the South Carolina primaries coming up
this weekend and Super Tuesday right
behind that we're getting very close
closer and closer to nominating a
Democratic candidate to run against
Trump
now one candidate who's been showing a
lot of momentum is of course Vermont
senator Bernie Sanders this guy has this
guy has a real movement behind him but
he's also a divisive candidate within
his party and if Sanders is nominated
he's gonna need the support of every
Democrat every single Democrat to beat
Trump luckily ladies and gentlemen one
of our shows newest sponsors has a
solution check it out how about this one
no change in her heart rate doctor so
you're not feeling even a little
excitement yet no come on Jenny may I
speak with you privately right now over
here you ain't just good to see what
we're seeing and jenny has become an
increasingly common condition during the
primaries that's why I'm prescribing
Bern a drill what's burnin trill I'll
take it from here doc I'm a celebrity
why should anyone care what a doctor six
burnin drill is an enthusiasm
enhancement drug
Democratic voters facing the very real
possibility that their only chance to
beat Donald Trump will be Vermont
senator Bernie Sanders some voters may
like Sanders policies but their brains
are unable to produce the chemicals
necessary to field genuine excitement
for an old grumpy white guy who looks
like he brings his own sandwich to
Starbucks as more and more voters see
their preferred candidate fail they're
left with feelings of sub-optimal
enthusiasm for Sanders similar to
feelings one experiences while scrolling
through Netflix is British TV dramas
menu or hearing a waiter say tonight's
special is poached salmon
that's where Bernie drill can help in
just three months you'll see your
enthusiasm for Bernie Sanders go from
this to this that's just enough
excitement to get you out of bed on
Election Day Bern a drill voter
enhancement medication from the makers
of Gouda gels this product will not work
[Applause]