TALKING TO KEITH URBAN, A PERFORMANCE BY JON BATISTE,
STICK AROUND FOR THAT LOOK AT THAT, BOTH TONIGHT'S GUESTS,
MUSICIAN, WOULD YOU LET THEM IN THE BAND, WOULD YOU FORM A
SUPERGROUP, BATISTE, URBAN, WATTS.
>> ABSOLUTELY I WOULD WELCOME HIM INTO THE BAND, NO PROBLEM AT
ALL.
>> I JUST CAN'T EVEN GET CLOSE-- I COULD TRY TO GET
LOWER.
>> YOU COULD GET.
>> BUT MY WORRY IS, REALLY STARTING TO SHOW OFF MY DOUBLE
CHIN, BECAUSE THE LOWER I GET, THE MORE CHIN ARRIVE.
>> YEAH.
>> BUT I HAVE A BEARD, IT HIDES THE CHIN.
>> THE BEARD HIDES THE ADDITIONAL CHIN.
>> BEARD HIDES CHIN.
>> I CANNOT GO LOWER, I THINK THAT IS AS LOW AS CAN I GO.
>> Reggie: THAT IS AS LOW AS CAN I GO.
>> HOW LOW WE TALKING BROTHER.
>> LOW.
(LAUGHTER) >> I BET YOU ANYTHING YOU ARE
SECRETLY HAVE A LOW VOICE.
>> THAT'S ABOUT IT.
>> IT IS A HIGH CEILING, HIGH FLOOR SITUATION.
>> James: THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT.
LET ME ASK YOU, HAVE YOU GOT ANY MUSICAL TAL EPTS.
>> I'M ONE OF THE WORLD'S GREAT SINGERS.
>> James: NO, FOR REAL, SERIOUSLY.
>> IN REAL LIFE.
>> James: YES.
>> NO.
>> James: NONE.
>> NOT A-- NO, NOTHING.
>> James: REALLY?
>> NOT GOOD AT ANYTHING.
I'M FUN AT KARAOKE.
>> James: I BET YOU ARE, ACTUALLY.
>> I'M LIKE A GOOD TIME.
>> James: WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO SONG.
>> OH MAN, ME AND MY OLDER SISTER DO THE B-52 SONG.
>> James: LOVE SHACK.
>> ROCK LOBSTER.
>> I CAN BE THE GUY, I GOT ME A CAR.
♪ IT'S ABOUT 20.
♪ LIKE I CAN DO THAT.
(LAUGHTER) >> WOW.
>> AND SHE'S GOT LIKE AN AMAZING SINGING VOICE.
>> James: LOVE SHAKE.
>> AND I'M LIKE GOT ME A CLIESER, IT'S A BIG AS A WHALE,
IT'S ABOUT TO SET SAIL.
♪ I DO ALL OF THAT.
>> James: PERFECT.
HAVE HE EVER TRIED TO DO A KARAOKE NIGHT, HAVE WE EVER
TRIED IT?
>> WE NEVER HAVE.
>> ME AND THE BIRTHDAY BUOY, LOWS WEYMOUTH'S BIRTHDAY TODAY,
EVERYBODY.
>> James: WE SHOULD SAY THAT.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOUIS.
THERE IT IS.
HANG ON, HAVE YOU TWO DONE KARAOKE.
>> YES, FILL ME UP BUTTER CUP.
>> James: WHEN WAS THIS?
>> IT WAS AT SOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY IN LITTLE TOKYO.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> WE-- YEAH, YEAH.
>> BLEW THE ROOF OFF.
>> I WANT TO SAY CEILING.
>> IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, IF YOU WANT TO SAY CEILING,-- .
♪ ♪ NEVER CALL BABY WHEN YOU SAY
YOU WILL.
♪ BUT I LOVE YOU STILL.
♪ I NEED YOU MORE THAN ANYONE DARLING.
♪ ALL THAT.
♪ FILL ME UP.
♪ BUTTER CUP.
♪ DON'T BREAK MY HEART.
>> James: BEAUTIFUL.
WHAT'S THAT?
I JUST HEARD THEY DID THAT SAME SONG ON KIMMEL TONIGHT.
YEAH.
>> SORRY, WE'VE GOT TO CUT IT.
DO WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT NOW ROB, THAT SONG OR BECAUSE IT
HAPPENED.
>> IT WAS EPHEMERAL, WE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN T
POPPED OUT OF ANYWHERE.
>> James: IF IS EPHEMERAL, WE DON'T PAY FOR T HOW OLD ARE YOU.
>> FOUR SEE.
>> I'M SCOREE, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE OF THE MASK.
>> WHAT DID YOU SAY.
>> I SAID 40-- .
>> James: LOOK AT THAT.
WE HAVE OPENED WITH A SONG, ALL DOWN HILL FROM HERE, GUYS, ALL
DOWN HILL FROM HERE.
BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT LOUISEE BIRTHDAY.
