Today I'm going deep into the dark section of my comments to introduce you to my haters.
And yeah, I'm recording this video in my onesie. It's the best thing ever.
Check it.
I have a lot of material for this video. This is just a small selection, and it could easily turn into a multi-part series.
There's a whole world out there. A whole world of hateful comments. And I'm diving in for you.
Let's read some haters.
Okay, so you've probably noticed that most of the comments on my videos are in Spanish. However,
I'm doing this video in English because it's more comfortable and quicker for me,
I will try to translate and be faithful to the original text.
Including the spelling and grammar errors because those really... they just add a dimension to the comment,
and I don't want you to miss that if you don't speak Spanish.
Let's get into it.
You look so bad. Exclamation point exlamation point emoji emoji.
Okay, well, I may look bad, but at least I'm not the type of person to go to someone's YouTube comments
and insult them based on their physical appearance.
Oh man. This is a long one.
Okay, okay. This is a good representation of a certain type of comment brought to you by Google Translate.
I've gotta take a deep breath for this.
Well I think we all clearly understood what that meant.
I don't really think we need to say anything else about that.
Okay, this is interesting. I knew there was a low key, and a high key,
but the existence of this middle key... this mid key, I did not know that such a thing exists.
So I have to say at least I'm not high key ugly, right? Mid key ugly is better than being high key ugly, for sure.
And I mean, at least they liked the cover and it's on their playlist now, so...
Not bad.
What a silly question, they're right where they always have been! Right--
Oh my god, you're right! They're gone!
No, but really.
I mean, is... is he saying that I should die because I'm not showing my tits?
Or because I don't have very big tits? Because I think you can have a perfectly fulfilling life without them.
I mean, I have to assume that this guy is a heterosexual male, so he's probably living his life without tits.
I mean, it could still be perfectly fulfilling and worth living.
I mean, he's not going to YouTube comments and calling people the n-word and insulting them for not showing their boobs!
Oh... wait.
Yeah, maybe he doesn't have a very fulfilling life.
But I mean, would he wish someone to die just because they didn't have tits?
But I mean he doesn't have tits either, so does he also wanna--
Oh.
This guy is suicidal. He must be very troubled.
Look, I'm here to tell you that a life without tits can be a great life.
And if you are despairing, please don't hesitate to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or call a hotline.
Don't hurt yourself. Don't kill yourself.
Especially not because you don't have tits.
Or worse, because you're not seeing them on YouTube.
I would tell him to go find some in real life, but, I mean, just based on this comment,
and the type of person that I think he is, I'm gonna guess he probably doesn't have very much luck.
I would be a good boyfriend with you. Heart.
Heart.
And then later: unfollowing because you're not responding. Bye. It's been a pleasure.
No! My soulmate!
How... how could I just let him slip away?
But no! You know what?
My true soulmate would not stop following me just because I don't respond to them. Okay?
They would keep sending me hearts until I finally cave and respond
and see that yes, they would be a good boyfriend! Maybe a little bit obsessed and kind of stalkerish, but...
You know.
Alright, you know what? Just thinking about the possibilities of what I might have missed here is, is, is breaking my heart.
Let's move on.
Alright, here's another one that smells a little bit like Google Translate.
And, man.
Spanish tends to have really long sentences, and I think I'm seeing that here.
There's a lot of words and relatively little punctuation.
"hello point number one I did not know you from all of this you're a fake an anthrax"
Anthrax?
I...
Well... Anne is the first part of the word anthrax, that is true.
But no, I am not actually anthrax.
"a fool those fake tears do not help you at all I believe that you're just angry because he has a good life just because he has a beautiful girlfriend beautiful good graceful wave"
Like a... an ocean wave? Or a...
wave in your hair? Or like a...?
"and a beautiful life to get your ass." What?
Nobody's getting my ass. I...
Okay, I mean, a lot of times when a Spanish speaker makes a common mistake in translation I can normally tell what they mean.
This I honestly have no idea what she means.
"you ruined many things in your life you and all your ex girlfriends"
What? I don't have ex-girlfriends, actually.
"mad and you are one of them"
Wait, what?
