Translator: Ilze Garda Reviewer: Denise RQ
Honestly, I didn't expect there will be so many of you,
and I don't mean here particularly, I mean here altogether.
I've been living thinking that there are 6 billion of us on this planet,
it turns out there are more than 7 billion of us here already.
Yet, you know, many surveys and popular sentiment suggest
people feel more and more isolated, more and more lonely,
more and more depressed, or just bored.
Which made me wonder:
how many people, out of those 7 billion,
can one actually have meaningful relationships with?
I'm not talking here about the illusion created by Facebook or Twitter,
I mean like real friendships.
If I can just ask you to think and count:
how many real friends do you think you have?
How many people can you have a long and interesting conversation with?
Or, how many people would you invite and would like to see for your birthday?
Or, how many people
in unfortunate circumstances would show up in the hospital?
It turns out there is a number
- there is a number for everything these days -
and you might have heard of Dunbar's number; who has?
OK, good.
Dunbar's number is essentially a cognitive limit to the number of people
one can have or maintain stable social relationships with.
Any guesses how big is that number?
One? No.
How much?
49. OK, we're getting closer.
It turns out it's 150, which, if you think, is not that little.
So if previously, when you were counting
your friends and people you like to talk with,
if you counted more like 49 or 60, even if you got it up to 100,
you can see that there is still quite some space or room
for enlargement, so to say, of mind and heart in respect to other people,
which leads me to the next question.
So how do you establish and maintain a meaningful relationship?
It seems that it doesn't happen
in these business card swapping and bar hopping occasions.
It seems that relationships that are meaningful or serious
are grounded in meaningful experiences.
Let me explain you what I think these ways are
or what these experiences that bond us are.
Let me explain it with a simple diagram,
sort of my take on Maslow's pyramid of needs,
and I apologize for such a cliche,
but, you know, whatever works, as Woody Allen would say.
What we have at the bottom of that pyramid, I would say,
are random social gatherings.
You can get to know people in public spaces:
bars, nightclubs, or events.
Usually, in those circumstances, a considerable amount of alcohol is used,
and not without a reason,
because you might have noticed that with every next drink
you become more sociable, and people become more interesting,
and you can certainly form at least some type of relationships that way,
but you might've also noticed that these are not the most lasting relationships,
so I wouldn't suggest you to stay on this biological, so to say, level.
The next level, I would say, is that of geographical proximity.
We are friends with people we grow up with,
that are right next door from us.
And you certainly do share
some basic interests and needs with your neighbours:
you don't want to be robbed,
or you might need to share some home appliance once in a while,
and, of course, less and less so,
but at least the option of becoming friends with your neighbours
is always there, it is physically available.
But again, as I said, less and less so these days.
So, the first level, strangers in a bar; the second level, neighbours;
the third level, of course, family.
These are actually people you can rely on,
who will show up, most likely, in that hospital.
Of course, you inherit a certain group of people,
and then you add a few more,
but then altogether, that is a rather narrow group of people,
unless you're working hard on the number of children,
or something like that.
So we move to the next level,
and this the level, I would say, the majority of our friendships form,
and this is the level where actually our interests bring us together.
Hopefully, you study what you're interested in,
hopefully, at a university you like,
hopefully, you ended up working in a field that you're interested in.
This is actually the level that you can spend days and nights
talking about subjects that nobody else seems to care about.
This is where you're bound to run into shared troubles,
or find out something, or you create something new.
It's all great,
and altogether, I would say,
for many people it's perfectly enough
with people and their friends from the combination of these levels.
It's perfectly enough with family,
it's perfectly enough with your work colleagues,
but I think if you're sitting here, or if you're watching this talk online,
there is something left wanting.
You want to find out something new, you want to meet other people,
or get to know them at least, and what they are thinking about.
This is the level
that gathers people irrespectively of their professional, social background,
that gathers them to work together on an idea, or a cause, or a purpose,
and, of course, that is the level of NGOs,
it's the level of non-profits or charities as they are called in the US.
I can kind of imagine what you're thinking.