>> JAMES: SURE, WE'D ALL LOVE FOR TONIGHT TO BE ONE EXTENDED
LATE NIGHT JAM SESSION, BUT THAT'S SIMPLY NOT POSSIBLE.
FRANKLY, IT WOULD BE IRRESPONSIBLE.
BECAUSE I HAVE A DUTY TO THE CITIZENS OF THE WORLD, AND THAT
IS TO KEEP THEM INFORMED.
HOW LONG WILL WE KEEP GOING, IT FEELS LIKE IT IS DE PRESH
YAITING.
I DON'T THINK WE CAN DO IT EVERY DAY, I THINK WE HAVE TO SAVOR
IT, SPRING TELL FOR A LITTLE EXTRA.
>> NO WAY STEVE COULD HAVE KNOWN THAT.
>> James: I KNEW IT WAS COMING AND THE TIME I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE FELL AND I EVEN-- FELT T ALONE AT HOME.
STILL THIS, WHAT NEXT, OH YEAH, GREAT.
(LAUGHTER) LAST NIGHT, HOUSE SPEAKER NANCY
PELOSI SENT A LETTER TO PRESIDENT BIDEN INVITING HIM TO
MAKE HIS FIRST ADDRESS TO A JOINT SESSION OF CONGRESS ON
APRIL 28.
PRESIDENTS TYPICALLY MAKE THE ADDRESS IN THE FIRST FEW WEEKS
AFTER ENTERING THE WHITE HOUSE, BUT BIDEN HAS TAKEN MUCH LONGER
THAN USUAL.
THEY'RE COMMUNICATING VIA LETTER.
I'M NO EXPERT, BUT MAYBE PART OF THE REASON IT'S ALL TAKING SO
LONG IS THAT THEY'RE SENDING LETTERS.
HE'S ONE MILE AWAY FROM YOU.
RIDE YOUR BIKE OVER THERE AT LUNCH.
POP IT IN THE ERCK MAIL.
HOW MANY THINGS ARE SAYING DO YOU THINK BIDEN WILL JUST MAKE
UP AND RANDOMLY SLIP INTO HIS SPEECH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
(AS BIDEN) A CAT IS ONLY AS GOOD AS ITS BARBER, EXCUSES ARE LIKE
GRAHAM CRACKERS, KEEP A BUNCH IN YOUR POCKET.
HOW MANY DUE THINK IAN.
>> PICKLE IS A CUCUMBER THAT FORGOT WHERE IT CAME FROM.
>> James: EXACTLY RIGHT THAT SORT OF STUFF.
>> JAMES: THIS IS A BIG DEAL.
A HIGHLY ANTICIPATED EVENT IN APRIL, WHERE EVERY
CONGRESSPERSON WILL BE ATTENDING, THAT'S HEADLINED BY
BIDEN.
IT'S BEING PROMOTED AS-- JOECHELLA.
IN OTHER POLITICAL NEWS, VLADIMIR PUTIN CONTINUES TO GIVE
PRESIDENT BIDEN THE COLD SHOULDER.
DURING A PHONE CALL ON TUESDAY, BIDEN INVITED THE RUSSIAN LEADER
TO MEET, BUT PUTIN HAS SO FAR REFUSED TO COMMIT.
I MEAN, YOU CALL A GUY A KILLER ON NATIONAL TV-- ONE TIME BY THE
WAY, COLD SHOULDER.
SEEMS LIKE A WEIRD TERM TO USE WHEN YOU'RE DISCUSSING
INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY.
RUSSIA'S GIVING US THE COLD SHOULDER, AND NORTH KOREA IS
TOTALLY BEING A RAGING B-WORD.
MOVING ON, DOES EVERYONE REMEMBER THAT GIANT CARGO SHIP
THAT BLOCKED THE SUEZ CANAL FOR DAYS?
WELL, WE HAVE AN UPDATE FOR YOU.
THIS MORNING, EGYPT IMPOUNDED THE SHIP AFTER THE OWNERS
REFUSED TO PAY FINES TOTALING MORE THAN $900 MILLION.
$900 MILLION.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
PYRAMID SCHEME.
IT HAPPENED IN EGYPT.
>> YES, I TBT IT.
>> James: EGYPT WON'T KEEP THE SHIP FOREVER.
EVENTUALLY IT WILL BE DONATED TO THE MUSEUM OF THINGS WE CAN'T
BELIEVE THE WHOLE WORLD CARED ABOUT FOR A MONTH.
IT'LL LOOK GREAT NEXT TO TIGER KING, A MASKED SINGER COSTUME
AND BASEBALL AND FIDGET IAN, WHAT OTHER FADS DID
EVERYONE TALK ABOUT AND THEN COMPLETELY FORGET?
>> LIKE THE POST OFFICE.
>> James: YES, YES.
>> THE POST OFFICE.
>> James: WE CARED SO MUCH ABOUT THAT.
>> I BOUGHT A POST OFFICE SHIRT, I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
>> James: I BOUGHT A THOUSAND STAMPS TO SAVE THE POST OFF
OFFICES, AND NOW ARE YOU LIKE OH [BLEEP] I'M SENDING AN EMAIL.