"all your ex girlfriends mad and you are..." I'm one of my own ex-girlfriends?
No, no, no, no.
Or am I?
"ruin a part of the life of Dallas"
Oh, the life of the city in Texas?
"are attacking him and his family because they do not think that his sister resive threats is an 11 year old girl"
According to your fucking explanation of how abusers act, I'm an abuser.
The problem is that she's never looked at any criminal psychology in her fucking life.
Her explanation of how abusers act is a piece of shit like a piano.
A... okay. A piece of shit like a piano. I... I...
Maybe my Spanish is not as good as I thought it was, because what?
Is that like a... common thing to compare it to?
And if you're realizing that you're an abuser because of this, you might actually be an abuser.
You know, there is a special kind of asshole that comes to a video only to dislike it.
But there is an even more rare, special kind of asshole who comes to the video to dislike,
and also tell you that they have done so.
And that is what we have here.
"I only came to give a dislike, you fucking fame-seeking slut."
And a little... I think that's supposed to be a middle finger.
"P.S. You sing like shit. I..."
It's spelled wrong, I'm trying to, like, capture that with my voice.
"I could do it better than your buttcheeks" In parenthesies, "mouth."
Wait, so... are they... what?
I think they're trying to call my mouth a butthole.
Or like, call my lips buttcheeks? Or something.
Oh, I think it's... yeah, because like, my voice sounds like shit, so like, what's coming out of my mouth is shit,
so then like, my mouth is a butt. Or something.
"Fucking plank"
Fucking board? Like a plank?
Wait... is this a no tits thing again? Is this saying I'm flat?
Is "tabla" an insult? Like calling someone a plank?
Ooh, this one is chock full. Let's see.
"Die, son of a bitch. In this order:"
I hope you get raped, that they mutilate you, that they skin you, that they burn you and you live,
and before you die that they put powerful acids on you, that way there will be no trace of a bitch like you. You disgusting piece of shit."
You know, I like that they tell me the order. Because there are so many people telling me go fuck yourself, kill yourself,
stop singing, shut up, but this one puts it right there for me. The order in which they want me to do things. I can appreciate that.
"Slut, whore, bitch, a different word for bitch, fuck you little whore"
"You're a shitty slut, may the coyote catch you slut"
But I think it's supposed to be "que te coja" and it says "gue"
So I guess it would be like "myeh the coyote catch you, slut."
"Zorra," which is like slut, is also a female fox.
So it's like the coyote and the fox, one is chasing the other.
They're the coyote, I'm the fox. I'm gonna escape, they're gonna starve to death.
Here's something from my Instagram. The first one says a phone number, and then it says,
"Her phone number. Go fuck her over because she's a liar and she's trying to fuck over her ex."
Okay, that's a Spanish phone number though. Also it's not my phone number.
I don't know whose number is. Whoever it is, I'm sorry.
And then the comments right below it, "escalera" means stairs. As far as I know.
And see, I'm a little confused here. Because like, earlier someone was calling me "tabla," a plank, and now they're calling me stairs, and those are like...
One is flat, one is not flat. Obviously I'm not as fluent as I thought I was, because I do not get this. Not at all.
"You sing very well for being a pedofile, misogynist, and killer of women."
Oh, I see what's happening here. I'm sorry, no, I think you have the wrong channel, actually.
Yeah, yeah. The pedofile and misogynist, that's my ex.
Ah, here's a nice DM from Instagram.
Uh, first he describes the things that he would like to do to me every day without stopping.
A few days later, he says "marry me."
That seems like a logical progression to me. I don't know why I'm not married yet.
And then a few days later, "whore I want your ass"
"Answer whore, don't act too famous for me"
Yeah, the reason I didn't answer you is probably because I think I'm too famous for you.
Not because I'm disgusted by what you said to me and your attitude.
This one says, "You're sick."
(coughing)
You're right.
Sick of your shit.
I think that's all I can handle for now, but trust me, there is a lot more.
Let me know if you liked it in the comments. Or if you just came here to give it a dislike, give it a dislike.
And if you're one of those special assholes, go ahead and tell me what you did in the comments too.
I'll see you soon.