Nanalan as possibly the best Canadian TV show marketed towards preschoolers
with a runtime of under three minutes of all time.
I mean, come on, just listen to this theme song.
["La la la!" looping endlessly over discordant percussion]
["Nana!"]
["Ooh, big hugs."]
[dog barking]
[dissonant music continues, character makes excited noises]
[heavenly choir sings "Nanalan!"]
[laughter]
Nanalan was on in a point in my childhood where I had a pretty short attention span.
Despite its short run time, I was always like
"What the fuck, get back to my Pokemon!"
[Brock] Hey, I know! I'll use my trusty frying pan...
... as a drying pan!
[YMS] It was a show that existed to fill up time in between shows.
Although I'm not sure why they didn't just throw in some more
Concerned Children's Advertisers PSAs.
Anybody remember those?
Oh wait, they were only in Canada right?
You know what, before we get into Nanalan,
I really wanna talk about these for a second.
One of them had a talking TV that was really cool and friendly,
and then he starts over-glorifying TV like it's the best thing ever.
[TV] You get to choose from all kinds of neat stuff!
Funny shows! Nature shows! Shows about people all over the world!
[YMS] And by the end of it he's like
"Oh by the way you can also go outside if you wanted to."
[TV] You've got books and sports, and you can go outside and play!
[YMS] Like apparently the whole point of it with to ensure that children didn't
spend too much time in front of the TV,
but it wound up having the exact opposite effect
because they didn't understand how children's minds worked.
When I was a kid I watched this shit and was like "Yeah TV IS the best!"
And then there's one that just fucked with me for so long.
[Narrator] The North American house hippo is found throughout Canada
and the Eastern United States.
The favorite foods of the house hippo are chips, raisins,
and the crumbs from peanut butter on toast.
[YMS] When I was a kid I remember watching this shit and being like
"Oh I hope I see a house hippo someday!" And wouldn't you know it,
at the very end of it they finally make their point without actually explaining it
in a way that a child would understand.
[Narrator 2] That looked really... real. But you know it couldn't be true, didn't you?
That's why it's good to think about what you're watching on TV, and ask questions.
Kind of like you just did.
[YMS] Congratulations, you spread misinformation into the minds
of every single Canadian child.
I probably could've titled this video "Thoughts
on nineties Canadian children's programming"
but that didn't sound as good.
Fuck it. Back to Nanalan. So here's the deal, you got a little girl,
she's three years old and she's always got a stupid-ass look on her face.
Like every single episode she's just in her backyard looking at shit and everything
she comes across as the most magical thing in the world. Which makes enough sense,
I mean she's three years old, but holy shit is it ever entertaining for immature, crazy
people like me.
Watching it as a kid, I was like "Ehhhh" but the show seriously get so much better once
you're an adult, and also an alcoholic.
Alright so most of you probably think I've completely lost my mind at this point,
and that may be true, but just let it be known that their proper ways and
improper ways to watch this show.
Step one: find some friends. If you don't have any friends right now there are a
few ways to solve this issue.
Why not just join a group that doesn't turn away anyone?
Maybe you could stop being such a fucking bully!
Step two: Get absolutely shitfaced. Now that you've acquired your friends
and/or imaginary friends, it's time to get absolutely trashed!
Please drink responsibly.
Alternatively, you can just sneak into a frat party and pretend like you're one of them.
Step 3: Recognize the implications.
Now this show would have you believe that it's just about a three-year-old girl
discovering the world in her backyard,
but that's not as fun so let's over interpret it!
[X-Files theme plays]
Alright, so Mona has a dog, and anybody watching the show might think
that the dog's name is Russer.
[Mona, whispered] Russer. [dog barks]
Russer!
Russer...
[distantly] Russer...
Russer...
Russer.
Russer...!
[incomprehensible, repeated "Russer" over dog barking]
Russer!
Russer!!
Russer!!!
[softly] Russer...?
Russer.
Russer!
Russer...!
Russer...
Russer.
Russer!
Russerrrrr!!
[whimpered] Russer...?
Russer...?
Russer...
Russer!
Russer?
Russer!
Russer!!
Russer.
Russer!
Russer.
Russer!
Russer.
RUUUSSSEEERRRR!!!!
RUSSIA RUSSER RUUUSSSSEEERRRR
[YMS] But contrary to popular belief, his name's Russell.
And wouldn't you know it, he looks exactly like a Jack Russell Terrier.
If you rearrange the letters in Jack Russell Terriers, you'll see that it
spells out "Carl's Junior likes tererus."
Illuminopily confirmed.
You got something to say for yourself, Carl's Jr.?
Looks like the only thing I'll ever be ordering from you again is a Double Western
with a side order of freedom fries.
Now some people might think that the main character Mona is not actually
a three-year-old girl, but is an old man.
And although that would explain why she's so BALD, I think my interpretation
of the show explains a lot more than that.