>> Reggie: HOVERBOARDS.
>> James: YEAH.
REMEMBER WHEN JUSTIN BIEBER BOUGHT THAT HOVERBOARD HERE THAT
WAS ONE OF THE MOST TRAGIC MOMENTS OF MY LIFE AND I HAVE
HAD A LOT.
>> THAT WAS TERRIBLE.
>> James: THE FIRST TIME JUSTIN BIEBER CAME TO THE SHOW,
WASN'T IT AND ON EYE HOVERBOARD, WHIPPING AROUND THE WHOLE PLACE,
YOU WOULD BE IN YOUR OFFICE AND JUSTIN BIEBER WHIPS PAST ON A
HOVERBOARD, WE ARE GETTING READY FOR THE SHOW, DID HE PLAY THE
DRUMS OR SOMETHING, SO HE IS ON THIS HOVERBOARD AND GOES YOU
SHOULD HAVE A GO.
AND I WENT NO, SORRY MATE, AND HE SAID HAVE A GOOD, IT IS
REALLY EASY, AND ALL HIS PEOPLE WERE THERE.
SURE, HAVE A GO, A STEP ON IT AND BAM, HIT THE DECK.
AND THEN YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN YU LAY ON THE FLOOR,
LOOKING UP AT JUSTIN BIEBER.
AS HE LOOKS AS YOU LIKE HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
AND I'M LIKE CUZ I'M A DAD.
I CAN'T HOVERBOARD.
BUT ALL MY FRIENDS GOT A SKATEBOARD, THAT YEAR AT SCHOOL,
WHENEVER GOT SKATEBOARDS, ALL MY MATES, LIKE 116789 I WAS THE KID
LAYING DOWN LIKE THIS.
LIKE THEY'RE ALL LIKE KICK FLIPS, AND I WAS LIKE YEAH, THIS
IS GREAT FUN GUYS.
WHEN ARE WE GOING TO-- WHEN ARE WE GOING TO DPROA OUT OF THIS?
THIS IS FUN.
WE'RE ALL HAVING A GREAT TIME.
YOU CAN SKATEBOARD.
>> Reggie: NO, I CAN'T GET DOWN WITH ANYTHING THAT DETACHES
ME FROM THE GROUND.
>> James: I CAN'T.
I BET YOU ARE PRETTY HANDY ON A SKATEBOARD.
>> I CAN SKATE, A LITTLE.
>> James: THERE IS NO ONE IN THE WORLD THAT DOES THIS WITH
SUCH CONFIDENCE IF THEY CAN'T SKATE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
NO ONE DOES THAT THAT CAN'T SKATE OR SNOWBOARD.
>> THAT RIGHT?
>> ALWAYS.
>> James: I CAME BACK TO MY OFFICE THE OTHER DAY, I GO BACK
OUT TO MY OFFICE AFTER TAPING THE SHOW, I TURN MY COMPUTER ON
TO SEE THAT WINNIE HAD CHANGED MY SCREEN SAVER TO, DO YOU WANT
TO SHOW, A PICTURE OF WINNIE, I OPEN IT, BOOM, CLOSE UP PICTURE
OF WINNIE DOING THIS.
IT WAS SO FUBBEE.
HERE IS THE THING, WE HAVE A GREAT TIME.
AND FINALLY, FACEBOOK HAS JUST RESTORED THE PAGE OF A FRENCH
TOWN AFTER ADMITTING IT MISTAKENLY SENSE ERRED IT LAST
MONTH TO THE CONFUSION OF THE TOWN'S NAME, THE NAME OF THE
TOWN WAS BITCHE, FRANCE.
THE FACEBOOK SENSORS NEED JOB, THANK YOU, SUSAN, WOW, DID YOU
THARY?
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
>> THAT WAS FUNNY.
>> THAT IS THE FIRST TIME YOU LAUGHED IN THREE WEEKS.
NOW, ALL WE NEED IS JUSTICE FOR THE OTHER TOWNS WHO HAVE BEEN
HORRIBLE VICTIMS OF FACEBOOK'S CENSORSHIP.
WE CALL ON THEM TO RESTORE THE PAGES FOR INTERCOURSE,
PENNSYLVANIA, WANK, GERMANY AND HWANG HASN'T BRN A THING.
>> ST A WORD, WE KNOW IT.
>> James: BUT YOU DON'T USE IT.
>> NOT LIKE WE SHOULD.
>> James: I NEVER HEAR ANYONE AROUND THE OFFICE OH, I'M JUST
GOING TO PULL A HWANG.
(LAUGHTER) YEAH, BUT THE TOWN OF HWANG IF
GERMANY NEEDS TO BE RESORRED.
AND OF COURSE THIS TOWN IN AUSTRALIA.
AUSTRALIA, TITTYBONG.
I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WATCHING -- SUSAN IS ON FLAMES, SUSAN,
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
>> HILARIOUS.
YZ DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN.
TITTYBONG.
THERE IT IS.