
And it's not that Catherine de Bourgh didn't like me.
Although, to be fair, I'm really not sure if she did like me.
But let me jump straight ahead to the blindsided semi truck part of the evening.
Any guesses?
Anyone?
My name is Lizzie Bennet, and Catherine de Bourgh’s nephew is...
William Darcy!
What the f--
"Anniekins" Written by Rachel Kiley
So clearly Darcy will not get out of my life.
Is he connected to everyone I know?
First Jane, and then George, and
and then now Charlotte!
If Lydia ends up in any way involved with someone who traces back to Darcy,
I swear I’m going to
steal a plane and crash land on a desert island.
I can totally survive on coconut and crabs.
Assuming there's wifi.
But enough of that.
Back to dinner with de Bourgh.
And though dinner was tasty, the experience was…
Liz.
Can I call you Liz? I’m going to call you Liz.
Collins over here has told me so much about you.
‘Course, that was before you turned down a rather
generous offer to come work for me.
Though I admire your desire to finish your education, I understand your family is quite poor.
I hope you’re not jealous of people with money.
We do work so much harder than you.
You know, ruffles on a woman's clothing is considered a sign of infertility in some cultures.
One of my charities would be an excellent home for that top.
Life must be pretty good if you’re willing to turn down a real job with career growth potential.
I prefer getting out there in the world and getting my
hands dirty,
but that wouldn’t concern someone like you,
sitting at home with your little computer
and your camera, now, hmmm?
Next she went through every possible life skill to quiz me on whether or not I was capable of it.
Cooking. Painting. Fencing. US History.
At least I used to play tennis.
Then she asked me if Jane and Lydia are better prepared for life than I am.
What does that mean?
I guess she just wants the best possible company for her new superstar employee, right?
And speaking of superstar employee…
Charlotte: What's going on?
Lizzie: Okay, I'm trying to be more with the nice and less with the snark, but
I’ve got to ask.
What is up with Catherine’s dog?
Charlotte: They kind of go hand-in-hand.
Lizzie: Well that, I get.
But the dog itself,
kind of creepy, right?
Charlotte: Um, a little strange.
Lizzie: And you have to admit it was unnerving how she kept telling it how perfect it was.
Like...
Oh, Anniekins!
You’re just the best most beautiful poochie in the whole world, yes you are.
Like, if dogs could have egos…
I guess that makes that hairless snaggletooth
the perfect match for Darcy.
The dog, not Catherine.
And speaking of Darcy, and weird,
why didn't you tell me they were related?
Charlotte: I was as blindsided by that as you were!
Lizzie: And how about how she brought up Caroline every time she mentioned Darcy?
Charlotte: Those two are thick as thieves.
Lizzie: Yeah, but she kept comparing their personal and professional accomplishments.
It's like she's a chart.
Charlotte: She's definitely a member of Team Caroline.
Lizzie: You know, I’ve barely heard from Caroline since she left.
And neither has Jane.
I thought we were friends, but
I guess we're not.
She could never compare to you anyway.
Mr. Collins [offscreen]: Oh! Ms. Lu!
The editors for Better Living with Collins and Collins would like to speak with you!
Charlotte: Be right back.
Uh…play nice.
Lizzie: I always do.
Mr. Collins: Hello again Miss Bennet!
I hope you found dinner last night as thoroughly delightful as I did.
Oh, I’m sure you must have.
Ms. de Bourgh is quite an impressive woman.
Lizzie: Impressive. Yes. She is.
Mr. Collins: Oh. Do you need any help with any reenactments for your video?
Lizzie: Uh, no. That…that's okay.
Thank you for asking, though.
Mr. Collins: Of course.
I’ll leave you to your work, then.
Lizzie: Uh, Ricky?
um, Mr. Collins…
Thank you for inviting me to dinner with Ms. de Bourgh.
I know how important she is to you and Charlotte and
I appreciate you including me in that.
Mr. Collins: Oh. My pleasure, Miss Bennet.
As I've said previously,
as you are my business partner’s closest and dearest friend,
you are forever welcome here.
My work is my life, so
you are both part of that now.
Good day, Miss Bennet.
Lizzie: Good day, Mr. Collins.
I guess that wasn't so difficult.
Being nice, right?
Be nice.
Ignore the rest.
Charlotte: Hey sorry about that, I had to put out some fires. Um…
But I think I’m done for the rest of the day,
what else do you want to talk about?
Lizzie: Uh…no.
You know what? Let's wrap this up
otherwise I’m just going to end up talking about Darcy and de Bourgh
and contrary to popular belief,
they do not consume my life.
Charlotte: Well, they do, kind of.
Lizzie: No!
No more talking.
Let’s go do something!
Charlotte: Oh! Okay. What would you like to do?
Lizzie: I don’t know…
I don’t care. Anything. You choose.
Charlotte: There is this documentary playing at the theater down the street,
it's about women who abandoned their families to ride the rails in the great depression era.
I know that's not really your thing...
Lizzie: Well, according to some people I do need a greater knowledge of U.S. history.
Maybe afterwards we can go fencing.
Transcribed by Alyson Lee, Edited by Taylor Brogan