Alright, so why is it that we ever seen Mona and her grandmother?
I think it's possible that her grandmother now has custody.
Perhaps Mona's parents were abusive. Perhaps they both tragically died
in a car accident.
What if the opening title sequence is Mona reliving that very day of tragedy?
Notice how it starts out with her in bed. During the rest of this opening title
sequence she is actually still asleep. This is just one of many nights where she's
consumed by nightmares reliving that horrific event.
She experiences the day as though it were like normal... taking a bath
with her clothes on, eggs and bread flying solemnly through the air
[Mona] BREKFAS!
[YMS] ...until we see her in the back seat of a car.
We can imagine that her parents are probably sitting up front.
The evidence of a car accident is represented by a sign crashing straight
through her window.
The fact that they use the split road sign is supposed to represent that her
parents are now both split in half.
And what does the car crash turn into? Life with Nana, who is now completely
responsible for Mona.
But unfortunately Nana is an alcoholic. She doesn't wanna look after Mona, she
just wants to drink her life away.
So she lets the dog look after her instead. This works for some time but
eventually Mona got sick of playing outside.
But Nana wasn't about to let Mona ruin her drinking alone time.
So to ensure that she always managed to stay occupied in the backyard, Nana
started secretly spiking Mona's orange juice with high doses of LSD.
The reason why Mona looks as though she is always high as fuck, is because
she is always high as fuck.
Her pupils have gotten so large that her eyes are now all pupil. Her scleras
may still exist but they are far from being visible.
And now she's forced to live her life aimlessly in the backyard of Nana's
house, but also have the best time ever.
[dog barking]
[psychedelic music plays]
Step four: Set the video speed to 50 percent.
If you listen to all of these instructions, this last crucial step really ties
everything together.
If all instructions are followed properly, then your end result should
look something like this:
[YMS] Life with PTSD.
She's got Stockholm Syndrome!
[group begins laughing]
[laughter intensifies, distant banging is heard]
[laughter begins to sound like collective sobbing]
[Friend, through laughter] Oh my God!
[YMS] I like to think, like, the little girl's parents died,
and this grandma
[inturrupted by friend's laughter]
--she, she thought like, "I'm at that point where I can just kick back,
get drunk, and then not deal with the rest of my life," and then they're like
"Oh you have to take care of this kid" and she's like "I'll just leave her outside."
So she can just get drunk all day inside, and then just
every once in a while she'll just... be like "Here, have this random fucking thing,
go entertain yourself."
And she just keeps her sedated, on constant doses on LSD, [friend laughs]
so she can get drunk by herself.
Dude, she is focusing in harcore into this nut.
[group laughs]
[Friend] So long! Ahah!
[Friend] Seriously-- [cut off by group laughter]
[Friend] That was like, [intelligible]
[laughter]
[friend] She's tripping balls.
[laughter]
[Friend] I just had a magical experience.
[Nana, slowly] Is it a picture of a flower?
[laughter]
[Mona, over laughter] No.
[Nana] Git away.
[laughter]
[YMS] There's a secret sadness to this show.
[Nana] I-- eh-- eh-- can I see your picture?
[laughter]
[Mona] No.
[Nana] Uh wuh luh [???] see your picture?
[Nana] Is it albost done?
[laughter]
[Nana] Is albost done?!
[Nana] Can I see your picture?!
[Nana] Oooouuuuhhh!
[Nana softly moans]
[laughter]
[Nana] Oooohhh...!
[?????]
[Nana] Hmmm-kay, lemme take a look at your picture...!
[laughter]
[Nana] Hooooh! That's da most beautiful bicture ever. [laughter continues]
[Mona] Nana...!
[Nana] Issat a picture of me??
[laughter]
[Nana] OOUUUUUHHHHHHH!!!
[Nana] That's so [???]
[continued laughter]
Now, there are some questions about the Nanalan universe that remain unanswered.
Notice the snail's placement right in front of the duck's lower half.
Could this be a metaphor for something that Mona are repressed in her past?
And just what about this shot? What exactly does this mean?
We may not be able to find all of the answers hidden in the show,
but one thing here is certain:
Canadian children's programming is really fucking weird.
♪ Don'chu put it in your mouth ♪
Uh-uh.
♪ 'Til you ask someone you love ♪
That's right, sis.
♪ If it's okay to eat ♪
♪ Like a muffin or a beet ♪
♪ Like a muffin or a beet ♪]
♪ If you don't know just what it is... ♪
Remember boys and girls...
♪ Don't put it in your-- ♪
Hi, I'm YMS, star of the hit reality show "Sixteen Abortions and Counting!"
Today I discovered I'm really immature.
♪ Oh yeah, I, I got a heart... ♪
♪ of darkness... ♪
♪ Oh yeah, I, I got a heart... of darkness. ♪
[Subtitles by R]