- Hey there, you wanna know what happens
when the narcissist realize
that life pretty much sucks without you.
I'm breaking it all down in this video,
coming up.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am an attorney and I am an author,
and I am a Narcissist Negotiation Expert
and I teach you how to manage, deal with
and most importantly, negotiate with narcissists
in business or family law matters,
or whatever it is that you're dealing with them with,
and so if that's you
and you want actual guidance that works,
then make sure you subscribe to this channel
and hit that notification bell.
All right. So let's talk about what happens
when the narcissist realizes that life sucks without you.
It's kind of a funny thing
because I've dealt with narcissists
in my life unfortunately,
which is why I have such a huge mission for this.
I've dealt with them in my law practice,
but I also dealt with them in my personal life.
And so that's why I know
and I understand the drama, trauma and chaos they cause,
and here's the really the narcissist paradox,
that is that they treat you like crap.
Like the whole time,
they're doing all kinds of horrible things to you,
very abusive, mind games,
passive aggressive, actually aggressive the whole time.
And then you are finally like running away from them
and try to get the hell out of there
just to like save your sanity and preserve your soul.
And then they turn around and they go,
"Oh, why did they leave?
Oh, I can't actually live without them.
I need them back."
And so what happens when they realize
that life sucks without you?
Well, first of all, I'm gonna tell you all of this,
but I want you to know that you don't go back there.
I mean, if you've successfully gotten the key,
the golden ticket and you're out of there
and they're leaving you alone,
thank Jesus and never look back.
That's where everybody wants to get to, honestly.
I mean, you don't want them back in your space.
They haven't changed no matter what it is that they say,
they haven't changed.
So don't go running back to them.
All right. So let me just say that at the beginning,
like they haven't changed.
They're not going to.
Regardless of what they say or do,
just leave it alone.
Okay. But now what's happened?
You're gone.
You're not coming back.
They realize you're not looking back.
You have wiped them from the CPU of your life,
which is what I tell you to do all the time.
And now,
you've actually taken away their source of oxygen.
You've taken away their source of food
and that's what we call narcissistic supply.
They need an endless amount of supply
in order to feel validated, to feel alive.
And if they're not gonna get it from you
in the form of adulation or you doing slaving away,
doing things for them and making them look good, prestige,
some form of value that way,
then they're gonna get it from you from devaluing you,
debasing you, treating you poorly.
They literally do get off on that.
And so,
when they realize that you're not coming back
and that source of supply isn't there anymore,
they're gonna go through these stages.
They're gonna go it's almost like stages of grief,
denial, anger, bargaining
and then maybe acceptance,
but probably never really fully accepting.
I heard it described one time
that they want to keep all of their sources of supply,
almost like people save up jam or something for the winter,
like people who
have jams and jellies and things,
or sauces or whatever for the winter,
that's what they do.
Like they have a source of supply over here,
but they also want the source of supply over there
and they want it from over here.
They really are supply (indistinct),
so they're hoping that you'll still be a source
of supply for them,
if not to bolster up their ego,
at least to bang you around
and manipulate you and cause you drama, trauma and chaos,
at least to do that.
I mean, here's the thing.
They completely took you for granted while you were around.
They treated you poorly.
They thought it was funny
when they got away with doing things with you,
and yet they somehow thought that you'd always be around.
They somehow thought that you
keep allowing that to happen.
I just think they don't think it through.
They don't think forward and think,
"Well, this person might actually not wanna stick around
if I treat them badly."
Because there's another little paradox that's going on here,
which is that they have this massive fear of abandonment.
They don't want to be abandoned.
They don't want you to actually leave.
And they do happen to collapse sometimes,
which I definitely check out my video on that,
what happens when a narcissist collapses.
It ain't pretty,
but so they have this fear of abandonment,
but okay.
So once you leave,
at first they're going to line up their flying monkeys.
They're gonna try to get everybody to triangulate
'cause they're still getting supply from all of this, right?
So let me show you how I can make you miserable.
Let me show you how I can do all of these things to you,
and make a line of people against you
and make you jealous and all that.
So they're gonna start with that.
And then the next thing they're gonna go into
is try to retaliate against you.
Their rage is gonna come out
and so they might try to blow up your phone
and text you 5,000 times
and flood you with messages or stalk you.
And they may desperately try to get you back
through love bombing or hoovering.
Like I said,
they wanna keep all forms of supply.
And so they're gonna try to figure out a way
to get you back into that web.
So they might even file lawsuits to get your attention
or to try to scare you.
"You're not gonna walk away from me so easily."
And you definitely wanna check out my video
on "What Happens When you go Silent on a Narcissist"
by the way.
But then they realize eventually you're not coming back.
That's when they're gonna struggle.
They're not gonna have remorse for you
and the things that they did for you, to you,
but for themselves.
Because at that point, they're gonna realize
they loved that support that you gave them.
They needed that.
They needed your emotional support.
They needed you to do the work for them
or make them look good,
or your whatever contributions you were giving them,
whether it's your money or your sex or your ideas
or your prestige or whatever it was
that the reason why they attach themselves to you
in the first place, they're gonna realize that it's gone.
And they're gonna be upset about that,
but not because they miss you.
It's because they're gonna miss
what you were doing for them.
Remember, I always say,
they didn't attach themselves to you
because you have so little value
even though that's how they treated you.
They'd attach themselves because you have so much value.
So then what they're gonna start doing
is they're just gonna start like continuing to watch you.
They will always be watching you.
They'll always be stocking your social media
or trying to see what it is that you're up to.
It's just so creepy.
By the way, if you think they're so creepy,
give me a "so creepy" down in the comments.
They're always watching you.
I do have a video on that, by the way,
like "Why the Narcissist is Always Watching You"
'cause they're so creepy like that.
And they may be grudgingly, by the way, move on.
They're going to try to find another source of supply.
They have to like slither on down the road
and find another source of supply
'cause that's what they feed on.
Otherwise they don't feel alive.
So they will go try to find another source of supply,
but they're gonna miss the supply
they were getting from you,
especially if it was really good.
So they'll keep watching.
They'll keep comparing.
They'll look to see
if you have something new or something better.
They love to compare.
Narcissists are big on comparing.
And if you do have something better or bigger or whatever,
it's totally gonna kill them.
They'll be super jealous.
They will hate that and there'll be stewing,
but you, you will no longer care, right?
Because it doesn't matter.
Because as long as you care what they think,
or what they say, or what they do
and you're gonna be completely tied to them still
and vibrationally they're gonna feel that.
So wipe them from the CPU of your life.
You no longer care, you've moved on.
Just keep walking and do not look back.
And if you are getting ready to negotiate
with a narcissist or with anyone,
grab my free crush my negotiation prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
Join me in my free private Facebook group
Narcissists Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
Lots and lots of us in there helping each other
and supporting each other.
So join me there as well.
If you like this video, give me a like,
give it a share.
Drop me that comment.
Tell me if you think they're so creepy
or what other things that you've seen.
And if you haven't subscribed to my channel
now is a good time to do that.
Subscribe and hit that notification bell.
And remember that today is a great day
to start negotiating your best life.
I will see you in the next video.