7 techniques, to hold a conversation, and keep the attention on you.
you can use these techniques, in your professional or personal life.
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No.1, Perfect your timing.
Timing is key to starting a great conversation.
No one likes to be interrupted if they are busy or preoccupied.
When you are trying to start a conversation, keep in mind that timing is key.
No.2, Start with a topic before introducing yourself.
Instead of walking up to someone, and just telling them who you are, lead with a topic.
You have to start with a conversation before you can hold it.
Otherwise, that person might look at you, and question why you’re trying to talk to
them in the first place.
Just starting with your name isn’t valuable to them.
You have to start with something that’ll engage them right off the bat.
No.3, Choose topics you know the other person cares about.
You can keep your conversation rolling, by sticking to topics you know the other person
likes.
If they don’t really think it’s worth a discussion, they’ll get bored and eventually
not want to talk.
Before meeting up with someone, think of three predetermined topics, you can fall back on
if conversation lags.
Remind yourself of any recent trips, work events, or relationships your friend has told
you about.
No.4, Ask open-ended questions.
The more you get them talking, the more they’ll feel engaged in the conversation.
That’ll make it a lot easier for you to keep it going, and to actually have a deep
discussion.
Ask open ended questions like.
Do you like sports?.
Where do or did you go to college?, What is or was your major?.
How do you like to spend your weekends?.
Do you enjoy reading?.
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No.5, Ask good questions that show you’re engaged.
One of the best ways to show engagement, is by expressing a natural curiosity for what
the other person is telling you.
Make it a point to ask at least one question, before moving on to the next topic.
Gathering details makes it more likely that you’ll be able to establish a connection
with the other person, or find a way you can lend a hand.
No.6, Stories from Everywhere.
Everyone knows that stories juice-up conversations, but most people only talk about stories their
own lives.
You don’t have to draw from your own experience when speaking with someone, you can use stories
from anywhere, from stories that happened to people you know, to those you came across
via the radio,TV, magazines, etc, When someone mentions something related to any of them,
just tell the story, even if it’s not from your life.
It can be any silly story, short or long, interesting, or totally awkward, just use
it, People love talking to people who can just share stuff openly like that.
No.7, Ending a conversation the right way.
No matter how the conversation goes, end the conversation warmly.
Even if you couldn’t get someone attention on you, you at least have a new acquaintance
or a friend.
Perhaps, if you ever do bump into this person somewhere else, you can still say hello, and
start all over again.
But if it all works out, and the person you’re talking to has fun talking to you, make sure
you find a way to keep in touch, or plan something more personal or professional in the future.
These techniques should get you started, but if you want to take it to an advanced level,
to the point where you can just have fun when talking to anyone, meet the right people you
want in your life, and be able to make friends with them fast, then I recommend you read
this book.
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summary.
1 Perfect your timing.
2 Start with a topic before introducing yourself.
3 Choose topics you know the other person cares about.
4 Ask open-ended questions.
5 Ask good questions that show you’re engaged.
6 Stories from Everywhere.
7 Ending a conversation the right way.
7 Ways to make new friends and starting a conversation with Strangers
No.1, Say the magic word “Hi.”
It sounds so obvious, but it’s the first big barrier.
You have to be willing to put yourself out there to start a conversation.
I noticed that people are welcoming after you break the ice.
It’s not something that everyone wants to do, because it takes some courage to go up
to someone you’ve never met before, and start a conversation.
However, more people are welcoming than we generally expect.
When you encounter someone who isn’t, remember that someone else will be.
No.2, Go out and smile!
Smiling gives a good first impression.
Practice in the mirror.
Then smile to the world.
I noticed that people relaxed themselves when I smiled first.
When I continued smiling throughout the conversation, they smiled back, and really opened themselves
up to deeper conversation.
No.3, Ask them a question.
Asking someone a question is another option.
But if you really want to have a chance at sparking an actual conversation, it’s best
to avoid questions about the current time or weather.
Come up with thoughtful, open-ended questions, ones that you actually care about learning
the answers to.
Ask for a specific restaurant recommendation, a new workout class, or the best nearby cafe
to work from.
If it’s someone you know a little bit, ask for feedback on something you’ve written
or created.
These kinds of questions show that you have an interest in the other person’s opinion,
which suggests that you trust them.
They also give a glimpse into your own personality and make follow-up conversations, like chatting
about how that exercise class went, or even suggesting that you go to one together.
No.4, Offer help One of the main things that separates good
friends from casual acquaintances, is the ongoing emotional, practical, and social support.
That’s why letting someone know that you’re there if they need help, (e.g., solving a
problem with a school, or work assignment, or even with some heavy lifting), is a great
away to approach them and subtly let them know that you’re interested in being friends.
This can work out, especially well if you’re able to work together toward a common goal,
(e.g., like train together for an upcoming race).
Sometimes, offering tangible support, or having a concrete goal in mind can make it easier
to approach someone in the hopes of becoming better friends.
No.5, Pay them a compliment.
Compliments from strangers, or people we don’t know that well can be so powerful.
They are often unexpected and deeply appreciated.
That’s why it can be such an impactful way to approach someone we want to be better friends
with.
It might feel easier to compliment the things that are obvious, like physical appearance
or style, but if you feel up to it, make it something a little more personal.
Compliment their work ethic, creativity, insightful comment, compassion, or great laugh.
Explain what you love about it, and why it moves you.
These kinds of genuine, perceptive compliments are the ones that stick with us.
And moving beyond the superficial can make people feel seen, and heard in ways that really
foster connection and friendship.
When it comes to compliments, it’s best to avoid going overboard.
Usually, the more you give, the more insincere they can start to feel.
And ideally, most of us want friendships that are based on balance and equality, not adulation.
No.6, Imagine that the other person is already your friend.
This way you’ll treat them that way instead of seeming awkward—and being comfortable
around someone, is the best way to start a new friendship.
Take a chance today and talk to someone new.
When you’re friendly to someone, they’ll most often be friendly back.
No.7, Practice.
Don’t worry if you seem a little awkward, or aggressive at first.
If your intentions are authentic, you will come across that way more and more each time
you try.
It’s just like any other skill, where it gets easier with practice.
A few of my first conversations with strangers felt scary and awkward, but they didn’t
do any harm.
It made me learn what I needed to work on.