- I'm paining my twitching eyeball,
and it's a weird sensation.
Aaah, I just got my eye a little bit.
(funky music)
- I know nothing about eyeliner,
and just the idea of it terrifies me.
- Maybe girls wear it to hide their eye boogers?
- I think girls wear eyeliner just because it kind of
makes your eyes pop.
- What if I just open my eyes wider?
- Is now a bad time to tell you I have a phobia
of being stabbed in the eye?
- Yeah, this looks pretty classic.
This is what I am used to seeing on women.
- I'm supposed to do this?
- (bleep)
- Not going to be much classic look
after I'm done with this.
- How do I approach this part?
Do I close the eye, or do I open it?
- Oh God. My hand is shaking.
- Oh (bleep)
- Can you see this? I'm literally crying right now.
(laughing)
- Is it supposed to connect with my eyebrow?
- I'm going to look like a raccoon after this.
- Oh man, this is not going good.
- Golly, this is (bleep) terrifying, man.
Why do they have to make it look like a (bleep) needle?
- Handlebar eyeliner. Yeah!
Like I'm, aah! Like I'm dangerous.
Oh man, it's like sticking.
- Yep. That's it.
- Oh (bleep), I look pretty as (bleep) though!
- Damn.
- I don't know how you do this ladies.
I can't-- I'm not even to the hard one.
I'm on the classic one, and I am balling.
- Oh, is there an under, too?
Balking-- ok, right here.
- Next one. Fishy tail?
Even if I did this correctly, this picture is stupid.
- Who wants parentheses next to their eyeball?
- This one's like, sexy. This is the club look.
This one is like, you're going out,
you're trying to get some dick.
And I like dick too, so hopefully this helps.
- I can't see.
- I used to watch my mom put on her eyeliner
in the mirror and I never thought I would have
to do that same activity.
- Oh no. I didn't connect them somehow.
- Why am I having so much trouble with this?
- How do you guys do this so easily?
- It's all about relaxation.
If you get panicked, you're going to (bleep) your line up.
(laughing)
- This is my eyeball's way of saying,
please don't do this anymore.
- My girlfriend does this in the car in the mirror
while I was bumping around in traffic.
I can't believe she does this. This is amazing.
- Then I add the little fish tail down there,
and then it turns into blue tears.
- Boom. That's my fish tail.
- This looks terrible.
I think I'm done.
Like, I don't think I can improve this.
(laughing)
- I don't like that one as much,
and it's probably because I just did a shitty job.
I don't feel pretty anymore.
- Didn't go to well. Let's put it that way.
- I look like I got punched in the face, is what happened.
- It looks so good on the paper.
- It does make you look sexier, though, I will say.
Just like even the way this looks a hot ass mess,
I feel a little bit more like, jazzy.
(bell ringing)
(funky music)