I know that non-profits are not associated with the most effective organizations;
they are these hippie-like, esoteric formations
with obscure and unrealistic aims.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
Of course, there are such non-profits,
the same way as there are such businesses and government institutions,
but in reality, some of the best non-profits or organizations altogether,
some of the best initiatives come exactly from NGOs.
Just to name a few,
- and, of course, it is more specific
to kind of an American tradition of civic engagement and philanthropy -
but still, the Metropolitan Opera is an NGO, Oxfam is an NGO,
UNICEF is an NGO, Wikipedia is an NGO.
Here in Latvia, ziedot.lv is an NGO, The Vītols Fund is an NGO,
Mission Possible is an NGO,
and even TED Talks and TEDxRiga is an NGO.
So what we see is people coming together
to do something that stands outside their direct wellbeing,
their family circle, or their money generating ideas.
It all looks so big and remote when you look at those big logos on the screen,
but let me tell you my story about my involvement in NGOs
to show that's possible
and all of you could be involved
- besides your family, your studies and your work -
in the NGO sector.
I think as long as I remember myself,
I've been involved in the NGO sector in one way or another.
Quite typical for a Latvian, you start with a choir,
then you go to a student organization - best times! -
and then, hopefully, you end up with an NGO
that attracts you or is of your direct interest.
My interest lies in arts,
so five years ago, together with like-minded people,
I founded the Contemporary Art Centre "kim?"
here in Riga,
and those have been the most wonderful five years.
We've organized more than 90 exhibitions,
we've had more than 100 educational activities, talks, and lectures,
we've published artist catalogues, and translations,
we've represented our artists
in Shanghai, Berlin, New York, Malmö,
and just recently, actually last week, we came back from Venice Biennale
where we had an honor to represent Latvia
in what is known as kind of the olympics of arts.
Everywhere we would go and whatever we would do,
we would meet the most wonderful, the most passionate people.
So that is my story,
but I'm absolutely sure that every single one of you
cares about something or is interested in something.
Whatever that is
- whether that is fighting stupidity, or fighting against corruption,
or supporting education,
or supporting arts, and culture, museums, libraries,
fighting for LGBT rights or any other topic -
there is so much you can do, and I think you should really do that
because that is what essentially bonds us together.
It's only in NGOs where you see people, as I told you already,
from most diverse professional backgrounds
to come together, and it is where surgeons meet filmmakers
- it can happen as well in the surgery room,
but I wouldn't talk about these cases -
so surgeons meet filmmakers, ambassadors meet architects,
entrepreneurs meet professors;
this is the field, this is where you go through meaningful experiences
and find new friends.
So just to illustrate how it looks visually,
this is a visualization of my professional network,
and each color describes
a certain group of people that I'm in touch with.
What you see down there in orange and, I think, pinkish,
all relates to my studies in SSE Riga.
That island over there relates to my studies in New York.
The middle part, the blue part,
relates to my working in advertising and consulting,
but then that green part and all these satellites around
relates to my involvement in the NGO sector.
So see what your social ties look like
and see how diverse they are,
and that refers to professional background,
but the same refers to geography.
I already mentioned a few cities that we are actively working with.
But there are so many more that we could and will be working with.
So again, just to illustrate my point,
here is a snapshot from Google Analytics
that shows the geography of visitors to the webpage of my institution.
And it's really not a webpage on which you can bump,
it's not advertised, you really have to look for it.
So people who have found it have some interest in the same things
that I'm interested in.
Yes, as you can see, it covers almost the whole world.
I know, I think we have to work on Greenland, but apart from that,
it does cover the whole world.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that contrary to a popular belief,
NGOs are not just about giving,
they are as much about getting back or receiving.
I started with a number, and let me finish with this number.
Think of us, 7 billion people,
like molecules running around.
What you, I think, don't want, as Bertrand Russell would say,
is to be like a hard, separate entity, a bit like a billiard ball
that can have no other relationship with other such entity,
except that of a collision.
What you also don't want
is to leave your chances of meeting those 150 most amazing friends of yours
to a pure chance,
because if you're going to sit home, nothing will ever happen.
So my suggestion is to do something,
and to do what?
To support, to get involved in one of the existing NGOs,
or create a new one.
Thank you.
(Applause)